The I Salón Inmobiliario de Almuñécar y La Herradura ran for four days in the municipal sports pavilion. During that time, the locals and visitors alike had the opportunity to see what the Town Council and building developers have planned for us. According to the main opposition party, it was also the first chance that they had had to contemplate the new PGOU (General Urban Development Plan), as well.

The exhibition was brimming with large maps and photographs, smiling representatives and gawking locals. At one stand, an attractive girl announced to all that they were already taking reservations for berthing slots in the projected Chinagorda Marina, even though the only thing that had been officially approved was the artist-impression poster of the port behind her. Hopes are high, but will they find any official approval at that altitude?

Almuñécar's Tomorrow?
The I Salón Inmobiliario was held over Easter in the Municipal Sports Pavilion. The date chosen, admittedly, leads you to consider whether the exhibition was for the Almuñequeros, or the visiting Granadinos and Madrileños. Whatever the case, a lot of time and effort had gone into it. Walking in through the entrance, if it weren't for the familiar faces, it was easy to forget that you were still in Almuñécar, and not in Granada or another such city.

Thirty different companies were there, displaying their 'goodies' Apart from the maps offered by the Town Hall, showing what and where the new PGOU would affect, there were projects, such as golf courses and marinas that together represented one thousand million euros, or, in other words £693m! That amount can only confirm that many people outside Almuñécar believe in the town's future. The PGOU is for the next 20 or 30 years and envisages a population of 50,000, (the present official figure is around 23,000).

The Mayor pointed out that once all the projects included in the PGOU are concluded, that's that. He is convinced that there will be a flow of workers from the building industry to the service sector, as the development draws to a conclusion. He is also convinced that after an initial debate, the plan will be approved in the appropriate council meeting before the summer, with the support of the opposition parties.

From this point on there will be a promotion campaign to present the PGOU to the public, which is when people will have an opportunity to make any objections or suggestions.

What is a PGOU?
All towns of a certain size have their PGOU. The Plan General de Ordenanza Urbano which is really a framework within which the urban nucleus of a town is allowed to expand and occupy. It is drawn up by the Municipal Architects team and is designed to cover a period of around 20 years.

All of the many projects submitted and concluded in the PGOU will not 'spring into action' at once - there is still work being carried out that was foreseen in the 1987 PGOU. All PGOU's, like a country's constitution, can have amendments 'puntuales,' which permit 'fine tuning' and last minute additions.

But these, like the PGOU itself, have to be approved by the regional authorities. Almuñécar can include what it likes in its PGOU, but only what convinces La Junta de Andalucía in Sevilla will be approved.

It's a safeguard mechanism that is designed to protect local citizens from unscrupulous local politicians. Almuñécar's future development is conditioned by so many external factors that it is madness to let local politicians have a free hand.

On the one hand we have Spain's brick-dominated economy, something that is attracting persistent warnings from Brussels. Spain, which has always thrived on the yearly injections of foreign money from the tourist's pockets, has been badly affected by 9/11, as has most of the passenger aircraft industry.

This, coupled with cheaper holiday destinations further down the Mediterranean, has caused many habitual visitors to stay away. This Easter, for example, has seen a 20% drop in trade for Benidorm and forced many five-star hotels around Spain to drop their prices by 50%.

This loss, then, in Spain's traditional bread-winning industry, has put even more emphasis on the building boom. Yet the building boom is fuelled by low interest rates, providing affordable mortgages, but for how long will this favourable situation continue - long enough to build and sell 29,000 extra dwellings? The proposed PGOU, which has yet to be approved, contains four golf courses and two more marinas, as well as enough hotels to provide 3,000 extra hotel beds.

It sounds impressive and dynamic - perhaps it is? Granada - an unspoilt province with a benign, if not enviable, climate and an uncongested coastline - could become the paragon of thought-out, sustainable development. However, it is teetering on a repetition of Torremolinos. Let us pray.

A Third Port
In the recently revealed, new PGOU there are plans to build a third pleasure port or marina. We already have the Marina de Este on the Punta de la Mona. Two months ago the Sandovala Marina Project was announced, which would turn the area behind the Hotel Playa Almuñécar (old Sol Meliá, San Cristóbal) into the Marina, flooding the area with seawater, (See February issued of the Seaside Gazette). The third and latest project for a marina is to be situated in Chinagorda beach. This beach is the one that is in front of the Epyslon buildings, in other words between the Chinasol and the last building along the beach road leading to Cotobro.

The project speaks of around 500 berths, with an investment of 36m euros. The Town Council and the development company behind the project, Puerto Deportivo Costa Tropical S.A. have already signed the deal. But, of course, that doesn't mean a lot because it needs to be approved by higher authorities, i.e. Costas and La Junta de Andalucía. Bear in mind that the Town Hall failed to obtain permission from Costas to extend the Altillo car park onto the beach, rather than back towards the buildings. It has also constantly been denied permission to open a much-needed second lane along Velilla to alleviate the horrendous traffic problem there. In short, getting permission from Costas is like getting 'blood from a stone.' Costas is the governmental department that controls Spain's entire coastline, as its name implies. It is not a provincial nor regional department - it's a national one, so we're talking about Madrid. La Junta de Andalucía, which is the regional government, is at loggerheads with Almuñécar over the indiscriminate demolition of historic (and thus, protected) buildings: La Pension Marina and Casa de Revuelta, for example.

