After nearly two and a half years of being closed to traffic, the Paseo del Altillo saw one-way traffic flowing, at last. However, this is only a temporary measure, introduced to ease summer traffic congestion.

At the end of June - as promised - the construction fencing was pushed aside to create a narrow lane for westbound traffic. Apart from easing congestion, it also breathes some life back into the business between the El Santo (the Rock) and the Paseo, which had been converted into a cul-de-sac by the construction work.

Furthermore, if there are no hitches, the lower level of the parking area will be opened by the end of July, as well, providing 350-odd much needed parking spaces for visitors and locals alike.

Both measures, however, will cease to function, come the end of summer, for there is still much work to be carried out at the street level, such as completing the entrance and exit ramps and laying all the garden area.

When governments clash on a national level, it is often the small fry who suffer the consequences. The Moroccan government refused a group of Spanish politicians permission to disembark, who had planned to visit the disputed area of Western Sahara, which was a Spanish colony up until 1975. This was the third time that they had done it in only four days. "There's no way that you're going to step down onto Moroccan soil," said the country's officials to the Catalan representatives. A Spanish politician from the United Left party complained about the pomposity displayed by both the Moroccans and the Catalan politicians. The Spanish Foreign Affairs Minister had advised against making this fourth trip, knowing full well what the outcome would be. The Catalans complained to the UN, but this body merely replied that its only function in the area was to maintain the ceasefire - not 'to sort out these minor squabbles.' So what has all this to do with Almuñécar? Well you see, a couple of years back there was a Hispano-Arab convention held in the little Moroccan frontier town of Alhucemas, which dealt with, above all, sexual discrimination. A delegation of women from Almuñécar attended and many contacts were made and initiatives were planned. One of the initiatives was for a Moroccan delegation to make a return visit to Almuñécar for the Feria de Asociaciones, which was held last month. However, the Moroccan delegation ran into trouble only two days before the fair. The 18 women in the group were refused their visas by the Spanish Consulate in Nador. The four male members, however, had no problems. The Mayor of Alhucemas explained to the Almuñécar Town Hall that the trip had had to be cancelled, because the 'majority' of the delegation had been refused visas. The women's associations went up the wall, accusing the Spanish Consulate of being a raging 'machista.' Be that as it may, the reason behind the refusal was probably a tit-for-tat move over the Catalan visit. Refusing four male members would not stop the delegation from attending - stopping all the women ones was bound to get noticed.

Many people know that there is a beach called La Playa del Muerto, (Dead Man's Beach) but they don't perhaps know why. Many, many years ago, a body was washed up there. Of course, that is not its official name, but it has stuck. Just in case anybody had any doubts about the name of the beach, its nickname was reinforced on the morning of the 24th June, when a dead body was discovered there. Apparently, it was a well-known tramp from around town, according to the report. There were no signs of violence and first investigations indicate a heart attack. I hope it wasn't Benitez, who is certainly well known and who doesn't do anybody any harm.

The Annual Gastronomic Fair went well, as was expected. The setting was good, the food was good and the mood was excellent. This year is the seventh time that the fair has been held, and each year it grows. Just for one weekend, you can enjoy specialities from restaurants all around town without walking more than a dozen paces. Normally, to sample the dishes of La Barraca on Cantarriján beach (Málaga border) and also sample ones from Tony's Argentina Steakhouse (Velilla), you would need a car and at least 20 minutes travelling time. In fact, this is when you don't go to the restaurants - they come to you! The concept is excellent. Of course, it has its limitations, as any housewife/cook in holiday accommodation can tell you: it is not the same to prepare and present something, with all the conveniences of your own kitchen, than to make do with 'inferior cooking conditions and equipment. Mind you, judging by most of the delicious goodies on display, you wouldn't think that this had been a problem. Learning from the mistakes of previous years, there were more tables and chairs available for the diners. To give you an idea of how many people enjoyed the event, the bar that was set up to serve beer and light refreshment sold 16,000 drinks! That didn't include the wine, of course, which was on sale at each individual stand.

