They've got to be kidding. Unfortunately, they're not!

As promised, we have been looking into the proposed Hotel Playa Cotobro and we're not impressed. In fact, who could possibly be in favour of such a 'blot on the landscape'? Five floors, if you count the ground one, reaching nearly 17 metres in height, right there - right on the corner, as you come to Cotobro. The architect's report says, 'a beautiful unspoilt location for a hotel...'

Will the Almuñequeros (Spanish and foreign) finally get their act together and effectively protest about it, or will this be another Paseo del Altillo - lots of moaning in private but no co-ordinated and effective opposition?

Apart from everything else, we are probably talking about just another dream hotel that sleeps when we most need it.

History and Hitches - The Facts
Really, you have to go back to 97/98 to understand the situation. At that time, all the political parties here agreed that the town needed hotels, not only that - good ones. The PSOE suggested that any land that was apt for development but had not been built upon already, should be investigated as possible hotel plots. The only requirement was that it should be reasonably close to the beach. Everybody thought that it was a good idea, so a survey was carried out. One of the sites looked at, for example, was in front of the Aquatropic water park along Velilla, which was later rejected by the provincial authorities because the land had a 'leisure' label - there used to be a go-cart course on it. Another unlikely place was the small parking area-cum-compound along Avenida Don Juan Carlos I, not far from Rio Verde School. Anyway, around 13 sites were considered, some of which were later used (e.g. Sol Meliá). Amongst the 13 possible sites was one in front of El Peñon del Gato (the rock on the last bend before Cotobro). At present there is a small bungalow with a reasonably sized garden. In the 1987 PGOU this construction was officially recognised 'fait accompli' as residential land. The owner, in the mid 90's was planning to build three small houses on his land... gleefully! He was not a happy bunny when his land was selected. You see, as soon as your land is considered a possible hotel plot, you cannot do anything with it, which is what happened in his case in 1998. Everything is frozen, building-permission wise, until they decide one way or the other. If your land is finally designated as 'of hotel use only,' you can only sell to a hotel, and if none are interested - well, that's just hard luck. One such plot in Los Pinos has been in this limbo for nearly 10 years.

Going back to the Cotobro plot, it was initially approved by the town hall in 1998 and definitively approved 08/10/02. The architect for the scheme presented his project to the College of Architects on the 08/12/03. The architect, by the way, just happened to be the son of the future hotel owner. Now they would already be building this five-storey structure, if it were not for the parking problem. Present building legislation requires that there is one parking space per 150sqms and as the hotel will have 3,665.65sqms, we're talking about 18 parking spaces. But to be able to accommodate that amount of parking space, the basement parking will have to encroach on Ministry land! Which ministry? The Coastal authorities up in Madrid. The beach and beach road lie within strictly maritimo/terrestre, which means, you definitely can't build there. But beyond that, you have a strip called zona de servicios, which also belongs to Costas and requires permission to be used - and then, only under exceptional circumstances. In the case of the Paseo del Altillo, for example, the original plan did not contemplate the destruction of the gardens, and certainly not the road - it belongs to Costas as a zona de servicios, hence the long delay in the building work. In Cotobro, there is a 10-metre strip, on the other side of the garden wall, that belongs to Costas. Because of this 'hands off' strip, the hotel has to be squeezed into a very small surface area (552.80sqms). On the other three sides a 5m strip must be observed, as well.

Everything has been approved at municipal level and the only thing that is stopping the bulldozers moving in, is permission from Madrid to encroach - all be it, underground - on their land.

Points and Opinions
There is a feeling of incredulity over the whole thing. When most people hear of a possible hotel in Cotobro, they think of some idyllic hillside. So, when they hear where it is really going - eyes bulge! Some argue, of course, that when they allowed the existing apartment blocks to be built there, it was ruined anyway. Others, more cynical, think that the 'toffs are ruffled because they're loosing their exclusive playground.' If we set aside the aesthetics of having a 17m-high, 5-storey block sat squatting there and just concentrate on the practicalities of having such an establishment on that corner, you cannot avoid one conclusion - it will be chaos. This one-parking-slot-per-150sqm rule is for apartment blocks, really. It does not contemplate, say, 50 staff and as many guests, with their own transport. Yes, some guests will arrive by the coach load, but the staff won't. The municipal bus has difficulties manoeuvring there in the summer - imagine what a couple of tourist coaches will cause. Besides, where are they going to load and unload? The existing parking is sorely needed, so can we afford to have it commandeered by the hotel? These are the practical objections. As for the aesthetics... The architect said in his report that the setting was 'idyllic' and 'unspoilt.' Is that a reason to spoil it?