So, as you see, getting the green light from these two authorities will be little short of miraculous. This project is far from new, however, as the idea goes back at least 15 years, as is the case of Marina Sandovala. In fact very little in the proposed PGOU is 'new.' The Río Verde Golf Course, for example, even predates the two proposed marinas. It is a good idea to consider that, if these projects have been kicking around for 15 years and were not approved in their time, should you rush out to make a reservation at the marinas or golf club? Chinagorda Marina's first test will be the approval by the EPPA (Empresas Públicas de Puertos de Andalucía), whose criteria demand that the marina should be big enough to be profitable and should possess all the necessary infrastructure, i.e., parking. The development company is confident that the marina will not only have sufficient parking for itself, but would also provide additional parking for the needs of the area.

The project foresees 850 underground parking slots and a further 450 on the surface. The other problem is accessibility. That part of town has serious traffic circulation problems. However, on this point, the Mayor has said, "The PGOU contemplates connecting San Cristóbal and Cotobro with the main road and the Avda. Costa del Sol. The avenue is the one that leads up from Radiovision to the Guardia Civil, main road junction, in other words, the one that runs parallel to the San Cristóbal beach road, on the other side of the Sandovala.

Finally, things begin to fall into place, concerning the controversial hotel project in Cotobro… Is it possible that big companies have had a privileged and not entirely legal preview of the PGOU - something that invites speculation on matters of murkier substance.

Thursday 17th March Leslie Thomas, our Anglican minister, conducted the funeral of a very long term British resident of Almuñécar, Charles Rogers. The former restaurateur had had his apartment here since the 1960s. He died in hospital in Motril on Tuesday 15th.

The first building licences for the 'Young Homes' project, which aims to provide cheap VPO's (Government Sponsored Housing) for young, first-time buyers, were issued on the 15th March. A total of sixty-three of such licences were issued. The houses/flats will have between 60 and 99sq/mts floor space and will be offered at 50% of the going market rate. "This is proof of the efforts made by the PA governing council to solve efficiently the problem that young people have in the local housing market, providing homes at realistic prices for low-income families, " said the Mayor. Work is set to begin immediately in the Ladera de Castelar area, which is just up from San Sebastian and around a couple of bends from the Santa Cruz junior school. Come to think of it, you have to be slightly round the bend to teach there, like most state-run schools! Benny reckons that the housing will be finished within a year… so with a little luck, the fortunate new home owners can be presented with their house keys, as a squadron of flying pigs go over… Why am I such a cynical bar-steward? Was I dropped on my head at birth?

Almuñécar decided that it wanted to do its bit, when the first anniversary of the Madrid Train Blasts came round on the 11th, so the Councillor for Tourism offered any victim of this traumatic chapter in recent history a mini holiday in Almuñécar, all expenses paid. The spokesperson for the Association of the Victims of 11/S would be gratefully taking up this offer between April and May. A nice gesture, indeed. (See! Nothing cynical there… It cost me, mind!)

Have you wondered what that nice shiny corrugated fence is for, along the Avda. Juan Carlos I, just down from the bus station? They've had this great idea to try building something hitherto unseen in this growing town… a hotel! Now that wasn't cynical - it was just plain sarcastic. Yes, on that micro plot, where you would have trouble to swing a cat - should you be given to this kind of exercise - they are going to build a four-star hotel of some seven floors! Could it be that somebody has finally discovered the secret of Dr Who's Tardis? Let me just run this by you again: on that last remaining plot of vacant land that was used as a unofficial parking space for three dozen cars, they are going to build seven towering floors of hostelry horror. Can you begin to imagine what fun it will be to drive down that already congested avenue, but with long-distance buses (coaches) drawn up outside? This 1,000sq/mt-plot - which, incidentally, is the minimum space required to build a normal house in the urban centre - will have 105 rooms perched on it, together will all the necessary amenities that a four-star rating requires. The people behind it are the same ones that built Hotel Bahía in Taramay, in other words, a group of Real Madrid football players. In fact, the hotel is going to sport the same name as its Taramay predecessor. Let me take a moment to find something positive to say about it… They might include double-glazing to keep out the screaming and shouting coming from the junior school playground, which is only five metres away. Or, alternatively, you can watch people hanging their washing out on the roof of the two-storey apartment block that is also only five metres away. Here's a suggestion! If the proposed hotel will have parking for 90 cars (presumably on two underground floors), why don't they build a seven-storey car park there, instead? I mean, this would provide parking for just over 400 cars! Oh, what's the point - they're going to build the hotel whatever anybody says against it, anyway!