Benavides is clamping down on illegal building in el campo. In other words, if you have bought a piece of secano with or without a tumbled-down or jerry-built construction on it, forget about renovating it. It's hardly surprising, as a wave of foreigners has swept over the surrounding hillsides and bought the lot up. Encouraged by 'old timers,' who told them that nobody cares if you build Buckingham Palace of your 3,000sq/mts of land, they have built their 'dream homes.'' Hey, the Spanish have also been doing it - you need only drive up the Otívar road and look round. The first counter measure was t a new law, saying that an apero (agricultural blockhouse for storing farming tools) could have no dividing walls. This has effectively put paid to applying for permission for an apero and building a multi-room chalet in its place.

Hotel Playa Almuñécar - who were allegedly the villains of the winter months, for having closed down for building reforms - have bettered their image enormously by taking on more permanent staff. The hotel manager, Gonzalo García, announced that the hotel chain had spent over a million euros on improving its leisure facilities. It has signed full-time contracts (fijo) with 27 workers who, until now, had only had seasonal ones (fijo-descontinuo). This had been arranged between the union representative and the manager before the hotel was shut down for the said building work. The hotel, which was formally run by the international hotel chain, Sol Meliá, was operating at around 90% at the end of June.

Do you remember the case of the farmer who stabbed the Councillor for Maintenance and Rural Environment, back in late January? Well, he has been sentenced to one year in prison, which has not pleased the Town Hall. In fact, they are appealing against this judicial decision and are asking for a more severe sentence. The 54-year-old farmer has pleaded to having been 'under the influence,' which was taken into consideration as an attenuating factor. The Town Hall wants the man judged for attacking a member of the corporate body with a sharp weapon, for which they consider eight years in prison more suitable. The farmer has also been ordered to remain at least 500 metres from his victim… Hope Antonio, the farmer in question, doesn't have a good throwing arm!

Now, I think that this is something to take into account: energy crisis. The Almuñécar Town Hall announced that it would participate in the 1.6m euros needed for doing up the town's electricity grid. This was part of an agreement, signed with the electricity company, Sevillana-Endesa. This, says the Mayor, is being done to make adjustments for the urban growth envisaged in the new PGOU (Urban Development Plan). The improvements and enlargement to the existing energy grid include a new electricity sub-station. Right, going back to my opening statement. On the very first day of summer, record energy consumption was reached, thanks to a proliferation of air-conditioning units. It's a bit like our parking problem. There are five times as many cars in town during July and August, as there are in any other months of the year. However, it is impossible to provide parking for such a figure, otherwise the town would be a huge deserted car park throughout the rest of the year. Such is the case with the air-conditioning plague. We use much more energy keeping cool, than we do, keeping warm - hey, we live in the south of Spain, right? When summer comes, we start buying electricity from North Africa, France and Portugal. This June, however, French power stations were on strike. Portugal had its own energy crisis, so it only left North Africa… where they still don't have the A/C plague. On top of everything, the drought has caused hydroelectric output to drop noticeably. My advice? Buy yourself a Genny, if you have a full freezer.

Lenteji's church repairs can continue, thanks to donations from the villagers. Repair work had been idle for just over a year, due to a lack of funds. Altogether they managed to rake together 6,000 euros (¡un quilito de pelas, redondico, chaval!) Most of the funds came from a bar that was set up to raise funds during El Día de la Cruz at the beginning of May.

Well, if all goes to plan, the disco in the water park that was burnt down at the beginning of June will be open and functioning again on the 16th July, but this time, under a huge marquee.

This time last year there was a good riding stable, professionally run. According to the PSOE, this year it is a disaster, thanks to a forced change of hands. This political party claims that it is even in a state of 'abandonment.' Paco Prados, who leads this local branch, claims that some of the deterioration is owed to 'filtrations' (leaks) coming from the hotel next door. He claims that tourist agencies are advising visitors to avoid it and that there aren't even any horses (other than privately owned ones) anyway!