Unfortunately, nobody complained until it was too late, with the exception of ECCO, (the Cotobro neighbourhood committee) and one other.

The sad fact about Almuñécar is that, when there was a threat of urban encroachment in El Currumbico (Taramay), down the other end of town in Cotobro, nobody gave a damn (although there were exceptions). And now that it's Cotobro's turn, Taramay won't loose any sleep. Even when it was the very heart of town, as was the case of the Paseo del Altillo, many were indignant in private or over a beer. Yet, nobody actively got off their arses and made their feelings felt, (again - with exceptions).

The Seaside Gazette investigates and brings to your attention each one of these controversies and will continue to do so, until we get chucked off the patch by an irritated mayor, (whoever he might be at the time) beset by those of vested interest. Yet, we do so, half knowing that it's a waste of time because the foreign community - like the Spanish one, couldn't give a flying squat unless it affects their pocket or happens in their back garden. Sorry, I forgot that this is a light-hearted magazine! So let me rephrase that: these are the facts, decide for yourselves.

The Town Council has just signed a 'debt adjustment' with the Banco de Crédito Local allowing it to pay back a piffling 16m euros between now and 2028. What's more, the two opposition parties agreed, saying that it was 'a good arrangement.' From this month until 31st December 2007 we won't be paying off any capital. The monthly payments will be in the region of 180,000 euros. Most of the debt was acquired in 1990 (12m euros). The PP did just happen to ask how the council of that time (the PA under Sr. Benavides) managed to spend this amount in only two years.

Almuñécar and La Herradura are going to get a re-vamped street lighting system within the next couple of months. The town hall has received a grant in its collective grubby little hands from the Junta de Andalucía for the sum of 122,259 euros for this very purpose! This tidy sum, according to the High Priest of Tourism - a.k.a the Councillor for Tourism during daylight hours - represents 40% of the total costs of illuminating all our murky corners. So, where exactly will the vast lump of lux be installed? Calle Marqués de Montefuerte (eh?), Arcos de Derrumbadero, (The arch leading out of the corner of the town hall square), San José (eh?), Travesía de San José (eh?), Plaza del Teatro (hmmm?) Cuesta del Cántaro (eh?), plaza de los Higuitos (I know! I know! The square where Los Granos de Café is) and María de Molina (Bloody hell - that's where I live!). And as for La Herradura, only Calles Eucalipto and Canalejas will be included.

Apart from the new lights in the above streets, another 422,500 euros is being spent on lampposts on the Velilla, San Cristóbal and La Herradura paseos (seafront promenades). These new kind of streets lights are already in place of the Reina Sofía and Puerta del Mar paseos, as can be see in the photograph. All the new streetlights should be in place by Semana Santa.

El Castillo de San Miguel is going to have 166,000 euros spent on its west walls and the northwest tower. A company that specialises in this kind of restoration work, Javier Dávila S.L. will be working to the orders of Antonio Almagro and Antonio Orihuel, who belong to the School of Arabian Studies. Would you like to know something about the history of the castle? Sorry! Haven't got time. Adopt a vertical posture and ambulate thence, therefore.

Lentejí is mightily annoyed that the name of their village does not appear on the road signs, along with those of Jete and Otívar - there's no mention of it in Almuñécar or at the other end of the La Cabra road, where it joins the Granada motorway. It's not even mentioned on the new Jete/Ítrabo road on the bridge junction. "In these time of rural tourism development, for a village like Lentejí, with barely 300 inhabitants, at the top of the Rio Verde valley, good sign posting is essential for its development, growth and survival," says the mayor of the sign-post-less village. The mayor didn't mention, however, that there are two signs for the village just above Otívar, where the access road begins. These two signs, barely ten metres apart, have two different spellings: Lentejí and Lentegí. Both, according to the ex-mayor's wife, who runs one of the village's bars, are correct.

Our local branch of the PSOE (socialists) were left effecting digital-nasal excavations during the voting session in which it was demanded that the regional government should include Almuñécar's proposed law courts in the 2005 budget. The reason being, of course, was that the PSOE govern both in the regional and federal governments. Rocío Palacios, who is the leader of the party, justified voting against the proposal saying that "the funds were already allotted, but not in a provincial manner, and were pending required documentation from the town hall." Both the PP and the PA coincided - even though they normally have the synchronised capacity of seeing eye-to-eye as a Cyclops and a peacock. They both expressed surprise at her posture. The town's present law court arrangement is inadequate and antiquated. The proposed 'palacio de justicia,' which is to be built at the back of Urbanizacón Las Gondolas, within the P4, would rectify this deficiency.

