The Town Council has sacked the bus company that was originally going to carry out the Saturday night bus between La Herradura and Almuñécar. This was done because, according to the Town Council, they had not been carrying out the service as stipulated. The bus company that has been selected to replace them is Fajardo, which is the bus service that normally services the Rio Verde villages (Jete, Otívar and Lentejí). Juan Fajardo also provides most of the school buses and tourist runs to Hotel Salobreña, etc. We had a word with Juan and asked him about the night bus. He told us that the timetable would be 12.00 & 12.30 to Almuñécar and 04.00 & 04.30 coming back, which is a better service as it provides a realistic return time. No self-respecting teenager considered the previous 02.00 & 02.30 return time as realistic.

Juan Carlos Benavides celebrated his first 100 days in power and accordingly invited the press along to hear what he had to say on the occasion. His basic message was that in this short period his party had managed to unblock various building projects of public interest, i.e. the hospital and the educational infrastructure of Almuñécar and La Herradura. Amongst future plans he spoke of an underwater park, the Palace of Justice and the construction of flats for rent or sale, aimed at young, first-time-owners. He hardly mentioned the destruction of the Paseo del Altillo - how could he? He also announced his intention of presenting the new PGOU for voting, come February. He said that the old PGOU, "was widely rejected by the town's inhabitants," which is the first that we have heard of it. It's true that 'favoured' building companies didn't like it because it restricted their field of operation... and we have seen what building companies are capable of when they have the Council and municipal police backing them. He also pointed out that the point of friction between the Provincial Council for Tourism & Sport and the previous Town Council under the PP/PSOE coalition, has been resolved. The outstanding debt owed by the Town Hall to the said provincial council will be considered 'paid off' if Almuñécar invests the same amount in sports equipment. It is a point worth stating that the Chairwoman of the Provincial Council for Tourism & Sports is none other than Sr. Benavides' wife.

Every 4 years there is world conference on the avocado. This year the V Congreso Mundial del Aguacate took place in Torremolinos. It was to include a visit by the participants (over 1,000 people from over 30 countries) to Almuñécar, where they were to be escorted around the vega (plantations). They were also to be wined & dined in a marquee at the football stadium. 9 days before this visit, our mayor informed the organisers that the town could not afford the expense of hosting such a visit. José Antonio Bustos, who is one of the organising committee, lamented that Almuñécar could not take part in the congress, especially as it was the first time that it would be held in Europe. He pointed out the Spanish committee, after much effort, had managed to have Spain accepted as the next venue during the last congress in Mexico. Although Torremolinos was chosen as the host town, Almuñécar was proposed as the site, as it is considered 'the cradle of the avocado in Europe.' Torremolinos was finally accepted because of its proximity to an international airport and the capacity of its 'Palacio de Congresos' building. A spokesman for the committee accused Juan Carlos Benavides of waiting to the last moment to announce that Almuñécar couldn't take place, when the 4,000 brochures were already printed and distributed, for example. Bustos considers it a vast pity because it would have been an excellent occasion to promote Almuñécar on a world basis. Finally he pointed out whereas the previous mayor, Juan Luis González gave full support for the world congress and earmarked a 12,000 euros budget for the event, Sr. Benavides has limited himself to 'sweeping it under the carpet.' Málaga and Granada produce between them 90% of the national avocado production and Granada's Valle Rio Verde, (to which Almuñécar belongs), is probably the most productive area in the whole of Spain.

The General Secretary for Public Works and Transport for the Regional Government, Josefina Cruz made the following comment, "The excess of cement on the coast is pan para hoy and hambre para mañana." The literal translation is, 'Bread for today and hunger for tomorrow,' which is self explanatory and requires no interpretation. She said this at a press conference where she unveiled the latest scheme by La Junta de Andalucía to check building abuses along the coast. The Junta has set up an office, which will co-ordinate with the local police and Guardia Civil to inspect construction sites and ensure that they keep within the PGOU (General Ordenance for Urban Planning). This effectively creates an 'urban development police' that will watch over green belt land, paying special attention to building projects that might encroach on the 500 metre no-building zone along the shoreline, (It is forbidden to build within 500 metres of the coastline). They can also intervene when public spaces are threatened, such as parks and gardens. There is cause for lament on two points: 1) the law is not retrospective and 2) the law was not in force in time to save El Paseo del Altillo. The Costa Granadina runs for 82kms and represents 8% of the Andalusian coast.