Talking of parking, the PP opposition party has been championing the ex-owners of the Paseo bars. According to the PP's spokesman, Juan Luis González, the construction company that is carrying out the Altillo car park has not paid a penny (euro) compensation to the ousted bar owners since January. Building work is coming along nicely, admittedly, by the way. The original contract states that the bar owners of the demolished paseo bar and restaurants should receive compensation during the period of the building work, to offset their losses. The construction company had been coughing up until December - but nothing has been received since.

Now, a real newspaper would report on the following item without making any editorial comment… but who wants to read real newspapers, eh? Ministry of Public Works workmen have begun the installation of traffic lights in Taramay. There will be two sets - one at each end of the Taramay straight, in other words, one set in front of Hotel Taramay and the other on the Velilla access junction, just before the tunnel. This comes after a little blackmail from the Association of Taramay Residents, who threatened to block the main road there during Easter week. Quite cleverly, work ostentatiously began the week leading up to Easter, thereby thwarting such a protest, yet not a sausage has happened since then. Actually, I don't know why they're worried about a protest there, because once the traffic lights are in place, in their habitually uncoordinated functioning state, it will be like having a permanent sit-in protest, anyway, as far as traffic flow goes. If the Taramay lot have been waiting for years to have traffic lights, could they not have waited two years more for the motorway to bypass them, for God's sake? There are already two pedestrian underpasses under the bloody road there, precisely at the points where they intend to install the traffic lights, anyway! Be prepared: you will be able to walk to Almuñécar from Taramay quicker than by taking your car, come the summer - and that is not much of an exaggeration!

A man was slightly injured (smoke inhalation) when he tried to put out a fire in his flat. This happened at block 34 along Avenida Costa del Sol, which is the one that leads up from Radiovision to the Guardia Civil road junction. The fire broke out at 06.45h, whilst two men were inside. The first managed to get out by himself - the other had to be rescued, unconscious, by the firemen, because he had stayed, attempting to smother the fire. The fire started when the sofa caught alight, probably because of a cigarette. The great quantity of smoke generated obliged the firemen to evacuate around 50 neighbours.

The tenth anniversary of the local theatre group, SKS was celebrated with the play, Infelix Dido - which has nothing to do with cats or vibrators. SKS has its future supply of actors assured with the creation of a local high-school actors company called Grex Sexitana... again, nothing to do with pensioner sex. The play chosen for the event was an adaptation of books I, II & IV of Virgil's Aeneid. The play was a great success, receiving a standing ovation, in recognition of the effort shown by these 20 pupils from the Instituto Antigua Sexi.

Rubbish inspectors have been on the prowl to find out who the owners are of disowned rubbish bags. These Refuse Sherlocks, wearing rubber gloves, sift through a bag's content to find any clue as to who had dumped it. Receipts, bills and letters could give away somebody's identity. Another big change in the rubbish collection system has been the seven-days-a-week collection service, including public holidays. The Councillor for the Environment says that this has been in answer to a long-standing demand from the public. Jesús Alabarce - the said councillor - said that a town that counts on tourism cannot afford not to have daily rubbish collection.

You will have noticed a lot of white, walled-in building plots around town. These building plots, which have hitherto lain as eyesores, and in some cases, for years, belong to the growing number of building projects that have been paralysed by higher authorities for varying reasons. Some, as is the case of Pension Marina, were illegally demolished and are awaiting court decisions. Others received permission from the Town Hall, even though they are resting on archaeological sites, as is the case of the one at the bottom of Calle Vélez. It was an open secret that the foundations to one of the Medieval town gates lies under the site, which didn't impede the Town Architect from giving it the go ahead anyway. Fortunately, Granada stepped in and stopped it. Just about wherever you see one of these sites around town, walled in by a white breezeblock wall, there is a shady story behind it.

By the time that you get your mitts on this issue of the Gazette, the snow will be a distant memory. With the entrance of spring upon the scene, the change of weather was dramatic, if not instantaneous. On the last official day of winter you needed a coat to get out and about, although, admittedly, visitors could be spotted wandering around in shorts & T-shirts… weirdoes! Yet, the very next day, you didn't need a coat. In fact, the many people sat in the town hall square, having a nice coffee or beer, were roasting. Yours truly was sat there in black jeans and a black leather jacket - no chains, mind - and I had no other option but to take my jacket off! Is nothing sacred? No sooner had the weatherman mentioned on the TV that we were now, as of three-fifteen in the afternoon, in spring, than a migrating flock of flies descended upon my doorstep, just waiting for me to naively open the front door, so that they could buzz in. Some were even shaking their multiple fists at me through the window! God, winter has been gone a week and it is already sorely missed, (sob!)