The workers from the old Sol Meliá hotel, which is now run under the name Hotel Playa Almuñécar, have reached an agreement with the hotel owners. The hotel went ahead and closed on the 7th of November and will remain so until the 28th February 2005. However, the period of closure will coincide with the annual holidays and lay-off period of the 'fijos-discontinuos.' Seventy percent of the staff has this kind of contract which guarantees ten months of work a year, with two laid off. The workers are permanently on the hotels books, however. The hotel owners originally planned to commence this two-month lay off period once the hotel re-opened, meaning that the workers would be out of a job for a total of five months (three months whilst the hotel is closed, plus the two months lay off period.) So, the workers are happy, but the town is still faced with a winter without two of its major hotels. The Mayor appears to have backed off with his sanctions threat, on the understanding that this closure will not be repeated the following winter. The heat has moved away from this particular building and moved along to Cotobro, where the same company plans to build a hotel there. This, however, directly contradicts the hotel company's argument that they were forced to close because of economic considerations, as well as for building reforms. If they are short of money, because the town does not provide enough business, how can they be planning to build another hotel in Almuñécar?

Motril has not taken too kindly to Almuñécar being the location for the provincial Estación Náutica. This administrative office, which deals with all local coastal activities such as diving licences etc, is to be housed in the Palacete de la Najarra, which also houses the tourist office. "The Town Council of Motril will demand what rightfully belongs to it, namely the EN, which should be in Motril," said the spokesman for the Motril PP, (Partido Popular).

The Otívar Dam project is back in fashion! This on-going saga dates back at least 13 years. The Almuñecan PA, which governs in the town hall, proposes that the said dam be included in the regional 2004/2008 budget of the Actuaciones para la Gestión y Utilización del Agua (AGUA). The funny thing was that half a dozen years ago, money was received for the 'amazingly invisible' dam but these funds 'disappeared.' It was claimed that the money was used in other priority projects. This excuse - like the dam -doesn't hold water, however.

Over two hundred visitors and locals of pension age gathered on San Cristóbal beach to play petanca, which is an up-market version of 'marbles,' akin to bowls. Yes, you took your life into your hands venturing on the beach with all those cannon balls being thrown about. The winter influx of Spanish pensioners, battle it out with the Belgian and French pensioners on the beach, busily throwing their balls about in the sand. The nearby hotels are packed with these boisterous and belligerent bowling boys... and ladies. The French have never been happier since they have found something that they can win at! The Brits, who invented all the world's most popular games, only to be dicked at them by all and sundry, sensibly stay away.

What really displeases tourists - and hardly surprising it is - is canine excrement in the town's well-trodden streets. It wasn't the stones on the beach or the shops that shut every time you want to buy something - it was the bountiful output from our squatting quadrupeds that took first place in the hotel questionnaires. All hotels have them. 'What did you like most about your stay,' and what did you least like,' sort of thing. The town hall has taken note! From the beginning of last month, says the Councillor for the Environment, Jesús García, three inspectors shall be keeping a close watch on the anal activities of our mucky mutts. "The inspectors have permission to spy upon and persecute all those that infringe the law (by tingeing the floor) and impose fines of between 100 and 600 euros," promised the great man, adding, "we shall be inflexible!"

Hey! We're going to get new pavements down Avenida Costa del Sol and the Carrera. Well, really, Avenida Costa del Sol (the one that leads up to Costa Banana) doesn't have a pavement up the top half, anyway. Boy, has that avenue changed! It used to be Discotheque Alley back in the 80's - I should know, because I spent my time staggering out of most of them! There was Sidi-Pep's, which everybody referred to as 'Seedy-Pepe's. There was the Noa-Noa, Caribe and El Mango. Nobody wanted to live along that street in those days, until the mayor (who else but our Benny) bought a flat there and that was when it all went mysteriously quiet. This tree-lined avenue also used to be the main road, (N-340) where it passed through the town and there was a petrol station at the bottom - Time moves on, and so should this article, to the next...

A woman from town got a six-month's suspended prison sentence for falsifying her sister's signature, when she went on a 112,81 euros, spending spree. Mari José M.H. went to an electrical appliances store and took a hire-purchase agreement.

The way things are going Almuñécar could well be the coming location for the regional or national ornithological championships. The Mayor has been encouraging the Almuñécar Bird Club to apply for this post. He said that the town hall would support this petition, during the XV111 Concurso Ornitológico Ciudad de Almuñécar, which was held on the 30th October in the municipal indoor swimming pool installations.

Wow, this is sooooo interesting, isn't it? I bet you are, at this very moment, trembling with expectation, as you read down through these interesting lines. Ah, stop your moaning - at least you don't have to write the stuff! Let's liven things up. What about this...