There was a tremendous storm in the local PP (Conservative) party when Juan Luis - the ex Mayor - offered the party's candidature for mayoralty in the next local elections to Antonio Rebollo, who is an ex-mayor himself, but for the PSOE socialist party! This did not please the PP ex leader, Andrés Palacios, who positively blew a gasket! It was precisely to avoid party tension that Juan Luis made this unusual offer. Antonio Rebollo at the moment, leads the newly-formed Almuñecan party, called, Partido Sexitano, which professes to having no filial ties with any regional or national political party. As things stand, the Almuñécar branch of the PP has no fewer than five official candidates for the top post. Juan Luis, who presently holds this post, was going to step down, but after all this rumpus, has decided to stand again for the post.

San Juan came and went this year, pretty much as it always does. The beaches were packed on the night with revellers only to be left packed with rubbish the following day. Amongst the debris was a very solid-looking and ornate dining-room table. The habitual supermarket shopping trolleys and purloined terrace chairs from nearby cafés and restaurants also littered the battleground. Everybody had fun, which is the main thing. The limitations, slapped on the festivity by the Mayor, helped to keep things within proportions. Before these tougher measures were enforced, the beaches were turned into veritable Bedouin cities, until the end of the nearest weekend. Within these bubbling beach Babels were outdoor discotheques, provided by somebody's car stereo. Then the Mayor stepped in and ruled that you could not set up before midday on the eve and had to have it all back down again by midday the next day. It works very well. The kids get to have fun and the holidaymakers get to have their beaches back.

Whilst on the subject of San Juan, it must be mentioned that the Mayor went ballistic regarding the Local Police. He authorised a press release in which he said that there was 'massive (police) absenteeism' on the big night. The Mayor, on the other hand, praised the Guardia Civil for their 'professional presence.' According to Benny (the mayor) "all of them (referring to the local police) produced sick notes for 'doubtful ailments', which would not in anyway incapacitate them from carrying out their duty on the night. The Mayor went on to say that he finds it lamentable that this 'sector' of the Local Police finds support among 'certain other political parties.' He further mentions that there have been 56 cases of absence at work. He claims that there are those amongst the police staff that want to work, but are suffering reprisals and pressure from other staff members. So when we're talking about 'off sick,' what percentage are we talking about? According to normal company management thinking, five percent is considered 'disturbing.' Police forces (Ertzainas) up in the Basque Lands, where terrorism is a quotidian reality and where therefore depression etc is more prevalent, the figure doesn't reach 20%… Almuñécar has 80% of the work force off sick! This means that there are only three policemen on duty at any given moment, for a town that under normal conditions has 24,000 inhabitants, and in the summer months will see around 150,000. At the moment, the already over-worked Guardia Civil is holding the fort…

There is every chance of a rubbish-collection strike on the 4th July. Just as the province settled down to carting away the accumulated rubbish after weeks of strike and flaring tempers, it came to light that Mirlo - the company which has the contract for rubbish collection and street cleaning in Almuñécar - has dissention within its ranks… The workers want more money! The truth is, after having spoken with several of them, they work bloody long hours and get paid peanuts. One thing is for sure - if they do go on strike during the sweltering weather of July, with mountains of reeking rubbish attracting flies, rodents and inquisitive dogs… it will cause a stink, and never better said.

The Town Hall has just had containers for used cooking-oil installed in the Municipal Market, opposite the Cafetería Samurai. This is a great move because, rather than tipping it down the sink, you can make your ecological contribution to a better planet... and cleaner sink plumbing. All used oil collected will be turned into ecological combustibles, or biofuel, if you prefer.

