Well, by the time that you get your mitts on the Gazette, most of you will already know the results of the local elections - or not care. For those interested, the PA got 10 council posts, the present mayor's party (PP) 7 and the PSOE, 4. Nobody knows yet exactly how this will effect the power struggle between those who struggle to get Benavides in and those who are struggling to keep him out. Two things are likely: A) The PP and PSOE join up again and face the possible wrath of the respective HQ's. B) The PSOE go into government with the PA to provide a check on his coming policies. There's even a third possibility, because the elections might be annulled because the Pata Pollo's (PA) deliberately offered campaigning messages through their exclusively owned TV station on the eve of the elections - something that is highly prohibited. By the way, Pata Pollo is the nickname for the PA because their emblem is a 3-fingered green hand: hence pata pollo (chicken foot). For God's sake, if you are going to use it, don't get the final 'A' mixed up with the final 'O' because Pato Polla means Dick Duck - and we don't mean Richard!

Many politicians and members of the electorate consider that Juan Carlos Benavides went too far during the local elections with his anti-PP publicity spot. Although the spot was withdrawn because of the general indignation generated, many votes were undoubtedly lost for his cause. The spot in question showed the mayor, Juan Luis González Montoro, with images of Adolf Hitler superimposed. The inference was that the mayor was a dictatorial despot, however this comparison with such an infamous and sanguine character was certainly overboard, even if the PA's accusations were on firm ground. The PA based their assessment of the mayor on the fact that during one of the many public occasions to which the members of the press were invited, the mayor ordered the removal of a reporter of the Costa Tropical newspaper. It is a well-known fact that the newspaper, together with Television Costa Tropical is owned and run by PA sympathisers. The mayor claims that he was forced to take such action because, according to him and other political parties present, the sole intention of the reporter was to disrupt the meeting. The local television station in question is, according to the law courts, operating illegally because it lacks the necessary conditions to receive an operating licence. The PA, on the other hand, has ignored the court finding because in their opinion the 'guaranteed right of free speech' is above mundane municipal laws.

Have you ever fancied having a look around San Miguel Castle but were put off by the slog to get up there on foot or the lack of parking, if you take the car? The solution is at hand! If the project is not electoral hot air, then we can soon count on a lift from the paseo up to the castle. Once you're up there, there will also be a promenade around and below the castle walls. One of the buildings on the paseo between Los Bajos (the fountain and half boat monument) and El Santo (the cross on the rocks) will have to be modified to incorporate the lift, which will elevate users just over 18 metres above sea level up to just below the walls. What many people don't realise is that El Santo (the cross) was one of the outer bastions of the castle until an unscrupulous builder back in the sixties decided to sever it from the castle and build what is today Hotel Sexi Apartments. Before that the road passed through a tunnel.

Rumour has it that a golf company is interested in building a nine-hole golf course in Otívar. You immediately think that it must be a vertical one because the village is perched on a hillside. Yet within the parish of Otívar there is a nice flat bit of land down-by the river, known to the locals as the Fábrica de Serrar (the sawmill). There might be enough room for one - especially if you use short clubs and square balls! The next item is fact and not rumour. In the next few months electricity will be installed all along the lane to the Ermita de Bodíjar, which is excellent news for all those cortijo owners out that way. An item of useful news for those hungry cortijo hunters!

The CTC (Cotobro Tennis Club), has now opened its doors to guest members, for a fee of 300 euros a year. Preference will be given to Cotobro residents.

There is a possibility that the new football ground of La Paloma may have a bicycle speed track installed in the near future, which should make the Almuñécar Cyclist Club more than happy. This new football ground is being built on the opposite side of the main road to the P4 junction. Bear in mind, though, that this piece of information was given out by the town hall ten days before the local elections.