Talking of the cold weather (sigh!) the destruction wrought on our farmlands has been terrific. It is estimated that 20% of the chirimoya crop was lost. Does this 'chirimoya' 'chirimoyo' lark throw you? It's simple enough, mind: the tree takes the 'o' and the fruit takes the 'a'. For example, apple tree is manzano and its fruit is the manzana. What could be simpler? There are a few exceptions, of course: peral/pera and platanera/platano, for instance. Anyway, where was I? Yes, crop damage caused by unusually low temperatures. The cherry tomatoes, potatoes and beans also took a tumble. Up in Otívar, most of the chirimoyos have been frazzled by the subzero night temperatures. You need only take a look at the Río Verde orchards to see how brown the frost-burnt leaves have ended up. The farmers have had to prune the trees vigorously, which will delay the blossom. This means there will less blossom and consequently, less fruit. Now the main worry is the drought that is inexorably closing in. The reservoirs are seriously down and the summer hasn't even begun. Looking at the crop loss on a provincial scale, the farmers union claim that frost has caused a total of 300m euros… they could buy you a few pints, I can tell you!

Lentejí is a brighter place, thanks to the installation of new streetlights. The Mayor, Ángel Fajardo, managed to wangle some funds from Granada, to the tune of 33,000 euros. The streets that are receiving this treatment are the square, obviously, Calle Peñuelas and Calle Morales.

And now for something positive… the right-hand terminal on a car battery! Nah, just kidding! The Town Council has financed an IT classroom for the adults! The Centro Municipal de Adultos has gleefully inaugurated this IT workshop, containing a dozen computers, in the Carrera de Concepción office, which is where the Otívar road meets Almuñécar, next to the fountain. One of the teachers there pointed out, "What these elders find most difficult is controlling the mouse - they find it maddening." Judging by the several photos that can be seen of the 'pupils at work,' it is evident that the vast majority are women over 60. The course will contain 80 hours of classes and will be free of charge. The course starts on the 7th of this month and will last until the 15th of July. The classes will be given in the San Miguel junior school (San Sebastian). The timetable for April, May and June is: Mon - Fri 19.00h to 20.00h. The July classes will be moved to 10.00h to 12.00h. More information: 958 639 170.

Thank God the new high school is finished and will open its doors for the new school year (September). The situation is I.E.S Al Ándalus, for example, is lamentable - and not just because it's full of noisy adolescents, but because it is bursting at the seams. The school was built to house 400 pupils but at present has a school population of 650. This has meant that rooms meant for other activities have been turned into makeshift classrooms. It has also made a mockery of specialised classrooms. French classes - the poor sister of the language department - have had to be given in the science lab, for example. A teacher needs support material such as posters etc on the walls. It is chaotic to have to march through the school with everything you need tucked under your elbows. Classes have been cut back to 55 minutes, instead of an hour, to allow for 'transit,' which means that every 55 minutes 650 pupils plus the teaching staff pour into and along the congested corridors. Whenever the end of class siren goes off, it's advisable to get out of the way!

There are 150 elderly people in Almuñécar, who are lacking somewhere of their own to live. It is for this reason that the ruling party, the PA, wants to convert the holiday residence for visiting pensioners, which is situated not far from Chinasol, into permanent accommodation for the town's pensioners. They argue that the visiting pensioners from around the province can be housed in the town's many hotels, which in turn, would benefit from this trade. The two opposition parties, on the other hand, consider that this would only be a 'patching over' operation, and that new accommodation should be provided from the funds raised from the many private building developments around town, (each urban development has to donate a certain percentage of land, or its equivalent in money, to the town hall to provide for 'social needs'). This idea was expounded in a letter to the provincial authorities, who, according to information received by the Gazette, rejected the proposal.

Almuñécar has joined the battle against violence at home in the form of 'beaten wives,' with a new 'tele-assistance' scheme. The Councillor for Women, Inmaculada Callejas, announced that there would shortly be a 24hr, 365-days-a-year assistance service for women who have court orders out against their ex-husbands or lovers, obliging them to keep their distance. The service will provide instant assistance. The original article that was published in the Ideal, neither says when the system will be working, nor how help will be summoned. We shall find out more and inform you next month.

Phew! Semana Santa has sauntered off. Unfortunately, it has left a trail of candle wax along our streets. I saw one lady involuntarily provide a break-dance demonstration - only her dignity suffered, fortunately. On a bike, it is hell, especially if you're coming down a slope. I was creeping down a hill, as slowly as the first gear would permit without stalling the engine, when a family crossed my path. I shouted that I couldn't brake, but they just looked at me, as if I had said that the moon was made of cheese - I just managed to slip by their toddler, who had just marched happily on in front of me. For the next two weeks, at least, every car that passes will sound as if it is practising hand-break turns, at 60mph. Viva the KKK waxing company!

Semana Santa came and went with the usual assault of rocket detonations, religious processions and parking problems. The chief councillor for La Herradura, María Victoria Ruiz, says that the village fiesta, San José, and Semana Santa have been the most expensive and with the highest level of participation in village history. There is no doubt that both the village fête and Semana Santa are an injection of gaiety and cash, after the dark passage of winter, and if for only these reasons, they will always be welcomed with keen anticipation… all except for the distress rockets! I've yet to find somebody who actually enjoys their bludgeoning reports. The village's dogs and cats will be the first to rejoice, if these pyrotechnical pain-in-the-butts were to be quietly forgotten and omitted from next year's budget.