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the Lone Ranger... Oh, that reminds me of a great joke. It's about how the Lone Ranger met his faithful companion, Tonto the Indian. Anyway, the Lone Ranger was riding along and he came to a crossroad, where he saw an Indian (Tonto) with his ear to the trail. "Howdy Injun, what are you up to?" asked our hero. "I'm listening to what's come this way and what has passed by," replied the native with the racist name. "Ger'away wi' ya," said the Lone Ranger, who still hadn't got rid of his Northern English accent, which he had picked up during a package holiday to Newcastle. Unperturbed, Tonto responded, "Look, for example, approx. 20 minutes ago, a stage coach with... I calculate... 4 passengers.... 160lbs of luggage... travelling at 30mph... passed this very way, travelling east." The Lone Ranger was amazed. "And you can tell all that by just listening to the vibration?" he asked, incredulously. "Na! It's just that the bastard drove right over my bleeding head, without stopping!" Anyway, where was I?

El Centro de Iniciativa Empresarial (CIE - which is behind Apartamentos Chinasol, along the return flow road - will have an official IT classroom, thanks to an agreement between the Town Council and the Fernando de los Ríos Open University. This course will be for Título de la Tarjeta Europea de Habilidades Informáticas, which is a certificate that is valid anywhere in the EU. Best you get your 'sitting pods/refuse evacuation unit' round there and sign up, as the course opened for applicants on the 23rd November.

A report issued up in Granada uncovered a massive and million-euro misuse of funds on our stretch of the coast... Not Almuñécar, surely? Oooooh I don't think that could happen here, do you? Great Lone ranger joke, by the way, wasn't it? Spoilt, you are! Alright, I'll get on with it (bloody slave drivers). The fiscal period closed at the end of 2002 and during the previous 10-year period the coastal towns received 1,792,158 euros for a total of 47 beaches. This was in the concept of grants for the improvement of beach installations and general maintenance. During this time, the PA held the provincial posts for Tourism. According to the investigating department, "in the proposals for equipment concession, there are no documents that justify the process used to evaluate petitions, nor any that show the criteria used to give priority to files." Some of the irregularities found were the 'admittance and awarding' of requests outside the official period and requests for equipment that wasn't necessary. In fact, no less than 83% of the requests for funds were made outside the permitted time bracket. Twenty-five beaches in Salobreña and Almuñécar have been inspected - and where 615,514 euros have been spent - and three anomalies have been discovered. In one case (where, was not specified) the 'equipment' was nowhere to be seen nor was there any plausible explanation as to its whereabouts. Which brings us onto the mayor of Almuñécar's wife...

Rosario González, who is Juan Carlos Benavides' wife, is being investigated and could face five years in prison. The public prosecutor's office considers that there is credible evidence of criminal activity in her case. Sra. González was the ex-Councillor for Tourism in Almuñécar and is the Provincial Delegate for Tourism in Granada. The leader of the PP in Almuñécar, Juan Luis González Montoro, asked the High Court of Andalucía to investigate the allocation of 180,000 euros in 1990 from provincial funds to the Almuñécar town hall. In other words, from the wife's official office to the husband's one. Accordingly in April 2003 a formal accusation was made by the prosecutor's office. Now, after over a year of investigation, the public prosecutor has decided to ask for a sentence of five years in prison and for the reimbursement of 27,000 euros that have not been accounted for. Oh dear me!

The Guardia Civil has dismantled a drug-smuggling ring that operated between Morocco and our coast. The police arrested six people, three of whom are from Almuñécar. No less than five tons of hashish was confiscated in a police operation that covered Almuñécar, Salobreña and Motril. The operation, which started taking shape six weeks before, was initiated thanks to a road traffic offence. A patrol of motorbike police stopped a van near the Barranco Enmedio bridge, because one of its headlights was not working. Much to their surprise... and joy, they found 1,700k of hashish in the back. When they went to arrest the occupants, one of them put a fierce struggle, trying to get hold of the policeman's service firearm. Shortly after this, thanks to information obtain, they raided two warehouses in Motril and Salobreña, where the rest of the drug was stored. The three Almuñequeros are: E.F.L and his wife, C.J.L and finally J.A.D.E (I bet!)

Good news for those of you who have cortijos out in the hills. The town hall will be collaborating with groups of cortijos to tarmac their access tracks. It will set aside 19,000 euros for this purpose. Cortijos owner, on the other hand, will have to finance the man-hours. So far, those benefitting are Cortijo, El Torcal, Las Lomillas in Río Seco, Cuesta de Cantlobos as far as Barranco Campana and finally Cortijo, La Vegueta in Torrecuevas.