As chance would have it, I had walked past the building site two days before and had been struck by the precarious conditions of the exposed adjacent buildings. "Must get a photo of that," I thought. The next thing I knew was that I received a phone call, saying that a building had collapsed, and to get down there quickly with the camera. Anybody who has enjoyed a coffee or whatever at Los Granos de Café will have observed the demolition and site-clearing work that had been going on next door. The workers had dug down without putting any form of props up to support the walls of the adjacent building. Then it happened, four families from the building that backed onto the site lost their kitchens and bathrooms. There was no warning in the form of rumbling or telltale cracks appearing - it just went! The tenants were so lucky that none of them were in that part of the house at the time. One woman said that she had just finished hanging some clothes on a line under the back window and had returned to the sitting-room, when she heard this God-awful crash. She said that had she spent just a little longer on the task, she would have been buried under the rubble. The building affected is the one that has its façade in the town hall, and includes the Arboreum decoration shop. Poor Enrique lost nearly half of his shop under the collapsed upper floors. Anyway, the Town Hall was quick off the mark and offered the families temporary accommodation in the Chinasol apartment block. Within a few days, however, the families were allowed to take up residence again in what was left of their homes - and that was the end of the alternative accommodation! You see, the collapsed structure belongs to a building extension from many years back. It collapsed, leaving the original building apparently intact and stable. They have no kitchens, but have a pretty panoramic view, though. One thing is for sure, the families will have to live without half of their house all summer and Alboreum won't be opened for as long as an inevitable court case takes - three years?

Stop Press: It was announced on the 1st of July that the rubbish collection strike will be avoided, thanks to an agreement struck between the union and the company heads. This comes as a great relief, having seen the putrid chaos that has assailed other towns in the province during the Great Rubbish Collection Strike during May and early June. The dustbin men get more money, the Mayor and the boss of the cleaning company can heave a sigh of relief and the rest of us can wake up in the morning to find that our rubbish has been miraculously removed by the good fairies & night goblins, just as always... Well, nearly always!

The VII Puppet Festival of La Herradura will have Don Quijote as its theme this year - how could it be otherwise! It will be held at the Plaza Nueva between the 3rd and the 7th of August, and counts on a budget of 6,200 euros. Well, let's hope that the puppets are the only ones that will be 'strung up' this summer!

The Town Hall has given the go-ahead for the construction of the La Herradura sports pavilion, worth 1,300,684 euros. The site on which the new sports building will be built is next to the Noria and was obtained by the Town Hall as a land concession from the Hoteles Fuerte project. The pavilion will comprise of two connected buildings, housing a 40 by 20mts pitch, plus seating for an audience of 184 people.

I had a good walk around the Castillo and it is in a sorry state, isn't it? It's such a pity, because if done correctly, it can be quite an attractive tourist site. Hopefully, this is what will happen, thanks to the agreement made between the Town Hall and the Escuela de Estudios Árabes del Consejo Superior de Investigaciones Científicas, better known as the CSIC, to its mates. A tidy 44,000 euros will be spent on a study plan and restoration plan for the castle, which as many will remember, was the old Guardia Civil post in the village. The castle is very similar to the ones in Carchuna, Manilva and Almayate and were all built in 1770, during the reign of Carlos III. They were part of the coastal defences against other maritime invasions and pirate raids (The Barbary Pirates operated from North Africa). When the Guardia Civil moved out, after some of the roof caved in, the Town Hall bought the building from the Ministry of the Interior for 600,000 euros. When it is completely renovated, the Castillo de La Herradura will house Art exhibitions, etc.

Break out the party hats and joyous farting because the motorway construction company has begun the asphalting process on stretches of the new coastal motorway! The Nerja/La Herradura stretch is scheduled to be operative by the beginning of next year. At this point in time, all the tunnels along this part of the works are open and the bridges are being finished off. Some of the asphalting work is going on behind San Antonio at the moment. The bridges are pretty impressive. Perhaps the most impressive bridge is the one over the Río de Miel that stands on 100-metre-high pillars/columns. In fact the bridge is almost three times higher than it is long! As for the tunnels, El Marchante, which passes through Cerro Gordo, has been producing delays because the drilling devices have been running into a lot of sand behind the rock face, which has necessitated the extensive use of concrete reinforcement to fill the extra cavities.

Well, by the time you read this, San Juan will have been and gone and the whole transition from spring to summer will be complete. Funny how there are so many cleansing symbols around, as we move from one season to the next (fire, water, face washing, etc) … it's as if we just have to have proper closure before we can venture forward. Not a bad policy, when you think about it.