You will have noticed that the Civic Centre building work -in front of Mari Cacín's office and David & Graham's one - is moving along nicely. The Mayor said that it would be finished before the next edition of the Andrés Segovia Classical Guitar Competition… Don't be taken in though, because it won't be held until November 2006, and not in January, as has been the case up till now. So we're talking about 17 months; not nine. The building will count on an auditorium, which is where - hopefully - the competition will be held, with suitable acoustic conditions. Whatever your opinions on Benny might be, there is no doubt that many of his electoral promises are bearing fruit, i.e., the Civic Centre, the sports installations in El Espinar and the recuperation of the old castle for municipal use. Besides, the PILH is not taking its electoral defeat lying down and will be quick to pick up on any PA shortcomings.

And talking of the PILH… The aspirations of the independent party received a crushing blow from the Supreme Court, when the party's bid for independence from Almuñécar was rejected. However, the PILH is now considering taking their demands to the European Human Rights Court in Strasbourg. This would be the last link in a long chain of sentences and appeals, ever since the Junta de Andalucía rejected the demand. First, the PIHL took their case to the Regional Supreme Court (TSJA), who sentenced in favour of the Junta. Not satisfied, they took the case the highest court in the land, El Tribunal Supremo. Bearing in mind that these legal wranglings began in 1989. Who is financing these litigations, by the way, because they don't come cheaply? The TS explained that they had decided against the PILH because, under present legislation, a minimum population of 4,000 is required and that there must be a margin of undeveloped land of 7,500sq/mts between the aspirant village and its mother town. However, Juan Mora, who is the head of the independence party, has not given up the fight on a national level either, "A new struggle on an administrative and judicial level can begin once three years have elapsed." The question is, should the village obtain independence from Almuñécar, would it just be a case of changing its 'political collar'?

The owners of land bordering the beach and next to the P-6 signed an agreement with the Town Hall, which will convert the land into 'urbanizable residencial.' This will give the P-6 a total of 330,000sq/mts and a building ratio for 60 dwellings per hectare. This area will include land for hotel use and a plot for the new medical centre, as well as the new paseo. A further 20% of this total will be reserved for VPO's (council houses).

Perhaps you are sick and tired of reading about political corruption and mutual accusations of the same - God knows that I'm tired of writing about it! Well, this time it's the Mayor who accuses the opposition of corruption over the handling of the development of Cerro Gordo, dating back to when they were in power. It all started when the PP, who are chief opposition party, accused him of changing a building licence for 'hotel-use-only' to purely 'residential' one, in the Urbanización Carmenes del Mar. "This is radically false," countered the Mayor. He went on to say that this 'accusation' was designed to cover up just another case of corruption under the PP legislature. The PP's accusation was that Benavides' government had permitted the construction of a five-floor building containing 96 flats on a hotel plot. Unfortunately, the block in question is now completely finished and occupied by its tenants. The Mayor, however, claims that in a council meeting on 5th June 2002, the PP the PSOE and PILH agreed unanimously to give the go ahead to the said block of flats. "Instead of keeping as quiet as a tomb about this," says the Mayor, "they put the blame on us." Finally, the Mayor points out that he does not want to cause problems for people who have bought flats there in good faith. "If we took it to the courts, the licences would be withdrawn and the building, probably torn down, which is why, he claims, that this action hasn't been taken.

Burn-Out at Las Brujas. Just when I thought it was safe to assume that I could quietly let my birthday slip by, husband, family and friends convinced me otherwise. So what the hell do I do now, thought I, faced with the prospect of working out how and where on earth I was going to house and entertain so many wonderful and different people and keep them all happy and well-fed and watered? Ah ha…where else but Las Brujas, where no self-respecting witch gets caught without her broomstick and black cat; the food and drink is mystical, the attention from Auxi and Ana is magical and of course, the company promises to be spellbinding? What more could I ask for so that I could remember just as much as I wanted to of this 'significant birthday'? Thanks for a brilliant time! And now if only they could work out some way to make the clocks move in the opposite direction for me. Open every day of the week, (except Tuesdays) 12h -16h & 19.30h - midnight (and don't forget the guaranteed delicious tapas, from tortilla to a delicious range of sandwiches, with every drink). Well worth a simple visit, or a mammoth party. They have the imagination, professionalism and ability to cope with both!