Almuñécar's tourism sector is not happy with the taxi service that the town offers. The Asociación de Hoteleros y Comerciantes has submitted written complaints concerning failings of the duty taxi, which works on a rotor-system and charges in general.

A face lift for Taramay, which has received a monument as well as many street-name tiles, etc. The monument consists of a small rowing-boat in front of an imitation cortijo wall, complete with a mini-bell tower.

There's no doubt about it - you can cover one building infraction per month in the Rio Verde area. In fact, if you really went out and looked, you could find one per month in Almuñécar, alone. This month - apart from the Cotobro hotel scandal, which is being covered in another part of this month's issue - we have news that somebody is building there house right next to the Roman columbine, better known as the Torre del Monje (Monk's Tower). You can't miss it, because it is on the last of the two big bends before you get to Venta Luciano, on the Torrecuevas road. The monument, which was catalogued as 'of cultural interest' back in 1931, was built in the first century AD. (around 2,000 years old!). According to Spanish law Almuñécar, (in this case) should have a special plan for such monuments. The law also clearly stipulates that the immediate surrounding area cannot be altered. This indicates that the Town Council has slipped up in either of the two following ways: either they have granted building permission were they shouldn't have, or the Urban Surveillance System is a complete waste of space. In either case, the blame falls squarely upon the town hall. According to article 20 & 23 of the 16/1985 law, (25th June), concerning Spanish National Heritage the offending structure should be knocked down and the area restored to its original state... and pigs might fly!

The last time that the town hall had a major overhaul of their computer system was ten years ago - and you can imagine what has happened in the computer world since then! The Ed. remembers that Luis and Fernando, who both worked in the computer department, with its special climate and grumpy computer banks, told him that this baby was hot off the shelves. That was ten years ago. Now it's a relic of a bygone era. Neither of them works in that department now, and we imagine that the soon-to-be discarded computer system will miss them, as it's carted off for cyber euthanasia. Well, the town hall has just splashed out a hefty 234,320 euros on the leasing of a new one from IBM. "The new system, which should be operating within three months, will mean an important advancement for all the municipal offices," explained Miguel Ángel López Ligero, who is the Councillor for Silly Walks... Sorry I mean Councillor for Administrative Organisation. The old system, if you know anything about this sort of thing, was the AS400. Well, the town hall press release speaks of 'Twinax,' 'ThinClient,' and 'Citrix, which all sounds like it has something to do with dual, anorexic lemons, but will mean something completely different and might even be interesting to somebody else.

P-4 will soon see a nice, shiny block of council flats going up. In all this building will contain 48 flats of two or three bedrooms. These council houses are not like the British ones, which are let out. These ones are VPO's (Viviendas de Protection Oficial) and are offered to families with limited incomes for purchase, with a 20% discount.

Here's a good word for your Spanish vocabulary - butron. A butron is another word for a hole that is made in a wall, so as to be able to gain access and carry out a burglary. Well, butrones are all the rage here on the Costa Granadina, or the Costa Tropical, if you like. (The term Costa del Sol only corresponds to the Málaga coast). It wasn't that long ago that the petrol station on the way to Jete (Virgin del Agua) was rolled in this fashion. The owners turned up one morning and find a big whole in the back wall and very little else inside! Anyway, the police are warning all warehouse owners to be on the alert.

Crossing the line! Okay, I have to admit that if you ever even considered parking anywhere near a 'zebra crossing' in the UK, let alone on it, you would either be booked or shopped! Here, however, you eventually just accept that it is almost the norm, no matter how illegal it may be. This particular case in Almuñécar takes the biscuit! The driver has left the vehicle parked on two crossings at the same time! I did not at the time note what model it was, but had it been a Nissan Patrol, then I could have headlined this article 'Crossing Patrol'!

The Defender of the La Herradura chiringuitos has died. Joaquín Barbero Antequera will always be remembered for the fight that he put up to save the villages beach bars in the mid-eighties. He took on the all-powerful coastal authorities and finally managed to have most of the chiringuitos legalised. However, for long years Joaquín had been fighting against an illness, which had forced him to retire. He was the first and only Chairman of the Sindicato de Actividades de Playa. He also set up Chambao de Joaquín, which is now run by his son of the same name. Many famous faces visited his establishment, including Lola Flores, Andrés Segovia and Don Juan de Borbón (the now deceased father of the King of Spain).

Fifteen women from the village are taking part in a course on Social and Tourism Protocol, which is organised by the Asociación de Mujeres, Las Palomas de La Herradura. The theory work is being carried out in the Las Gaviotas primary school, whilst the practical side will probably be carried out at the Hotel Almijara, which has offered its installations.