The Almuñécar branch of the PSOE has finally disintegrated, which is a pity but not unexpected. In effect what has happened is that the Federal Committee of the party in Madrid has ordered the suspension of the 4 executive members of the local branch. What brought this on? To understand the situation better, it is necessary to go back over four years. Antonio Rebollo, (the then leader of the Almuñécar PSOE), against the wishes of his provincial bosses made a pact with the PP to form a coalition and thus keep Juan Carlos Benavides out of power, even though Benavides had pulled the most votes in the elections. If you speak to any PSOE voter, and indeed just about any citizen of the town, regardless of who he votes for, you will be told that Antonio is probably one of the best politicians that we have. He put his town before his party and got the chop for it. Now he's sat there like the discredited Churchill of the mid 30's. In these last elections, knowing what happened to Antonio, his hitherto companions in the party, (Jesús Palacios, Miguel Jesús Sánchez, Rafael Lamelas & Miguel Díaz), urged their candidate for mayor, Rocío Palacios, to renew the pact and keep Benavides out, as he had again pulled the majority of votes. She wouldn't hear of it. The local executive, determined to be heard, threatened to resign en-block, if she didn't do what those who had put her in power wanted. She didn't. In fact, when the voting in session for the investiture of the new mayor came about, minutes before the voting took place, Juan Luis González (PP) offered her the mayoralty with the backing of his 7 seats (she had only 3). She refused and reportedly begged him not to publicly offer her the top chair because she would have to publicly refuse it. The party was rendered asunder. Many PSOE voters, when asked, swore that they would never vote PSOE again - what for? Those elected listen to Granada and Madrid and not to Almuñécar. So now the Almuñécar PSOE has a head with no body or possible electorate. But on the books in Madrid the PSOE here still exists and that's the important thing. Where it has been convenient for Madrid in this huge game of political chess, local PSOE branches have made pacts with all sorts of unlikely partners - including the PP. Asked whether the dismissal of her colleagues 'hurts' her, even on a personal level, she replied, "I'm not hurt at all. Let each one be responsible for his own actions. The base (local PSOE supporters) doesn't support them - they couldn't even find anybody to help them mount a party bar in the town fair." What Rocío ignores is that there are no PSOE supporters left.

The Guardia Civil arrested a young lad for stealing his neighbour's goodies because he felt envy and could not obtain the items himself. The police found the stolen items in his house. How the kid expected to keep a stolen Kawasaki 1100 motorbike, amongst other things, quiet just a door or 2 away from its rightful owner is an act of faith. Perhaps he couldn't resist the urge to start it up?

Laderas de Castelar nearly got what they asked for. If you're wondering where that is, it's up the San Sebastian road, past the Santa Cruz School, where the new building estate has gone up on the left. For months the road divided there between an asphalted lane with raised man-hole covers to dodge and the other lane, whose surface would make any off-road instructor cringe in fear. The locals there were worried that the central island would have something completely unsuitable built upon it, so they requested that it be made into a park. The area is lacking either a play area for kids, hence a play park or alternatively, parking spaces. The Town Council decided that they would erect a raised garden with suspiciously familiar and bedraggled palm trees. The result will be pretty but neither a place for kids to play or nor somewhere to park a car. Never mind.

60 town hall workers will be receiving office skill courses. The courses are financed by the National Employment Agency. The first one was for an I.T. course. The courses will comprise 30 classes spread over 3 afternoons a week. The best bit is that 15 of them will be receiving 20 hours of English classes so that they can totally ignore you in English, too! What's the incentive? They will receive days off for the hours of free time that they invest in the course. It's not bad, is it? You get free classes, extra days off and find out how to access porn on the Internet, just for having to put up with an English teacher for 20 hours. Where do I sign up?