Talking about moving forward to the next academic year, the Fin de Curso (end of term) party at the local school, Las Gaviotas was a tremendous hit! Unlike previous years, the whole event was much more structured and seemed to involve everyone from infants, through to primary, schoolteachers and even the parents themselves. The theme was the time of Don Quixote (400 years ago, to be exact) and the objective was to create some of the kind of entertainment that would have been popular in this era, right down to the food on offer. The children delighted in dressing up and the performances included dances, theatre, singing and even a slide show, which showed what the children had been doing throughout the year. As a parent, I'm delighted to see how much unity there is, not just amongst the staff, but within the student body itself. Participation is the buzz word here and I'm sure it will go a long way to encouraging greater contact and collaboration between children and adults of such diverse backgrounds.

So now the children are on one of the longest summer breaks known to human kind - or so it feels as a parent. In contrast to when we first arrived here, though, I have to say that at least there are a number of options available to we desperate lesser beings, who annually attempt to keep our cherubs entertained. In addition to the Summer School, which was quite a success last year, there are also language classes available through Idiomas el Mar in Plaza San José, so that adults and children can keep their ear in and improve their Spanish. We've also received information about a football camp that's happening for various age groups in Almuñécar, not to mention the yearly courses at the International School.

As La Herradura and Almuñécar get unbearably busy over the next couple of months, it's interesting to note how this frenetic feel transmits through to the residents. Most of us head for the hills, as we're just not accustomed to queuing for parking spaces, let alone bread! But then this is all clearly a necessary evil, as our restaurants and bars so depend on the influx of spending tourists at this time of year. We've included a list of these venues (printed Gazette edition only) to give you an idea of the selection that you have in this part of the Costa Tropical. And quite simply, you could easily spend every meal in a different location and still find something new and appealing.

As the reaction against the PGOU mounts, the meetings keep happening. And just as Benavides' tries his hand at public relations and reassuring the population about the viability and benefits of the proposed public plan, it's curious to note that there is quite a lot of activity on the part of people who are questioning the wisdom of what's being planned. Apart from a circular that I've also seen distributed by the Young Socialists, here are some documents that outline some reactions to date. What remains ahead, we have yet to see, but fingers crossed that during this great tradition of cleansing and progress, we don't end up throwing out the baby with the bathwater.

Yes, we all know that the paseo issue has been going on forever, but finally it seems as though some meaningful discussions are taking place. What started as a step in the right direction some two years ago, when the converted railway sleepers were finally partially removed to leave just the precarious boards and rusty nails, appears to be moving towards the construction of something useful and attractive. But has the Ayuntamiento learnt something from its experience in Almuñécar and the long-delayed car-park project? Hopefully, it could be so, since now there is discussion about insisting that subcontractors follow exact speed and quality guidelines before they are entitled to the final profits earned. Now wouldn't it make sense if they applied that kind of logic to all the public projects that are considered?

The great news is that Jean from El Ancla has finally managed to collect all the money raised for the brilliant Auction of Promises which took place to raise money for victims of the tragic tsunami that devastated South East Asia at the end of last year. The final count was 6,648 euros and this was paid into the Manacare Foundation, specifically chosen for its philosophy not to take profit from any of the contributions made to the cause. Jean and the team would like to thank everyone involved in this mammoth fund raising effort, including Pete and Jackie for conceiving the idea, John Parker as auctioneer, the community of La Herradura and absolutely everyone who helped on the night and during the run-up, contributed their time, the promises and those who purchased the lots themselves. By the way, the artists behind the giant cheque were Dan & Julia. Fantastic effort all round!

Surprise Appearance!
The Marina del Este, when it was laid down, was going to be such an attraction for the Jet Set... It didn't seem to happen, though. Instead of an endless procession of Banus Barons and Marbella Maidens, there only seemed to be an 'endless procession of problems.'

So imagine the surprise caused when none other than the Baroness Thyssen just happened to pop in, aboard her three-deck pleasure cruiser! Kroyi - our publisher's wife, who works in El Manglar decoration shop in the Marina - blinked and took a second look as this paparazzi-beset celebrity strolled into the shop. Rather than asking for an autograph, she merely asked if she could help her, and before long they got chatting about decorations and feminine things.