The Spanish Association Against Cancer (AECC) is organising a course for those who wish to stop smoking. Anybody who seriously wishes to kick the habit but needs help to do so, may join the sessions. The only thing that this course will cost you is willpower, as it is completely free. To put your name down either, leave your name with your GP or pop along to the AECC shop, on the opposite side of the road from the Rio Verde Junior School. Each session will comprise of an assessment of your condition and lectures concerning the ill effects that smoking causes. The beginning of the course and the location will depend on the numbers attending. Initially it is planned that the sessions will begin around the 4th and be held at the medical centre. If you've got any questions then phone Jorge on 639 163 651 or Netty on 958 630 330. A point worth mentioning is that on the 9th of May, which was the Flag Day or Cancer Day, the Almuñécar branch collected 2,340 euros for the cause, which was 300 euros up on the previous year's takings. Just the sheer energy expended by the members of AECC in their efforts to help others selflessly, deserves every character printed to promote them and every support, financial or otherwise, that our readers can offer.

An accident on the main road between Taramay and the municipal limits with Salobreña caused 5 kilometre tailbacks on either side, as well as three badly injured people. The incident occurred at 16.30 on the 24th May and caused hold ups for 3 hours. The road was completely cut until 17.10 and it took another 2 hours to clear the backlog created. The cause of the accident was a car, which was travelling west at excessive speeds, according to the Guardia Civil, that invaded the opposite lane and collided with 2 on-coming cars.

Almuñécar's fishermen have been given special blue and white striped, wooden boxes to keep their fishing gear in on the beach. The object of this donation is to give the beach a uniform appearance and to make sure that harmful pieces of equipment, such as hooks, aren't left hanging around. The fishermen have ten days to adopt these wooden boxes, after which no other containers will be acceptable.

After an absence of 20 years, the fisherman's statue is finally back. On Saturday 17th of May it was officially unveiled - in an atmosphere of political controversy - by the mayor. Now, the author of these lines has the impression the statue from the 80's was a lot bigger and more of a sandy colour than this one. Admittedly, our memories like to play tricks on us. Childhood memories of cornfields give the impression that the present day variety seems much shorter than before. It's partly an illusion of course because everything seems tall when you're only 3ft tall, right? The wife of our publisher, when asked about the dimensions of original statue, confirmed that it was bigger and of a different colour. Is nothing sacred? Anyway, back in the early eighties the original was taken down in an effort to make the town more modern. Before, there used to be a small square with our hero standing in the middle but they decided to improve the traffic system and hey presto, we got our present day chaos. The original statue, which was set in place in 1973, was destroyed so a 'replica' had to be made. The original statue was supposed to represent a fisherman with his catch on his way to the fish market - which has also disappeared. The original one was next to the present day El Rastro Pub. Oh, by the way, The original El Rastro Pub has also disappeared, along with the whole apartment block. Benavides threw everybody out of the block and blew it up, because it was falling down anyway, about 15 years back.

We now have a new church here! El Salvador (The Saviour) has been built in the P4, just around the corner from the Mercadona supermarket block. Just in front of it is a bar wisely and wittily called En Frente de Misa (In Front of the Mass hall). The truth is that it looks more like the front of a house than of a church. It does have narrow, arched windows complete with stained glass but other than that, you had just as well remember the name of the bar, if you want to find it. It's a Catholic denomination church, we believe. Whether you consider that the town needs another church for its dwindling church-going population or that a Sinners & Sodomites Recreational Hall would be more popular, is a matter of opinion. The bank entity, Caja Sur, has extended a loan for 600,000 euros, which will have to be paid back over the next 24 years, but the sum still falls short of the total budget - another 240,000 euros are needed. The resident Heaven & Co. cloud bouncer, Padre Eugenio Valero, says that the church will be inaugurated on the 15th of this month, come Heaven or high-water (not much of either around at this time of year).