We can believe it when we see it. Miguel Ávila, (Vice-Mayor) says that we should see the recommencing of the building work on the new hospital or medical clinic on the P4 by mid December. If that is the case, then within 20 months there will be an opening ceremony for a brand-new hospital. It's not the bricks and mortar that will take the time, but the paper and ink for the interminable paperwork and red tape.

Lovely winter is here at last. The first rains have fallen and the countryside is extremely grateful, however, the new roads are not. The Otivar Road, finished in haste, will probably soon align itself with the bottom of the valley. Although it is wider than the original road, it is, in some aspects, far worse. We now have a mindless unbroken white line all the way from Jete to Otívar, effectively making illegal all the usual overtaking stretches that have been used since the 50's, when it was built. One particular bend is tighter than the original and has an inclination that throws the unwary off the side.

The Town Council is farming out a contract for the running/exploitation of the Peña Escrita Mountain Park. Whoever takes on the park will have to sign a contract for 15 years with a possibility of a 5-year extension. The park has, at the moment, 5 log cabins, giving accommodation for 36 paying guests. Each cabin is fully furnished and equipped (bedding & kitchenware). The Council intends to amplify the accommodation offer by one cabin or cortijo per year during the term of the lease. Once the park has undergone the present building reforms and repair and is open again to the public, it will remain open 365 days of the year. The only part of the park that will be open according to the season, is the open-air swimming pool, for obvious reasons. If you take it on, you have to pay 1,500 euros a month (18,000 euros per year) to the Council, pay the water & electricity, running maintenance and repairs and keep the canteen bar open from morning to evening. If you are interested, please see a doctor.

Hotel Sol Meliá was the venue for the Yamaha Scandinavia Show, and 250 people gathered for the occasion. On show (to the chosen few) were bikes, quads and even boats, all laid out in the hotel foyer. No fewer than 5 coaches brought the participants to what amounted to a private function. According to Manuel Sola, the Commercial Manager of the hotel, Almuñécar was chosen because the hotel is on the beach and right next to a dry riverbed, which was ideal to try out the bikes and quads. Half a dozen lorries brought the Yamaha machines to the hotel. Yamaha Scandinavia only invited the press from Denmark, Sweden, and Norway that are specialised in this subject.

Prices of houses and flats have rocketed - we all know that. One of the most important factors is probably the influx of foreigners buying up property. It has been estimated that 3 out of every 10 houses that have been bought on the Spanish coast have been bought by foreigners. And that figure is for 2002, so you can just imagine what 2003 has been like. The demography of Almuñécar is changing rapidly - some say too rapidly. It's happened before: you need only compare Torremolinos of the 80's with the Torremolinos of the 60's described in 'The Drifters' by James A. Michener.

Anybody who had to head up the valley will have noticed the festive atmosphere of Torrecuevas. It was the Patron Saint's Day of the Barrio (La Virgen Madre) and the III Fiesta de la Chirimoya - not that there is anything to feel festive over, as far as the health of the chirimoya industry goes, at the moment. Games and the Hispanic equivalent of 'Knees Up Mother Brown' were the high points of the fete. The dance band that was charged with lifting the spirits of the occasion was Niagra, but you can't help feeling that 'Viagra' would have had more chance of success.

The business director of La Caja Rural and Benavides closed a deal in which the Council would receive a helping hand of 3.2m euros. These funds are to provide financial backing for the building of the P4 secondary school, the La Herradura infants school and the building reforms to the existing secondary school in the same village. It is foreseen that the schools mentioned should be ready for the beginning of the 2004/05 school year.