Before long the Baroness mentioned that she was looking for somewhere 'decent' to eat. Kroyi recommended the place where she always has lunch, just round the corner: Chiringuito Marina Playa. The Baroness thanked her and left. Kroyi, still a little dazed, immediately phoned her friends and said, "Ummm... I've just sent my good friend, the Baroness Thyssen, round to check you out for diner this evening..." The reply was as could be expected, "Yeah, sure - no problem, Kroyi (titter)" The waiters were just idly looking out of the door when... panic ensued but jaws were promptly retreived from the floor.

Fortunately, Luis Alberto and Alicia (the owners) have had experience with celebrities and VIP's because a couple of years ago, the soon-to-be Prime Minister of Spain, Mr Zapatero, regularly ate there, during his brief summer holdiay in La Herradura. She looked, nodded and confirmed that she would be requiring a table for the evening.

Kroyi did just happen to point out to our Georg what was happening. So, that evening, he also turned up with his camera. The body guards looked like people that regularly ate cameras and photographers for breakfast... Besides, intimacy was to be respected.

He was in a dilemma: here was the photo of a life time, which any paparazzi would scratch his eyes out for, but on the other hand, here also was this very pleasant and trusting woman, who just wanted to dine with her friends and family. Everything was so natural: the waiters, the group at the table - it could have been just anybody sat there.

It must have made a nice change for the woman to be able to just sit and enjoy a meal, without over-anxious waiters and bundles of photo-hungry journalists, waiting behind every plant pot. Only one person was nervous... Our Georg!

The Baroness finally sent a message to thank the chef (Alicia's mum, Encarna) and got up to look at a collection of bracelettes, near the entrance. Georg watched dismayed at the dwindling hope of snapping off six million shots, but his nature would never allow him to do it sneakily. Kroyi solved the problem by approaching the Baroness, and said, "Tita, my husband's the publisher of a 'serious' local magazine - would you mind if he took a photo?

Georg was ready to put some distance between himself and the growling bodyguards, but he needn't have worried. "Of course, no problem," she replied.

Alicia, not one for being left out, offered to 'balance' the photo. And here you have the photographic evidence of this chance meeting!

As work continues to bring the motorway further down the coast, locals are having mixed reactions. While many people feel the motorway is bringing the 21st century to their doors, the residents of Maro feel the autovia has brought a living nightmare to their daily lives. Earthquake like tremors and resulting structural cracks are experienced every time the motorway construction crews use explosives to continue their work. Manuel Casanova, director of the Hotel Playamaro and president of the Maro Business Association, says every afternoon the hotel terrace is filled with their guests disturbed over the violent construction explosions. Several guests have insisted on having their money returned. Local Maro businesses want to know why smaller, less intense blasts couldn't be used as they were in the affluent area by the Nerja Caves. Some residents are seriously thinking of leaving Maro until the work is over.

There you are, in your new designer bathing costume, so happy to finally be in the Med on the holiday you have been dreaming of, when you notice a peculiar sort of companion in the water next to you. "Is this the latest fashion for swimming? My goodness, how very rotund this one is… Oh, it is not an extraordinarily large tourist - it is a dead bull!" Wouldn't that just make your holiday complete? It is true! A 500-kilo bull, floated up to the El Playazo beach last month. He had no identification (guess he lost his wallet) except for a brand with the letters 'RM,' The town hall took the bull out of the water and disposed of his body in a manner that we will spare you the details of. 'RM?' What could that be? 'Red Meat?' 'Resident of Maro?' Could they be that angry? 'Real Madrid?' Sports fans have be known to get rowdy. Let us know, if you can solve the 'RM' mystery.