Hundreds of lunatics from Germany, Switzerland and Holland have flocked to La Herradura to practice their favourite sport - throwing themselves off high places, suspended under an oversized handkerchief, in other words, paragliding & hang-gliding. With the nearby hills to launch yourself from and the long beach as a suitable landing strip, not to mention a juicy selection of sharp rocks, cactii and camper vans to plough into, La Herradura and Almuñécar offer the perfect place for this sport.

Right, I'm trying to figure out where this next report refers to. The description is, 'next to the bed of the Rambla de Espinar (the habitually-dry stream that runs down beside Acera de Pilar), next to the bridge that crosses the same and next to Edifício El Moral...' Well, you lot that live in La Herradura will know which bridge they are referring to - either the foot bridge or the main bridge by El Híper. Well, anyway, locals have reported that a building that is going up around there is occupying land that it shouldn't. "It surprises us that the construction company has not respected the alignment of Edifício Moral, as they have overshot at least a metre, which encroaches upon the pavement," says one local. As there has been a formal and written complaint, the town hall has had no option but to open up an investigation into the affair. If these things are spotted at the very outset of the problem, the town hall has little choice but to fine and accept a fait accompli.

There was a nasty accident near the Cerro Gordo tunnel at the very end of October, which was too late to make our November issue. It happened on the 29th and involved two lorries. An articulated lorry and a cement lorry collided during an over-taking manoeuvre. Fortunately, the two drivers were only hurt and nobody else was involved. The lorry, which was carrying a load of tomatoes, went off down the bank rolling about 100 metres, before ending up amongst the bamboo growing at the bottom of the gully. The drivers were able to climb into an ambulance under their own 'steam' so that they could be taken to Motril hospital for check ups. The tomatoes, however, were declared dead on arrival.

More than a hundred and fifty foreign children are distributed amongst the schools on the Costa Tropical (Granadina). Our coast, by the way, is officially La Costa Granadina, although for tourist-promotion purposes, it is also known as La Costa Tropical, to distinguish it from Málaga's Costa del Sol. Now, wasn't that interesting! Almuñécar, La Herradura and Salobreña have one 'specialised teacher' to cater for a total of 22 foreign kids, the majority of whom are from the EU. "Those that have most difficulty learning Spanish are the British children, because they have less 'necessity'. They are mostly understood and can get by with their own language," commented one of these specialised teachers. He continued, "the first year is very difficult for non-Spanish speakers, but it is not fundamental that they pass their exams. A year spent on adaptation is the norm. The important thing is that they integrate and learn the language."

Ooops! Firstly, I would like to apologise to the people of Kashmir for wrongly spelling their country as that soft, snugly, expensive material made from goats wool that we know as cashmere...

Secondly, I would like to rectify last month's information about the new kindergarten/ guarderia opening in La Herradura. It is actually a child-minding service to help working (or just tired!) parents at affordable prices. This is a commendable initiative as, to date, there has been a lack of childcare facilities in the village, with many children being turned away from the state guarderia, due to limited places. If you want to support this initiative, then any donations in the shape of old toys, art and crafts materials, or even furniture would be very welcome! For donations and/or more information on the service please call: Monica on 618 379 216.

At last, work has recommenced on the civic centre, thanks to an injection of 519,000 euros. Once the building is completed, it will house everything from the local police to a theatre. At present it stands in the typical 'estructura' form - in other words, floors and pillars without walls. However, as the project is basically financed with municipal funds, it probably won't be finish before the present legislature is up, i.e., May 2007.

A beautiful Galleon was sighted in the Cerro Gordo end of the bay on Monday night 22nd November. Could the pirates be returning to the Costa Tropical to retrieve buried treasure from many centuries ago? Quite possibly, but other rumours claim it was the Beck's Beer boat, used for publicity and such. Unfortunately the boat sailed away first thing the next morning before any more investigation could take place.

A new plaster and stucco work shop has opened on the C./ Alhambra. They have created some giant books made entirely out of plaster in their shop window and the delicate and intricate stucco work is very impressive and would certainly add grandeur to any ceiling or wall. Worth checking out.

XVIII Andrés Segovia Classical Guitar Competition will be taking place this year between 2nd and 6th January in La Herradura. This a competition of great repute, attracting classical guitarists from all over and the top prize is a notable 8,000 euros, plus a guitar worth 7,000! Unfortunately, for any budding talents, the deadline for inscriptions is the 1st December, which will have been and gone by the time you are reading this, but there is always next year! Anyway, it's nice to know that our little village will be transformed into a lively hub of creativity at the beginning of 2005!