All those projects and long awaited road repairs have suddenly acquired a tremendous importance at the town hall, two weeks before the local elections. Strange! So it came to pass that on the 12th of last month the fountain-cum-roundabout was partially closed to traffic and workmen ostentatiously begin digging up the road, in order to bring a decent water supply to those who live up by the Santa Cruz Junior School and beyond. The Mayor (or ex-mayor - who knows because the elections will have come and gone by the time that you have this article in your mitts) just happened to be standing by the trench, taking great interest, when a photo was taken. Even stranger! The poor souls up in San Sebastian (the Almuñecan barrio: not the northern city) can hardly coach a cringing drip from their reluctant taps on most weekends. And as for the summers, if you open the tap, you stand in danger of dehydrating the room. The down side to all this is that the whole process should take around two and a half months. In other words, from here till the end of July, that road is going to be partially dug up and rutted. You can't help thinking that this should have been started at the beginning of January, can you?

The Ed bumped into Dicky Small the other day and was given a photo showing the sorry state of his Land Rover. There is an account in the March issue of the Gazette of his lucky escape from a nasty prang on a French motorway. Had he been driving anything less sturdy than a great sod-off Landy, then he would have no trouble finding worms as bait for his fishing enterprise. The main thing is that Dicky is alive and strumming a guitar and not a harp - come to think of it, it is highly improbable that Dicky Small will be going anywhere near a harp, either in this world or the next - as he would be the first to admit!

There was a council meeting on the 16th of last month, which principally dealt with the building of the new secondary school in the P4 building area. There was nothing special about it other than two points. Firstly, this was probably the penultimate council meeting of the present town council before the local elections and secondly, the absence - for the second time - of the principal opposition party, the PA. Juan Carlos Benavides is constantly being referred to as El Gran Ausente, or in other words, 'The Great Absent One'. Benny has probably drawn more attention to himself by not having a visible election campaign - there is a total lack of posters or pamphlets for the PA - than by joining the circus. A row of empty seats at a council meeting demands and receives more attention than a row of well-known belligerent faces mouthing the inevitable and faded remarks.

It's a good initiative to award the owners of traditional houses of the old town for embellishing the façades and inner courtyards of their homes. 65 façades and 21 patios took part in this year's competition, which was the IV Concurso de Fachadas y Patios Populares del Casco Antiguo. Almuñécar has two 'old towns.' One is up by the castle and the other - less known - is in San Sebastian, up by the Santa Cruz junior school. Anyway, if you want to go and have a look for yourselves, the addresses are as follows: 1st prize for façades was won by Encarna Alaminos and Ana Martin at 12 Angustias Modern. The 2nd by Lourdes Fern·ndez at 4 San Miguel and the 3rd by Antonia Galadón at 7 Explanada de San Miguel. The patio prizes were won by: 1st prize Manuela García at 1 Los Porches; 2nd prize, Juana Barea at 13 Filondendro and 3rd prize, Carmen Sánchez at 20 Guayaba. The façades are easy enough to see, if you can find the damned address but the inner courtyards, of course, could be a little bit more difficult.

Juan Luis Gonzalez, probably conscious that he might not be in the driving seat after the local elections, is thrashing the guts out of his Parker pen, signing go-aheads on building projects left, right and centre. The latest is a deal between the town hall and the building company Torre de Almuñécar S.L., for the building of the new fire station. The fire station, apart from having its own garage and stores, will also house the Protección Civil unit, which is a voluntary organisation that lends a hand at times of natural disasters and rock concerts, applying cups of coffee and tourniquets. If all goes to plan, then we should have our fire station within 18 months. The logic behind this flourish of ink, is that if he is re-elected then he can sit back and quietly carry it all out - and more importantly, be seen to be doing so. On the other hand if the PA takes over, then they will have the moral obligation of making sure that these things happen. And if they don't, then it's their fault and the ousted political party can say that this wouldn't have happened if they had remained in power. Sneaky eh?

Saturday the 17th of May saw the III Feria de Associaciones (Association and Club Fair) in the town hall square. 30 clubs were represented in all: The Cancer Association, the air modelling club, Alcoholics Anonymous and GEMA (a non-governmental environmental group), to mention just a few. Cecilia from AECC pointed out that the fair is an excellent idea because it gives everybody a chance to know who is who and what they are doing. "Knowing who the others are, gives us all a chance to help out or ask for help from each other," she told us. Perhaps one of the most visited stands was that of the Aero-modelling Club with the town huge model aircraft on display. The impressive Red Baron's Fokker Tri-plane, complete with machine guns occupied half the table. The other half was occupied by the even more impressive American Sabre-86, straight out of the Korean War, with its fully operational jet engine.Who was the proud maker and owner - none other than our friendly postman!