Flower scam. Every year, unsuspecting visitors are victims of the gypsy ladies flower scam. What? How can flowers cheat you? Glad you asked. Several friendly, flower-carrying ladies happily approach you, offering carnations. Nerja is such an incredibly beautiful place that it seems only natural that someone should want to give you a flower. You take the lovely carnation and the friendly ladies start asking for money. It seems fair to you to pay something for the flower, so you get out your wallet or change purse. However, whatever coin you get out the ladies complain that that is not what they have asked for. Take our advice. Put the flower down and leave. Make sure that your wallet is still with you and count to see that all your fingers are still attached. Some of these ladies are incredibly good pickpockets. While you are distracted with the flowers, the sun, the scenery, the different coins, it is possible that one of these ladies is robbing you in whatever way she can. Recently, a British man was approached by four of these flower fairies on Calle Antonio Ferrandis and walked away 600 euros poorer. He immediately reported the incident to those fine fellows in green - the Guardia Civil. The four larcenous ladies were located and the missing money was discovered hidden in the clothing of one of them. Remember: there ain't no such thing as a free flower.

To help thwart those thieving flower fairies and all the other artful-dodgers types, lurking with the intention of ruining your holiday, Nerja has arranged for more police during the summer months. As the population of Nerja triples to 60,000 each summer, more police is not just a good idea; it is a necessity! Twenty-four more agents, divided between the lads and ladies in blue (Policia Local) and the guys and gals in green (Guardia Civil) should decrease petty crimes and help increase safety for tourists and locals alike. In case you have been spending time here and the thought has crossed your mind, "Well, the local police Guardia seem pretty serious, but what exactly do the local police do? Yes, they certainly stop the traffic and get people safely across the street but is there anything else?" Well, to set your mind at ease, take a look at these statistics. The Nerja Local Police, so far this year, have issued more than 2,100 fines for traffic violations. Guess what? About 1,200 of them (that is 60%) have been for bikers for not wearing helmets! This represents one third of the registered motorcycle owners in the area! To provide an 'incentive' to use crash helmets, the fine for riding without one has been raised to 60 euros and repeated offenders are fined 90 euros! The other fines were issued primarily for double parking and parking on the pavement. Altogether, close to 50,000 euros have been added to the Town Hall's coffer as a result of these fines.

The quest for extra parking space this summer has begun. Francisco Adriano Fernández, who presides over the municipal traffic department, has ordered lots of nice lines to be painted around the Verano Azul Park, which will produce 60 new parking spaces. Futhermore, talks with the owners of plots of land, near the roundabout of Calle Chanquete are negotiating with the Town Hall, and if all goes well, these dust patches will provide 100 parking spaces, extra as well!

Originally named Narija by the Moors, Nerja, over the last twenty years has managed to change from simple fishing village to tourist resort, without losing its Spanish style and charm. Nerja manages to combine its Axarquia feel with an international flavour! As you wander along any of the streets leading to the heart of Nerja - the Balcón de Europa - you hear a myriad of languages; English, German, French, Swedish and, maybe even, Spanish. Tourists from all over Europe and the world find their way to Nerja for an unforgettable holiday. Dominantly placed at the side of the Balcón de Europa, you will see the 17th century El Salvador Church - a mixture of baroque and Mudejar styles. The beautiful palm-tree-lined promenade leading out to the Balcón is awe-inspiring during the daylight, and the centre of life and happenings during the night. At the end of the Balcón you find historic canons facing towards the sea, protecting us from pirates! Also you will see a life-like statue of Alfonso XII, the Spanish King that visited Nerja after a serious earthquake, in 1884 and declared upon seeing the rocky promontory, "Pero si esto es el balcón de Europa!" From the Balcón you can appreciate the striking majesty of the landscape - from the Sierra Almijara, which extend to the Mediterranean at Nerja to the amazing cliffs that form the small coves, bays and cosy beaches along the coast. Recently, VTV - a local Andalusian Television channel - took advantage of the beauty of the Balcón as the backdrop to film fencers from the Nerja Fencing Club and School.

One of the amazing things about Nerja is how, even when the beaches are packed with visitors, you still find local fishermen going about their work. At many of the small cove beaches, you can observe fishermen repairing their nets, preparing and taking out their small boats and bringing in their catch for the day.

On the evening of 16th July you can see the fishermen of the area pay homage to the La Virgen del Carmen, known to mariners all over the Catholic world as their special patron saint. The statute of the Virgen is paraded through the streets of Nerja and then taken on a special Mediterranean excursion. Local sailors decorate their boats with flowers and lights and accompany the Virgen up and down the local coastline. The celebration is not limited to fishermen, rather the entire pueblo gathers on the street and along the Balcón to cheer for the Virgen with her flotilla and, of course, the thrilling fireworks that follow.