Juan Luis González Montoro had the temerity to say the following, "It is lamentable that the PP (his party) was the most voted for party in the comarca (a local association of townships along the coast) and yet is not present in the governing body, as should be the case." It requires a considerable amount of 'mental gymnastics' to be able to make such a statement, when you owed your position as mayor to a pact that prevented the most voted for political force in town - the PA - from taking power. In the last elections, Benavides' party won 10 seats, whereas the PP won 7 and the PSOE got 4. Juan Luis proposed repeating the alliance, which would have given them the majority of seats. Undoubtedly, the Paseo del Altillo would still be standing today, if the PSOE hadn't refused to make the alliance, so for that reason, if not for any other, it's a pity that it didn't come about.

Roció Palacios, the leader of the (semi-defunct) socialist party has called for an investigation into the death, at the hands of US troops, of the Telecinco cameraman, José Couso, during the Iraq War. While it is heartening to hear politicians speak out and demand an international enquiry - something that the Federal Government is trying its best to avoid - it seems ironic that she is concerned about international affairs, whilst her party falls apart around her ears. It seems to be case of, 'Let's talk about something distant so we can ignore what's under our noses.'

Almuñécar has had a stormy relationship with the Provincial Ministry of Public Works during the last few years over building infringements. In fact, 80% of official complaints and subsequent enquiries on the Costa Granadina, concerning unlawful construction projects, concern Almuñécar. Apart from the Paseo del Altillo, which is an article in itself, the Town Council and the Provincial Ministry are at loggerheads over the lifting of 'suspension of projects.' About 30 building projects were suspended by the previous Town Council, pending the new PGOU, yet as soon as the present Council came into power, it lifted the ban, without permission from the provincial authorities.

At first, nobody could believe their ears: a young lad had been attacked with a machete, in front of the main church. The 2 assailants ran off after dumping the machete in the litter bin at the bottom of the church steps. Wait a moment... people being attacked with machetes in Almuñécar's streets? Who would have believed such a thing? The town has always been relatively safe - compared with Granada, for example. Indeed, anybody who has lived her for a score of years will remember the case of the tramp that had his head caved in by a group of teenagers. Then, as now, everybody's initial reaction was, 'I don't believe it! - not in Almuñécar!' Between the 2 incidents have passed about 15 years without any cases of extreme violence. In this latest incidence, the police soon caught the culprit but had to let him go because the victim didn't want to press chances, as his assailant was a friend - some friend! The victim is on the road to recovery from his 7cm deep by 5cm wide wound. So, we suppose that we can feel ourselves lucky that we've only had one murder in 15 years and events, such as the latest one, still surprise us because of their rarity.

Chupito's Brief

Booming thunder and spectacular compositions of bolt lightning is nature's way of opening the door to the next season. Only nocturnal beings may have witnessed such a dramatic display of the changing climate in the occurrence of the great sea storms however, the effects of the urge to wander are distinctly apparent. Californian Lee disappeared again back to good ole Merseyside for the delights of the traditional Liverpudlian autumn (?) but not without leaving Bar Chupitos an amazing hamper of food goodies! Also back in the green English pastures Shirley is recovering from an eye operation but is now awaiting an arm operation. well I guess it's a grand idea to get everything fixed in one shot J.

Galloping back to the wonders of the tropical climate are Bob and Carol eager for un poco de sunshine and further afield, Tomas drove back from Denmark on his oh so lustfully ultimate BMW bike and arrived in style on Bar Chupitos' doorstep. Well done my friend, fine choice - hee hee!

Patrick and Noli returned from a great summer trek driving up through Scandinavia to Lapland and cruising back along the Norwegian coastline. This proved to be a winner on the fun scale but after a lengthy session of 101 questions with Patrick; firstly, I realised journalism is quite an art in terms of interrogation. Secondly, my romantic visions of Christmas penguins and Santa's sledge with reindeers were not only dampened but drowned entirely, as they spent most of the time driving and the landscape was not interpreted as dramatic and there were no penguins, Christmas sleighs or Santa's elves because it was actually summer there!