San José heats up the Village. Who would have thought that it would be possible to party solidly for four days running? And the scary thing is we're actually training our children to keep the tradition going, not to mention building up their stamina! A truly successful fiesta for locals and visitors, alike, there was something to keep all age-groups happy, from horse control to children's theatre, Fandango (which really is a dance, you Queen fans!), a whole host of nausea-inducing rides, a brilliant Sevillana concert by Andalucía Baila, vino Andaluz, direct from Venenciadores de Jerez, Canal Sur's (Andalucía's regional television service) own Elsa Rios in concert, La Herradura's own Musical Association's concert, bike race displays, fireworks, paella, music, dance and general merry-making which seemed to be non-stop over the duration of the entire fiesta. It was a real opportunity for the entire community to get together and dip into the various events on offer.Out of all the years we've been coming to La Herradura, this year's fiesta proved to be the best organised. And as a parent who previously has had to struggle through the congested front-line, just to reach the school at collection-time, I have to admit that moving the fun-fare further down the beach towards Luciano's meant that things certainly seemed a whole lot easier for getting around the village this year! And didn't the lights look amazingly professional? Quick question, though: among all the brilliant 'casetas' surrounding the main marquee, why was the PILH (La Herradura's own independence party) missing? What a pity as well, that the rides have to cost so much and that there aren't more opportunities for half price tickets á la 'Dia de los niños' Never mind…our pockets should just about recover in time for next year's extravaganza.

Luciano's Facelift. No, we don't think Signore Pintor is ready for plastic surgery just yet… we're of course referring to the infamous bar, itself. Painted and redecorated and ready for action during San José and Semana Santa, you should pop in and check out the work - and the ambience. I have to admit I smiled when I spotted Michaela's obvious contribution as the scene from Copenhagen! Pity about losing the old photos, though.

Toma de Posesión del Castillo. A chance to focus on an important and historical landmark in La Herradura (and another opportunity for Benavides to unveil yet another plaque with his name on it!) it was fascinating to see so many people (with some notable absences), parading from the Plaza de Independencia, along the beachfront to the Fortress.

Including another Sevillana spectacle by Andalucía Baila, the compulsory bangers and a huge paella, everyone present seemed to share in the enthusiasm of this historical moment. There are plans during the course of this year to restore the Fortress to its former glory and enhance the surrounding area to include a park and recreational area for future events and festivals. However, it was interesting (and disappointing!) to notice that so many key people from other political parties were missing (not to mention the La Herradura flag per se) from what was potentially a really positive community event. Let's see how their plans unfurl.

Photographic Exhibition at Almijara: Vida. When photographs of flowers restore your faith that this kind of beauty couldn't be the result of one big scientific bang. Marina's eye for nature and innate skill is responsible for some astounding images of flora in Tenerife and Lanzarote, with colours and detail to excite anyone who might wonder just how interesting can a plant actually be? You really should take a look at this talented and sensitive author's work to find out. Try contacting Marina Seoane on 928 529 680. By the way, please keep the exhibitions coming at the Hotel Almijara - it's brilliant to have access to these works, here on our doorstep!

So, are you saying we just don't need another art gallery in the village? Well…guess what? Felicia Hall is anything but just another art gallery! Opening in the heart of La Herradura's San José festival on the 19th of March, as part of the handsome block fronted by Bonache, Felicia and Andrew's vision is very much about promoting the amazing talent which exists in this part of the world. An inspiring collection of oils, pastels, watercolours, prints and sculptures, from artists including Luis Bertos del Moral, Klaus Hinkel, amongst others, the coming month will focus on the work of Peter Thomas. This gallery smacks of success and the creative realisation of many dreams, from the artists to the owners, themselves. And judging from the interest and attention the gallery has already received, success will long be the keyword here! Open Tuesday-Sunday, mornings and afternoons.

The Nerja Bridge Club held their end of season dinner on the19th March with a specially themed German dinner, prepared by members, Gertrud Graeber and Rosie Mettel. The meal featured typically German dishes, such as sauerkraut, dumplings and pork, but the culinary highlight of the evening was a special salad, whose ingredients were grown in the garden of former Town Councillor, Wolf Graeber. No sooner had the food left the forks, than the dance contingent of the club started to prepare the venue for terpsichorean activities! Many enjoyed music and dancing, while the non-dancers moved to the staircase!

End of season gatherings are epidemic and The Nerja Players recently 'quarantined' theirs at the Al Ándalus hotel. Over 70 people danced the night away to the music of Carlos. Further amusement was provided by the Junior Section of the Heather Levey 'Academy of Dance for the Dramatically Challenged,' hosted by warm-up comedian, Edgy Egerton. 'With Great Pleasure,' the last formal meeting on 11 April, will have members presenting pieces of their choice. The Nerja Players thanks all their members and guests for all their commitment, support and encouragement over the 2004/05 Season. Remember, if the thespian bug starts to tickle, you call Vanessa 952 524 176 or Norma 952 522 974 for the Nerja Players cure.

Dr. Dorothy Price, founder of the Nerja History Group and founding member of Sol de Almijara - the socio-cultural association that created RSA 99.1 - had an unusual sense of familiarity, when she recently interviewed Geoffrey Rowell, the Anglican Bishop of Europe. It turns out that they knew each other back in their days at Oxford! You see there was a logical explanation! You should watch what you think!