Going back to the subject of the new secondary 'house of horrors' school in the P4, the first stone was laid (no, we're not talking about Mick Jagger) with great ceremony. If all goes to plan, the new school will be opening its door in 18 months' time - in other words, for the autumn term of 2004. The school, which will cost 3.7m euros to build, will have 24 classrooms, a gym, an assembly hall, a library and computer, technology, chemistry & language labs. It will also have a special, little room where teachers can go and cry on Monday mornings or have a crafty fag and read during the rest of the week.

Juan Mora will now be looking for a job now that he and his party were voted out of existence - at least on the town council. The PILH received only 482 votes (3.82% of those cast), which is the worst result in the history of the party. The winners in La Herradura were the PA (Benavides). The enmity between Sr. Mora and Sr. Benavides was such that, that eternal utterance of Western films, 'This town ain't big enough for the both of us' was always in the air, although never said - in public, at least.

La Herradura's public library is 15,000 books better off, thanks to the family of Gustavo Agudo. Owing to this important donation, the village's little library now has one of the biggest book collections on the coast - God know where they are all going to be put! The fact is that Gustavo, a habitual visitor to the village, was adamant that the collection should not be broken up. Therefore, the family decided to give the public library the use, if not the ownership, of the books.

Alcoholics Anonymous for Almuñécar and La Herradura (A.R.D.A) can now count on a new club, which is situated in the Rambla del Espinar, La Herradura. The club has a floating (no pun) membership of between 10 and 20 members, some of whom attend from outlying villages to maintain their anonymity. The premises comprise of offices, toilets, a meetings hall and a bar... just joking! The La Herradura Association of Chronic Amnesia Suffers narrowly avoided being disbanded when it was decided to hold a meeting to decided whether to continue with the club - only one member remembered to turn up and even he couldn't remember why he had.

What a wondrous effect the proximity of local elections had! The Mayor told us in an interview that the condition of the road between Urbanisation Carmenes del Mar and the beach was not something the town hall could intervene in, as it was a private road. The problem was published in the provincial Spanish newspaper, Ideal, in this magazine and others but nothing would budge the town hall's stance. Lo! Barely two weeks before the elections the town hall spent 120,000 euros and does up 1,300 metres of road. It's a pity that the town hall doesn't have to justify its usefulness at least once a year - but without all the posters and political rallies.

On Friday 16th of May, Juan Mora called a press conference to put right what he considers to be an injustice perpetrated against him. The fact is that on the 6th of May the accusations against him were officially shelved by the law courts. However, the PA (Benavides) newspaper & TV have not only omitted to publish the fact, but also continued to use the accusation during the local election campaign. Sr. Mora stated to those present that it is his intention to sue the PA for damages. He also wishes to express his thanks to the Granada Law Courts for their quick reaction to the situation at this very sensitive political time, (local elections). Last month the Seaside Gazette criticised Juan Mora for his apparent lack of interest in the foreign vote but that does mean that he does not have the right to defend himself through our pages. Una de cal y dos de arena, as the Spanish say.

The town hall council meeting that was held on the 16th of last month had some points of interest for the village. The contract for the extension of the Las Gaviotas Infant School, which will add six more classrooms to the existing building, was officially awarded to Reuniones Proyectos y Construcciones Reunidos SA. All present also unanimously approved (note: the principal opposition party, the PA, didn't turn up) the opening of a public auction for a golf course in the Rio Jate Valley, just behind the village. Also approved at the council meeting was the renovation and extension of the Villanuueva de Mar Secondary School. It might well be worth noting that the council meeting was classified as 'extraordinary and urgent,' which means it was designed to produce the right noises during the last week of the election campaign. The same tactic is extensively used in teenage lover's relationships during moments of intensive activity, i.e., "I promise I won't..."