Nerja's Virgen del Carmen tradition dates back to the 18th century, when a floral offering started the celebration. In 1965 Rafael Ruiz Agudo formed a new Virgen-de-Carmen brotherhood, with each member paying five pesetas. Later the Town Hall took over the celebration and in 1987 and a special Virgen del Carmen boat was built by 'Pepe el Calafate' (José Calvente).

One of the most famous landmarks in all of Spain is located just outside of Nerja, the Cuevas de Nerja. Only the Prado Museum in Madrid and the Alhambra Palace in Granada have more visitors each year. As the tale is told, on 12th January 1959, Francisco Navas Montesinos, Miguel Muñoz Zorrilla, Manuel Muñoz Zorrilla, José Luis Barbero de Miguel and José Torres Cárdenas, while either bat hunting or searching for a lost dog, (that part varies) 'discovered' the caves. I hesitate to use the term 'discovered,' as I can hear Dr. Dorothy Price, founder of the Nerja History Group, saying, "Who says the caves were 'discovered' then? They had been known about for centuries. The Republicans used to hide in them during the Spanish Civil War!" Regardless of when they were 'discovered,' we can agree that 1959 was the year that the local authorities realised what a tremendous tourist potential these amazing connecting caverns possessed. The caves have been of scientific importance also, helping historians to understand very early history. Human remains have been found from the Paleolithic period, around 30,000 years ago. Artefacts from the Neolithic, Copper, Bronze and Iron Ages have been found in the caves. Since 1960, each year the Patronato de la Cueva de Nerja organises and presents an annual Festival of Music and Dance. Past artists have included Dame Kiri te Kanawa, Victoria de Los Angeles, the King's Singers, Montserrat Caballé and Yehudi Menuhim. Two notable years were 1991, when Miistislav Rostropovich's concert was attended by Spanish Queen Sofia, and 1996, when the legendary tenor, Alfredo Kraus, received the longest ovation in the history of the Festival. This year the festival will be held 19th - 23rd July and will feature top artists in jazz, flamenco, ballet and opera. Performances are held in the enormous cavern la Sala de la Cascada, which is named so, because of its many stalactites. Tickets to the Festival de la Cueva de Nerja are difficult but not impossible to obtain.

If you have been to the Caves, burnt yourself at the beaches and would like to find something a bit different to tell you chums about your holiday, then try visiting the Nerja Donkey Sanctuary. They work with the Guardia Civil and SEPE (Sociedad Española para la Protección de los Equinos) to rescue and protect ill, abandoned, neglected or ill-treated donkeys, mules, ponies and horses. The kind-hearted crew has also been helping dogs and cats! They operate entirely with volunteers and have no paid staff. All monies raised go directly to helping animals. Visitors are welcome as their pals (which is what they call their resident equines) are highly social, love company and, as they operate a 'free range' policy, there is plenty of opportunity to mix and play with them. They especially welcome visitors that bring along carrots, lettuce, and apples. There is no admission charge. They have a picnic area and even a 'hospitality' area, where you can get a beer or a glass of wine. Of course, donations are very much appreciated. The Nerja Donkey Sanctuary is a five-minute stroll from the centre of Nerja, along the old N-340 road, heading twoards Torre Del Mar. It is over the old bridge, just on the outskirts of town. They are open 10.00h - 14.00h daily. Saturday nights they are open from 18.00h onwards, when they have BBQ nights, with vegetarians and omnivores catered for.

If you would like to visit the Nerja Donkey Sanctuary or just want more information about their work, call the hard-working-go-out-in-all-weather-day-or-night Harriet on 618 467 575 or 95 252 8466.

Lastly, local psychic Cesar Eneldo has this report: Take heed of the wisdom of Spanish customs; cross the street to stay in the shade, reserve your energy, keep hydrated with plenty of water, and enjoy the luxury of the afternoon siesta. ¡Olé!