People are still talking about the last Nadfas special lecture given by José Manuel Cabezas. You may recall that Jose Manuel discussed the various clichés and preconceptions foreigners have about Spain and its people. He reflected that not so long ago, people would still spit, vomit, urinate and worse in the streets of some main cities. This revelation brought about a fair amount of sniggering from listeners with ample nodding of heads and mutterings of 'typical & but of course' and the like. At which point a lady - probably from Dutch origin from the accent - remarked to her neighbour that, according to the recent British press, the exact same behaviour was now common in the UK. Indeed, due to the culture of binge drinking, some British cities have regressed hundred of years, as they appear to compete proudly to have more and more no-go areas where 'urban savages' misbehave in the most disgusting fashion. H.M. Government even increased opening hours of pubs to encourage a 'Continental cafe culture". As if... When the remark was reported to Jose Manuel after the lecture, he replied what a shame it was that the comment was not made in public, during the presentation. Probably it was better that it turned out as it did, otherwise it would shatter a few illusions.

International Women's Day was celebrated in Nerja in a wonderfully relaxed and lively Spanish fashion. The tent highlighted various talleres (workshops) sponsored by the Nerja Ayuntamiento that traditionally attract women; language, art and various types of sewing were amongst those on display. The only 'outside' organisation invited by the Nerja Women's Councillor was the Nerja Fencing Club - women members only.

Bargain hunters and other devotees of the Nerja Sunday Car Boot sale are concerned about the plans to change the location of the sale. Currently, there are plans to move it close to the Almijara urbanizations. There have been more rumours that this may not be possible. An interesting paradox is that all the people who enjoy going to the Car Boot sale do not actually want it outside of their door!

Mild panic seems to have ensued in Nerja, following legal expert, David Searl's warning that landlords dodging tax on residential property rents are facing a crackdown from the Spanish tax agency this summer. Searl's advice on the Words & Music books and songwriters' programme on Radio Sol de Almijara RSA 99.1FM resulted in brisk sales of the new, 16th edition of his annual book, You & The Law in Spain. Tenants filling in tax returns this summer might have to declare their landlord's tax number and the registration number of the property. It will then be a simple matter for the tax authorities to search their databases to check if landlords have been owning-up to receiving rent. "We've been doing a brisk trade in the book ever since," said Rob Stokes at WH Smiffs book and card store in Nerja. "David seems to have touched a raw nerve with a few people, though I cannot imagine that anyone would fail to declare income, can you?"

Residents in the Nerja area will have the opportunity of mixing culture with charity during April. Two special fund raising concerts are scheduled.

Children in San Juan, Argentina, will be the recipients of funds raised at a special evening of Argentinean music presented by Grupo Berretin on Thursday 7th at 21.00h. Tickets are available at the Nerja Cultural Centre on Calle Granada for 5 euros. All the monies raised will go directly to help these children. The victims of the South-East Asia Tsunami disaster are no longer in the news, as more topical stories get covered, but they have not been forgotten by the Lion's Club of the Costa del Sol. A special fund-raising concert performed by internationally famous organists, Michel Pinte and Marie Christine Bouroux-Steinmetz, will be held at Málaga Cathedral Saturday 9th at 20.00h. Baroque compositions by such composers such as Bach, Corelli and Handel will be featured. Tickets are available at the Nerja Cultural Centre for 10 euros. The Nerja branch of the Lion's Club is organising a bus to the concert. For details regarding the bus call Jacques at 635 486 874 or Elke, 617 653 035.

Aficionados of Spanish history, along with regulars at the Nerja History Group, know the significance of 26th April - Guernica. Tune in to RSA 99.1fm's So Long Oolong at 16.00h on the 26th to hear Almuñécar resident and sometime Nerja History Group speaker, Bjorn Engstrom, talk with Paula about the events, circumstances and outcome of the 1937 bombing of Guernica.

Daniel Fichera, noted, award-winning, classical pianist, will be presenting a concert of classical music to Nerja audiences, Friday 15th at the Nerja Cultural Centre. Daniel has fallen in love with the Axarquía and has finally taken the big plunge! He has arranged his New-York-based music career, so that he can spend more time in Spain. He plans a series of piano concerts over the summer. Watch this space - we will keep you informed.

Lastly, local psychic, Cesar Eneldo, has made his latest prediction: A certain distinguished & retired money launderer will earn the nickname 'Quasimodo' and it won't be for his skills with the bells.

Resident's Day
The Nerja Residents Day held 13 March at the Parque Verano Azul this year had strikingly fewer visitors than last year. Why? Was it that the Foreigner's Department at the Nerja Ayuntamiento had asked that food and drinks be distributed in stands outside the main tent? This meant that organizations would have to maintain two separate venues in order to provide the accustomed hospitality - a task that is not always possible with smaller organisations over the course of a long day.

The event was enthusiastically kicked off by current Nerja Foreign Councillor, Emma Hall, joined by Former Nerja Foreign Councillor, Wolf Graeber. The lack of free munchies and drinks had a bright side; it was easier to walk through the tent and those that were inside actually seemed sincerely interested in what each attending organisation represented.