Despite this, there is great news about a cute new face. Sharon and Sergio's baby was born: Martina. A great relief I believe after 26 hours labour! Many Congratulations from all your Almuñécar friends!

Another new face, creating a buzz of excitement around town without yet being seen, is the invisible man (?) No! Of course it is the arrival of a fabulous singer, Michael Grace, Devon lad and lassie Mark and Jane's son. This will no doubt boost the music scene in the coming rainy season and we all await with great anticipation to hear the splendour of his vocal tones! Also new on the music scene as plugged last month is the charming Swedish band 'The Wanabees'. This month their funky jazz sound enticed the crowds at Bar Chupitos with smiles and a tapping toe to many favourite cover songs and a couple originals and they are leading the way again on November 14th , so pop down for some soulful nourishment and body nourishment with lashings of hot tapas…EVERY Friday!

On a cottage scale of artistic creations, Wilma, with great relief, has finished her children's book and I am proud to announce that I have completed some glass painted Christmas candle lights to sell in the local book and craft shop: Kasbah, so if you need some unique Christmas goodies, pop in for a gander. Must dash before the bewitching hour of the sun rising sun…

La Herradura authorities are demanding that Granada does something about the old Guardia Civil post, which was situated in the castle/tower. They point out that there is scarce police presence in the village, especially since the end of summer. At present there is only a patrol that is sent out from Almuñécar, which is far from sufficient for a population that is spread over such as wide area: Marina del Este, Punta de la Mona, La Herradura village, the Rio Jate Valley and Las Palomas. At least during the summer there was a provisional office, even if it was during the morning only. Now it's a 12km round trip into Almuñécar, if you need to carry out any paper work with the Guardia Civil. La Herradura has always had a Guardia Civil post, even when the population was much smaller, so it is paramount that something is done about the affair... and now. This very singular Guardia Civil post that occupied part of the village castle, which goes back to the reign of Carlos III, was evacuated 2 years ago, when part of the roof gave way. The police staff had been warning the authorities for years that the building was in a state of disrepair and badly needed something done.

The Almuñécar & La Herradura Council has drawn up a project for a new paseo (promenade) and has ordered that the contract conditions be prepared for both the paseo and its planned underground car park so that the project can be put up for bidding. The paseo will be financed by the coastal authorities. The car park, however, will be financed by the Town Council. The village according waits with trembling anticipation to see what unlikely construction will be foistered upon them this time. Instead of a wooden paseo, will we have a rubber one? As long as it doesn't look like the Almuñécar's Paseo del Altillo in its present state, we should be grateful.

It's a shambles and a reason to have any parent pulling their hair out at the incompetence of the successive town councils. It has been a long time demand of the village to have a secondary modern school in the village, so that kids don't have to make the daily trip over to Almuñécar. The problem goes back to when the LOGSE (educational reforms) came into being, which effectively moved the 12 to14-year olds out of the junior school into secondary school. Many parents all over Spain were against this new measure that meant that 12-year olds would have to travel from their small villages to the larger towns where the secondary schools are. In La Herradura a compromise was reached and the junior school would be adapted to cater for the new educational needs of the 12 to 14-year olds (1 & 2 ESO). It was only meant to be a 'patch' or temporary measure. The years passed but nothing was done to remedy the situation. In recent years the project to build an extension to the junior school, providing 4 extra classrooms has been bandied about. At the beginning of the year it seemed certain that work would begin and conclude during the summer holidays, so that the kids could start the 2003/04 school year in adequate educational conditions. It was not to be. The building company that had won the contract refused to start work at the end of June, as was foreseen, until they had received some guarantee that the funds were available. Subsequently, work did not begin until the beginning of August with a termination date well into the first term. The parents association has been very patient, for there is little that they can do. If they go on strike, it will only be worse for their children's education. So here we are, half way through the first term, and these 12-year olds have to use the junior school in the evening, because the school cannot provide simultaneous classroom space. The classes begin at 16.00 and finish at 21.00, which is one hour less than the norm. On top of that, lanky 14-year olds are expected to squeeze under desks and perch on top of ridiculously small chairs designed for 6-year olds. The situation is pathetic and all measures taken to date amount to one 'patch' on top of another. La Herradura needs a secondary school for kids from 12 to 16... and they need it now. And we're not only talking about a classroom with sensible desks and chairs - we're talking about all the necessary material and equipment. They need a gym and a schoolyard, which are two fundamental things that are lacking at the moment.