The Women's Association organised a make-up course in which twenty local women participated. Loli García provided the expertise and imparted manicure, make-up and skin care. The idea behind the course was help women look good and feel good, (but not necessarily. 'be good'). The course runs for 60 hours from 16.00 till 20.00 on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. The La Herradura Women's Association has already organised computer classes and a clinic assistant course. The next planned courses, according to the chairwoman, Nieves Bustos, will be secretary skills, play school monitor, and hairdresser. If you would like more information about the Women's Association, then go and make a nuisance of yourself at the Casa de la Cultura under the municipal market - they're bound to know.

Mathematics isn't necessarily boring at school, especially when the teachers and parents take the time and effort to organise a Mathematics & Games Day. And that's precisely what they did one Saturday at the beginning of last month. It was the third consecutive year that IES La Herradura and CP Las Gaviotas had celebrated the event. There's no doubt about it: Most teachers teach their subjects but a few simply bring it to life for their charges.

Moments after the first stone was laid for the new secondary school for Almuñécar, Juan Mora and the mayor jumped into a car and shot off over to La Herradura to solemnly lay the first stone of the Infants Education Centre. Burgales Procorsa got the juicy contract with its budget of 496,423 euros. The same company was also awarded the contract to extend the existing secondary school in the village with a budget of 225,000 euros. Inevitably, the first stone will sulk in solitude, once the elections have past, waiting for the second stone, which will no doubt be seen cruising into orbit around Saturn and far from cementing its relationship with the first. The elections will fade. The cameras will fly off to feast on the pickings of a different water hole and all those election promises will be painted a different colour, have their plates and chassis numbers changed and shipped off far from their owners.

It's not very often that you come across somebody skiing up hill - and even less frequent when it's along a dusty country road. But that was the apparition that the Ed came across along the old main road that leads around Cerro Gordo. The man in question was Paco Ávila, who is originally from Madrid but who has lived in the village for twenty years odd. Paco is a skiing and golf instructor. The incredulous Ed narrowly avoided riding off the side of the hill before turning round and pursuing the 'lost' skier. Neither of the two had met the other before but it soon turned out that both had mutual friends. The Ed forgot to ask him whether he practised 'dry' skiing at night - just to let NASA know, so that they would be prepared for an avalanche of phone calls.

Election fever hit the village with a large loud speaker bump. The incessant campaigning took its toll on the peace and tranquillity of the village; it was hard to miss the cars driving up and down the touting their policies at full volume. Hopefully things will return to normality now that the results of the 25th are known.

Jose Maria is well underway for the opening in July of his new restaurant En Primera Linea, close to La Parrilla on the beach front. He will be serving a mixture of high quality food and evidently the most amazing pizzas on the beach. With the opening of El Ancla next door, this will definitely be the hot spot for the summer. The new owners of El Ancla are Andy and Fiona. Andy is an accomplished chef and Fiona has lived in Spain for many years.

A sharp increase in the number of break-ins and thefts in the area is somewhat alarming. The Guardia Civil urge everyone to be vigilant and report anything they might deem as suspicious.

It seems La Herradura is becoming popular with film crews. Channel 4's A Place in the Sun has been contacting estate agents in the area with a view to their next programming schedule. La Herradura Property Management could be one of those featured. Graham, David and Lisa have also been in close contact with a German film crew, who are coming out to shoot for the entire month of October. So all you budding young actors watch this space for the call for extras! Antonio is already stocking up on his German beer for their arrival!

The palm tree islands are appearing everywhere. The first was the one in the river bed, close to the Gaviota - the purpose of this being two-fold: a) it looks attractive b) to stop the caravans illegally parking in the summer. Then halfway along the beach, possibly because they had started and had a few trees left over. Bets are on as to the placement of the third since as we all know things do come in threes.