Whilst on the theme, you may have noticed that a new shop is soon to open, just across from the pharmacy near the plaza. It sells handmade guitars by a very friendly English chappie. A welcome addition to our village and a nice homage to Andrés Segovia, who, I'm sure, would have been delighted to see this noble craft in his adopted village!

For all you night owls and party people, the beloved Cochera will have opened its doors again by the time this has gone into print. So what are you waiting for? Get down there and discover the new ambience that Antonio has created for us this year. With the innovative, imaginative and creative flair that goes into the Cochera's décor, it's definitely a treat worth waiting for…

We now have a florists in town! The video shop that looks onto the plaza, which also sells sweets and popcorn, now sells fresh and dried flowers, pretty candles and gifts!

The Association of Artisans in La Herradura, in collaboration with the Spanish Association Against Cancer (AECC) are once again holding their annual Christmas Craft Fair in La Herradura's Municipal Market during the December bank holiday:

Saturday 4th, from 18h to 21h approx.
Sunday 5th, from 10h to 21h approx.
Monday 6th, from 10h to 20h

There will be the Cancer Association's popular stall with home-made cakes and jams and other regional Christmas specialities. You will find all kinds of all kinds of handcrafted goods from sculpture to teddy bears, hand-painted furniture & accessories, angels, nativity scenes, ceramics, silver jewellery, tiffany glass, fabrics, lace making and many more unique products which make splendid Christmas gifts... On the 4th and 5th around 18h, you can enjoy (and sing along with) Christmas Carols sung by a group from La Herradura Choir. On the 6th the Flamenco School will dance for us all at 12 midday. On the 5th at 12 midday, as well, the Youth Theatre Group of La Herradura will perform. The organisers look forward to seeing you. Go along and see what's going on and bring your friends.

Graham - Gaynor's husband - sent the above photo in. He was on his way to work, when this singular sight caught his attention. Luckily, he had his camera and wits about him! This is what happens when your forget the hand brake... Apparently, this is not the first time that something like this has happened on La Herradura beach, because about a couple of years ago, the locals were treated to a similar amphibious landing. Anyway, it brings a very new meaning to car ferries... But it's not always a case of a forgotten handbrake. Here, in the photograph below, taken last month on Cotobro beach, it shows that just because you have a 4x4, it doesn't mean you automatically have total-traction common sense. Here's some wicked advice to someone who is stuck in the sand - let the air out of your tyres down to 0.5 bar (25% +/-). Our publisher tells me that you'll be able to drive out with surprising ease.

He'll need a while to live it down! The Councillor for Traffic, Francisco Adrián Fernández was run over by his own car, whilst he was trying to park it in his garage. For unknown reasons, the car rolled forward, giving him two fractured ribs and various bruises on his chest, face and leg.

Two hundred people gathered on the Balcón de Europa to protest against genre violence. Participating was the Nerja Women's Association, as well as members from other groups. This coincided with the International Day Against Genre Violence. Similar manifestations were held all over Spain.

Speaking of the Balcón, the pedestrian walkway under the Balcón de Europa will form a part of the planned promenade between Burriana and La Torrecilla beaches. Said path will pass by La Caletilla and El Salón coves. The project counts on a budget of 60,000 euros, with an execution time of three months. The work will also include the creation of gardens, as well. There are, in fact, two projects; one of which has been drawn up by the coastal authorities on request of the town hall and deals with the shore line of El Salón beach. The other is still on the drawing-board, but will start from La Caletilla and will run via Los Cangrejos to the Torrecilla. Well, I hope that this has made more sense to you than it has to me!

Locals whose houses are affected by the public work, as is the case with c./Méndez Nuñez, and in the near future, c./Bronce, will be able to use the municipal parking area behind the town hall, says the Councillor for Traffic (before he was run over, of course). This 'permission to park' is of immediate effect, without anybody having to join a waiting list.

The drawing-up of the new PGOU (urban development plan) has been awarded to José Seguí Arquitectos Asociados, for the sum of 576,988 euros. It is hoped that the document will have been completely finished before the end of this present legislature (May 2007). According to the town hall, more than 80% of the towns 85,12sq/kms is protected land (natural parks, the cliffs of Maro and protected agricultural land), hence, there is little room for manoeuvring. Of all the land within the town limits, only 450,000sqms, belonging to El Playazo and Los Huertos de Carabeo, some land next to the Torrox border, the Castillo Alto industrial estate, land next to the motorway access road and land around the Camping Nerja can be classified as building land. Fifty percent of the PGOU, which came into effect in April 2002, has been developed.