The Ruthless Crew of El Ancla! It's true, so we have to admit it: Jonathan, Jean & Katie are Ruthless. Regardless of what we said in last month's issue there is no Ruth amongst them. God knows where he got it from, but the Ed could have sworn that somebody had told him that there was a Ruth somebody or other working with them. We apologise! Anyway, things seem to be working 'full steam ahead' at El Ancla with hardly a moment to reflect upon their good fortune on finding El Ancla popular and that they have so many friends & customers... and even friendly customers. They would like to express their gratitude within these lines to all those that have helped them set up the business: people that have given advice and hours of their own time, literally scrubbing out, swabbing down and running about. So, it's a big thanks to you all - and you all know who you all are! So, what's on offer? The menu seems to offer an array of goodies that will put the persistent rumour that 'there is no such thing as British cuisine' to flight. There are home made steak and onion baguettes, decent Cheddar and Branston Pickle sandwiches, Lincolnshire sausages, Chilli con Carne with 100% Irish beef, New Zealand lamb chops, hashbrowns and kippers. And to wash it all down? Guinness and Strong Bow cider on tap, plus a long et cetera. So, there's an excellent chance to give your stomach and bladder a run for their money. There is satellite TV with Sky Sports for the sports junkies amongst you. Summing up: Nice people & nice food tucked away in a nice little village.

La Herradura Insiders

Confused? So were we. The dismantling of the crane at the entrance to the village caused the road to be closed for the day and traffic was re-directed. This meant that incoming traffic was sent down Acera del Pilar towards the beach and anyone wishing to leave either had to use the dry river bed or go through the Punta causing much waving of arms and scratching of heads.

A new bar has emerged underneath edificio Princesa. It is in the process of being reformed and of course we will keep readers informed of when it is due to open.

La Parilla will be closed in November for refurbishment and decorating.

Bar Christina, opposite the main supermarket, has long been lingering in the shadows of the building site which is now Oasis de la Cañada. Now that all the owners have the keys to their apartments the bar has become a hive of activity being frequented by owners and holidaymakers alike, making Pepe a very happy chappie.

The residents of the Punta de la Mona held their community meeting in the Hotel Almijara in October. The main bone of contention is how to stop the Punta being overwhelmed by building work and the disappearance of so called Green Zones.

Beware if you park outside the banks on the beachfront just to nip in for a minute. The Policia Local has taken to stopping, jumping out and issuing a parking ticket in double quick time then disappearing faster than the money in your account.

Last month we reported an incident where an overloaded lorry shed some of its wares on the road. This month an eyewitness reported a van carrying corrugated roofing deposit two sheets of the aforementioned onto the road. The items hit the two cars behind the van and landed on the road when a third vehicle, a school bus full of children, could do no more than run over them causing the bus to slew across the carriageway. So we can conclude that it is fine to carry loads inadequately restrained in your vehicle but God forbid if your paperwork isn't correct.

The Nerja History Group had its first meeting of the new season on Friday 3rd October with a turnout of forty members, some old and some new. It was a truly international group with representation from Denmark, Norway, Germany, Scotland, Ireland, England, Netherlands, Austria, Switzerland and Spain. It was a most interesting and informative session and was split between Federico Garcia Lorca's Granada (talk given by member Tom Bryson), and the Fiestas and Ferias of Andalucia (talk given by resident lecturer Dorothy Price). The group meets on the first Friday of every month and the new venue of the International Club, C/San Juan 42, Nerja, allows everyone to have comfortable seats with refreshments on site. The next meeting of the group will be held on Friday November 7th at 10.45am with the subject being Historical Jaén. The cost of the talk is 6 euros and a visit to Jaén to view places of interest related to the talk, will take place the following Friday on 14th November. New members are always welcome and for more information, please contact: Sue Harvey, Co-ordinator, 952 52 73 47 or e-mail to sueharvey@tiscali.es