Finally, we may have scored 'null points' but there's no one better at an 'I will survive' karaoke rendition than the Brits in La Cochera! Maybe next time we should just send Lisa. That's all for this month folks.

Well, Nerja must be happy with the Mayor's past work because he has been re-elected with a crushing absolute majority. Jose Alberto Armijo's party obtained no fewer than 10 of the 17 council posts.

The construction of Nerja's sewage treatment plant will begin before the year is out. After many unfulfilled promises, this year will finally see the damned thing started. Just under 20m euros will be spent so that you won't have an unforeseen reunion with your breakfast as you float among the waves off any of Nerja's beaches. But don't hold your breath, or bowels, folks because even if the building does begin on time, it won't be finished before the end of 2005. After Nerja the, only AxarquÌan coastal towns still in need of a sewage treatment plant are Torrox and Algarrobo.

El Palacio del Apero in Frigiliana has opened an exhibition for archaeological enthusiasts. Visitors can view nine tombs from the 7th and 6th centuries BC, which were discovered near the Cortijo de Sombra,'next to the Nerja road. The remains were left by the indigenous population in direct'contact with the Phoenicians colonies - a fact illustrated by the presence of Phoenicians artefacts in the burial chambers. It's also worth looking around the palace itself, which is now the village's Casa de Cultura. The palace is well preserved and conserves its original 16th century decoration.

If you've got a son or daughter who is cluttering the sitting room and uncluttering your wallet, this could be of interest for you. If you've got parents who are never happier than when they are standing between you and the TV and whose wallet is not on speaking terms with your social life, this is also of interest for you: All those who are between 16 and 24 and are officially unemployed can put their name down for a trade training college. (nueva ecuela taller de Nerja). You get a wage whilst you are learning. Bricklaying, gardening, plumbing and carpentry are some of the trades included in this scheme. To put your name down, present yourself along with your DNI at the INEM (unemployment office) at Plaza de La Marina de Nerja.

Work progresses on the new square which is being built on top of the town's main underground car park. Yet, Chaos - the twin sister of 'Planning' - also has her hands full organising traffic disruption, dust storms and squeezing boisterous dumper trucks down reluctant streets. Never mind - it should look nice when its finished, which is probably what the Israelite slaves thought, as they laid the first stone of the Great Pyramide.

Big Al was busy being busy when the Ed popped in to see him. Big Al had managed to corner a plate of busy food and was set to convert it into 'Big Al' outer covering, when he was confronted by a grinning idiot with a Seaside Gazette business card. "I spoke with you on the phone last month but you were busy preparing the 'Curry House' for opening," said the Ed. Big Al sighed, as did the plate of busy food, and said, "I still am busy I'm afraid, cuz I've got to open the 'Curry House up in five minutes." He put down his knife and fork and the plate of food started to relax and think about an autonomous future. "No prob, "said the Ed, "I'll come back later in the month." Big Al looked grateful, the knife and fork grinned sadistically and the busy food started to say its prayers. "Seems a nice enough bloke," thought the Ed, "I'll give him a decent write-up next month, when he's not so busy."

Has Burriana beach changed, or what? Eighteen odd years ago there was just a dirt track, yet now you could be walking down Fuengirola beach front - but nicer. Burriana is everything but Spanish, though. Most people along the sea front vary from white to pink in skin colouring and you get the impression that if you were to speak to anybody in Spanish you would get stones thrown at you and be told to 'shoo!' There's a lovely little garden-cum-park, complete with a cascade. There is also a notice telling you to bugger off somewhere else with your defecating quadropeds because squatting cannines are not welcome! Well, Burriana Beach works - there's no doubt about that. It might be a sunnier version of Brighton rather than the beach where local fisherman used to grill sardines over a bed of hot coals and stare incredulously at the odd foreigner, but it's tidy, organised and very popular.