The gorgeous weather, boldly defying the predictions of rain, attracted a large crowd around the stage outside the tent. Radio Sol de Almijara RSA 99.1fm had organized the day's entertainment and offered the ever-eloquent and ever-popular Geoff Cameron to MC the event. Geoff lived up to his reputation as a professional with his outstanding control over the stage and entertainment. He gave detailed descriptions of the groups and individuals represented on the stage and generally kept the crowd informed and entertained!

The energetic kids from the Nerja Theatre Workshop danced and sang their hearts out, much to the delight of the crowd. I could see proud parents singing along and giving a whole new meaning to the Nerja Theatre Workshop theme song, 'You Must Be Some Kind of Superstar.'

RSA 99.1 filled an hour with a variety of musical entertainment, starting with the incredibly talented, professional violin duo, Leo Payne and Sally Fenton. What a delightful pleasure it was to sit in the Mediterranean sun and enjoy live Baroque music selections, such as Vivaldi, which would normally be reserved for symphony orchestra concerts! Let me give you a little bit of background of how musicians of this calibre came to participate at the Nerja Resident's Day. Leo and Sally are new to the Axarquía, living in Alcaucín, and playing professionally in concerts throughout the Spain. As fate would have it, last February they collaborated with RSA's Paula in an early music concert. Impressed by their high level of professional musicianship, she convinced them to participate further with her and the radio. Look forward to hearing them as regular guests and presenters on RSA 99.1fm.

Following Leo and Sally, a complete change of musical pace took over the stage in the form of RSA 99.1fm star presenter, Mike Bond, accompanied by Norwegian guitarist, Ule. As is the custom when Mike Bond is on the stage, the audience was soon dancing and singing along to his lively songs.

The next act on the stage caused audience members to reflexively grasp tightly to their kiddies and jewellery. After all, the glare and flash of cold steel blades in the hands of the Nerja Fencing Club can cause tremors of fear and excitement amongst even the most stout hearted!

Suddenly, the stage was filled with an international team of white-garbed fencers of all ages and sizes. The Nerja Fencing Club was proud to be joined by visiting multi-award-winning, German fencing champions, Bette Raveling and Manfred Hojer. I am sure that you are wondering how such fencing stars came to the fencing club of a little Spanish town. Yes, I knew you would want to know. As fate would have it (does this sound familiar?), RSA's Paula had taken a fencing seminar with Manfred several years ago. Impressed by his energy, drive and title of European Foil Champion, she convinced him to give regular fencing seminars to the Nerja Fencing Club. Someday, he will change his number to avoid her pleading and cajoling calls to Germany, but in the meantime, fencers should come and enjoy his periodic tutelage. I do believe Paula's next project is a radio show featuring medieval singing fencers, but I digress.

The fencers demonstrated their little kiddie fencers, how to settle a domestic debate by armed combat, and a demonstration of the three weapons of fencing: Foil, Sabre, and Epee. Notably, bilingual explanations were given to the crowd.

I felt as if I had entered the world of the Arabian Nights when the next act took the stage - Baile de Azahar. Another international mixture of participants, Russian, French, German, Spanish and English, all aged, between three years old to... they would not tell me. This Arabic Dancing group, led by Gill Eardley, enchanted the crowd with their traditional and expressive Middle-Eastern-based dances. Don't even think about using the word 'belly!' The music, costumes, Arabic-styled stage props conjured up such a wonderful atmosphere, that I had sudden cravings for mint tea.

The around-the-world journey continued, when cowboy hats and boots, swirling skirts and bolo ties filled the stage in the form of the D&B Line Dancers. What an enthusiastic happy group of people! Not only did they entertain the crowd with wonderfully choreographed, delightfully complicated, Country & Western line dancing, the happy grins on their faces let you know that all the 'work' that they put into learning it was fun! My cravings changed from mint tea to tequila!

The Nerja Resident's Day entertainment next headed south to the Latin-American country of Peru, with the mystical sounds of the Andean Panpipes. Before I could say 'snappy serape,' the Peruvian piper was finished and the stage was bare.

MC Geoff Cameron proved his resourcefulness by calling upon the Nerja Fencing Club to fill in the gap. The happy, white-clothed group of fencers trouped onto the stage again and fought each other, literally. The weapon that seemed the most 'crowd-pleasing' was the sabre. The combination of sudden charges, wide slashing attacks and random, spontaneous screaming, seems to bring out the inner child in us all. Geoff knew that it was time to bring on the next act, when the crowd started chanting, "Let's see some blood." So, on came the Yoga group.

The bubbly and incredibly flexible Kelly, along with her students, provided the audience a demonstration of Ashtanga Yoga. Linking traditional yoga postures together, so that one posture flows into the next, creating what they described as 'meditation in motion.'

The Nerja Resident's Day provides organisations an opportunity to meet and share their work and hobbies with each other. One concern was the increase in obvious marketing from some commercial elements. Lawyers, commercial radio stations, plumbers and others were passing out cards and leaflets in and outside the tent. This had once been forbidden at the Nerja Resident's Day. Has Nerja Ayuntamiento's policy changed on this? The entertainment on the stage was varied and reflective of the international community that we live in. Overall, it was a great day. Where were you?