WH Smiffs, the Nerja book and card shop, is launching a short story competition to unearth new writing talent in the area. The prize fund for the competition, which has a closing date of January 30th for entries is in excess of a thousand euros. Three leading authors have been recruited as judges and will take part in the awards evening in Nerja next March. The identity of the judges is being kept under wraps until next month. "The idea came out of the success of the Macallan Short Story Competition developed by my previous employer, Scotland on Sunday newspaper," said Rob Stokes at Smiffs. "This is smaller beer, but it's still a sizeable competition for the Nerja area, and we hope to develop it in years to come if the response is good." Rob said consideration would be given to publishing a book of selected entries if the number and quality were strong enough. Entry forms are available at the store. The competition in association with Nerja Essential magazine and Sunshine Radio International 99.1FM marks Rob and his wife Elspeth's second anniversary at the store. The traditional Smiffs' Christmas Fayre is also being held on Saturday, November 8th when the store at C/Almirante Ferrandiz 10 will have extended, all-day opening from 10am to 8pm for browsing stock and to enjoy a bit of seasonal cheer as usual. "These days, we stock a good range of bestselling paperbacks and hardbacks all year round," said Elspeth. "But although the shop's a different beast from when we took over, we like to keep traditions going. It's a chance for a get together and it allows us to say thank you to all the great customers who have supported our efforts to give books a higher profile." A brochure of Smiffs' Christmas Books ideas will be available.

The competition to find tenders to restore the frescos in the Ermita de Nuestra Señora de las Angustias was a complete flop: there was only one bidder and the project that he submitted did not conform to the specifications issued by the town hall. The budget for the restoration work is 61,272 euros. So, the Council are going to have another bash at it. Budding artists, qualified painting & works of Art restorers and colour blind time wasters should apply to the town hall... now.

How did your fiestas go? The town hall reckons that they went superbly - but then again, they would say that, wouldn't they. José Miguel García, who is the Delegated Councillor for Fiestas, says that 30,000 people visited the fair ground and casetas. He pointed out Nerja's radioactive youth collectively behaved well and didn't set light to tourists, rape anybody's dog or vomit in an offensive manner... very much. The mayor said that he was particularly pleased that a group of people from Nerja in Argentina took part in the celebrations.

The Provincial Delegate for the Environment, Ignacio Trillo presented a new project entitled the Maro-Cerro Gordo Cliffs, which is part of the Life 2004 project for the preservation of the biodiversity of the natural park. The duration of the project will be 36 months, starting from October 04 until September 07. With a budget of 1,355,934 euros (75% funded by EC), the project will cover some 65 hectares of the 1,815 that the park comprises. Sr. Trillo pointed out that the park's biggest enemy is illegal fishing: both sport and commercial. Some of the objectives of the project are to bring about the elimination of the use of drag nets and prevent boats from anchoring so that the underwater posidoia oceanica meadows can recuperate.

Talking of the Cliffs of Maro, a Brit's camper van went up in smoke. He and his family were down on the beach when the fire started. Volunteer firemen managed to put the blaze out quite quickly.

26 applicants applied for the 14 local police posts available. Only 18 of them were accepted as the remaining 8 either, presented their application forms too late; did not have a vicious enough character; were capable of reading & writing, [which makes them dangerous intellectuals] or weren't able to swagger in a convincing manner.

A piece of senseless history for you: in 1591, this month, a licence was granted to Juan Boines to build a sugar factory in Nerja. This was granted under the condition that he also built a fortified tower for the protection of the locals against the Barbary Pirates - otherwise known as North African tourists on away-day rape and pillage excursions.