There is no doubt about it: Nerja is the jewel of the eastern Costa de Sol. Thousands of Europeans and Americans have chosen the town as their permanent or part-time place of residence. What makes it so popular is partly its privileged climate and its internationally well-known caves. The new motorway has given a new lease of life to the town and the business sector is extremely optimistic about the town's future. The discovery of the Nerja Caves back in 1959 signalled the town's launch as a tourist sector and according to the latest figures, half a million tourists visit the caves each year. The foreign population is huge and influent - 40 percent of the town's housing is owned by foreigners and used as full or part-time residence. In fact, one of the demands made by the foreign community is for a second post office in the Capistrano area. The lack of new building land is pushing up prices, so there is also strong pressure to provide more land for building to bring the prices back down and within reach for locals first-time owners. The building and tourist trade have taken over from agriculture as the prime earner for the town. Only 10% of the population now work the land. The average small holder or farmer is over 45 years old. All the younger generation flock to the building sites where work is easier and better compensated. Golf, of course, is the by-word. The small businesses association - there are 1,500 commercial premises in Nerja - is crying out for a golf course in the Tragalamocha area, where a million square metres of public land have been set aside for this purpose. Here are some figures that will speak for themselves concerning Nerja. Inhabitants: 17,186 (it is calculated that a further 5,000 no registered inhabitants exist). Municipal extension: 85.12 sq./kilometres. Shore line: 14,5kms. Full time residences: 8,000 and part time residences 6,000. Urbanizaciones (housing estates): 78, all of which are predominantly occupied by foreign residents... Hotels and pensiones etc: 60. Hotel and pension/hostal beds: 6,500. Real estate offices: 40. Town budget: 20,213,574.41 euros.

José and Jaime came to blows! Two kids in a playground, perhaps? No, folks, we're talking about José Miguel Jimena, a PP councillor for Nerja and the ex-socialist councillor, Jaime Hernández. The two decided to mount a 'Street Fighter II' exhibition in the street because Jaimito had reported Joselito to the authorities over an alleged building infraction involving the PP councillor's cortijo. It all started when José went skipping off to the beach with his family when he bumped into Big Bad Jaime. It started off as an argument but ended up in shoving and blows. Being politicians they both went down to the health clinic - not because their lives were in danger but to make sure that their corporeal damages were officially noted. Then they both skipped off down to the Guardia Civil with their medical notes in hand to mutually report the other for the aggression. Apparently, José Jimena, as partner of the Río Seco S.L. company, was accused on the 17th of March by Jaime Hernández of not abiding to the Urban Planning Regulations concerning the minimum area permitted (5,000sqm) for the construction of a house on rural land. Sr. Jimena states that he is quite at ease over the affair and that he invites anybody to go up there and have a look for himself. He further added that it was all obviously timed to coincide with the May local elections. Sr. Hernández was unavailable for comment up to the date of the writing of this article.

The Nerja Lions Club celebrated its 25th Anniversary in grand style at the Hotel Balcón de Europa on May 10th. It was an evening that will be remembered as having been organised to perfection, with 80 people present. There were short witty speeches and wonderful food; great music and dancing in an atmosphere that left nothing to be desired. In 1978, when the Nerja branch first opened, there were only 32 clubs in the whole of Spain. The founding president was a well-known Englishman called Sidney Wolek. Some of the more veteran residents in Nerja might well remember him. These 25 years have been dedicated to developing fund raising activities, one of the first of which was to provide the community's first ambulance. Presently, the club helps the Taller de la Amistad, which is a handicapped association for young people, and the Association for the Deaf & Mute. During the long period of the club's existence, it has always enjoyed excellent collaboration with the Nerja Town Hall through its councillors. The use of the Sunday Market is especially appreciated. Now the Nerja Lions Club is concentrating on the Weekly Friday Night Dance held at the Hotel Perla Marina from 20:00 till midnight. From the very first night this event proved itself to be very popular - a large ballroom to dance in, wonderful music, a dancing-type floorshow and a very warm and friendly atmosphere. The price of 12 euros includes a drink as well. The club invites the public to come and enjoy it with them. All proceeds go towards their work with the handicapped, underprivileged and local events in and around Nerja. Finally, the club would like to thank all who have contributed to making these 25 years very successful ones.