It all started when a fax arrived at the notary's office in Vélez-Málaga, bearing the name of one of the notaries that worked there, together with the name of a foreigner, whom nobody had ever heard of. It was obvious that somebody was using his name. Three days later, a German phoned to enquire 'how things were going,' as he had paid the money into the account in Nerja, as stipulated. The account belonged to a foreigner who wasn't even a resident. What's more, it had been moving a lot of money. The police decided to stake the bank out and after several hours managed to surprise 55-year-old British citizen, M.J.R., one his way out of the bank with 7,000 euros in his mitts. His initials corresponded with those on the falsified letterhead. The police let him go, but decided to tail him. The suspect made contact, several hours later, in Rincón de la Victoria. His contact was 38-year-old Croat, T.K., who, it appears, was the destination for the money. The whole set up is based on re-sales of timeshare units. The police continue to investigate just how many people have been taken in.

If you want to get married in the town hall as of January, it's going to cost you! The Council is debating whether to charge 60 euros for each wedding. Until now around 30 weddings a year have been celebrated there. It also looks as though the town hall will be charging around 900 euros a year for having cashpoints in the streets - guess who will end up paying that! But it doesn't stop there because water will be going up as well. The first 21 cubic metres will be charged at 19 cents per c/m, instead of 18. After that and up to 43 cubic metres the price will go up from 40 to 41 cents per c/m. Up to 100 cubic metres will cost you 2 cents more (52c) and anything over 100 cubic metres will costs 3 cents more (1.03 euros). Do you run a business that occupies the pavement, i.e.; you rent your terrace from the town hall? The new price per metre/per month during high season rises from 8.82 euros to 12.38 euros. Now here's something that will affect everybody - parking fees: the first hour goes up by 3 cents to 93 cents, whilst the monthly fee goes up from 18.03 to 18.68 euros.

Scientists from Elche have been carrying out tests in Nerja and Frigiliana with sound detectors to locate the palm tree beetles that are causing the demise of many of these trees. One of the scientists involved, Michel Ferry, (a Frenchman), says that the plague reached this part of the coast ten years ago and came from the importation of palm trees from Egypt. Since then, it is calculated that these beetles have killed off 2,000 trees between Torre del Mar and Salobreña. Mind you, they don't attack all kinds of palms - only the 'canariensis' and the date palm.

The town's oldest Kiosk owner has died. Ricardo Lázaro Macías ran his kiosk on the Balcón de Europa since the end of the 50's. He also painted the tower of the El Salvador church and replaced the weathervane that had been carried away by a storm back in 1958. He died at the age of 83 and was buried on the 10th November in San Miguel cemetery, Nerja.

A local from the prefab buildings in Barriada de los Poetas has been fined 600 euros by the town hall for cruelty to animals. The reason being that his horses were running loose without water or food, as well as bothering passers-by. It was precisely the complaints filed by people who had been 'bothered' by the horses, (rather than 'moved by their plight') that led the municipal police to investigate back in September. And whilst on the subject of animals, a woman was fined 242 euros because her dog insisted on defecating in the corridors and passages of the block in which she lived.

If you want a fishing licence for the Maro marine park, then you had better get your act together, because the provincial department for the environment is accepting applications for the 2005 period. There are only a limited number of licences available: 150 underwater ones and 50 angling ones. More info: ask at the town hall foreign department.

Work on the new health centre has begun on the site, which is next to the N-340, near the entrance to Burriana beach. Work is still at an early stage and involves surveying the plot for the foundations. The centre will cost 2,7m euros, 50% of which will be coughed up by the regional government in Sevilla. The town hall, on the other hand, provided the land and the other 50% of the building costs.

A new society has been set up and registered at the town hall. It is the Asociacíon de Relaciones sin Violencia (ARESVI). It is based at No.6 in the old Cuartel de Carabeo. The object of the society is to foster awareness that the best relations are those that do not have violence. The chairwoman is Francisca González Centurion and the secretary is María Díaz López.

The town hall has put the project for a roundabout in front of El Capistrano up for tender. The cost is a maximum of 413.547 euros and cannot exceed six months in construction. The Concejal Delegado de Infraestructura, José Alberto Tomé, says that work will commence next year (without specifying when).

It has been announced that in January the Giner de los Ríos, which is situated in Calle Diputación, will be knocked down to make way for a cultural centre. Back in 2002 a competition was held to find the best idea for replacing the old building. It was won by Joaquín López Baldán with his project entitled, 'Tizas' Obviously, before demolition, the library will be moved to the Sala Municipal de Arte, which is on the ground floor of the town hall. Art exhibitions, therefore, will be held in the old fish market, just as soon as they have completed its conversion. The Patronato Provincial de Recaudación will be moved to a flat that belongs to the town hall in the Edifício Balcón de Europa. Finally, the Escuela de Pintura Infantil and the Centro de Educación will be moved to the town's junior schools