We have decided to stay away from the accusations and counter-accusations concerning building development on the coasts… at least on the front page! Instead, we are concentrating on the approaching motorway completion - running in second place to the approaching summer traffic!

Although the official finishing date for the La Herradura - Taramay stretch is spring 2006, some site managers are talking about the end of this year. If that is the case, in Almuñécar at least, then this might be the last summer chaos that we will witness.

The accompanying photograph features the elegant bridge over the Barranco de Ítrabo, which is nearing completion. When we can finally drive along the new coastal motorway, perhaps we should spare a thought for the motorway workers who have lost their lives during its construction.

This is a very politically motivated town, in case you haven't noticed, so just about any news coming out of it, is part of the eternal squabble. Having clarified that, here we go… The PP has criticised the ruling party over the death of policemen and firemen, and regarding their equipment. The spokesman for the party, Juan Luis González, says that the PA has spent two years applying 'stepping back' politics. However, although it is true that there are insufficiencies in both manpower and means within the police/fire service, under the PP and the PSOE, the situation was exactly the same. I point this out, as an independent and impartial observer - and believe me, in Almuñécar, you have to be impartial, if you don't want to become 'collateral damage.'

It doesn't matter how many years you live here, there are street and place names that resist you. You might trot down a street a thousand times but never bother to look up at the plaque to see how it is called. Well, I was surprised to learn that the first part of the Cotobro beach road leading from Chinasol was called Paseo de Chinagorda - it least it was! The Town Hall has decided to rename it so that the whole of that road leading round to Cotobro will be known as El Paseo de Cotobro. Admittedly, the first time that I had heard of Chinagorda - which translates for 'large pebbles' and not fat Chinese woman,' by the way - was with the announcement of a new Marina to be built there.

Last month we managed to squeeze into page five at the very last minute a document that we had received from the ecologists referring to the proposed PGOU. We have since offered the Mayor an opportunity to counter these accusations in the Gazette, but he's a busy man and is seriously distracted by provincial party elections up in Granada at the moment, where he is a bigwig. However, he didn't lose time in countering a similar article published in the Ideal regional newspaper: Benavides calls the ecologists 'ignorant' for criticising the building plan, runs the headline. So, just in case our interview doesn't come off this month, here's what he had to say to the Ideal. The Mayor, Juan Carlos Benavides, says that he can't explain why the ecologist group, Ecologistas en Acción, has publicly requested that the Junta de Andalucía should cancel the Town Hall's urban development capacity. "I would like to know in what they have based this request, because to date, there has not been one court sentence against the Almuñécar Town Hall, concerning 'bad' urban development," he said. He is right, because although the Town Hall has been taken to court on more than one occasion over this affair, the judge has never decided against the Town Hall in its findings. In the Mayor's opinion, the ecologists' request is based on the most absolute ignorance on the subject and that they are part of a 'poison campaign' that has nothing to do with reality. "The Town Hall's urban control is exhaustive," he concluded.

The Town Hall has just given the go-ahead to Hermanos García Motril and Aquascenic to build the Aquarium for 708,750 euros. We mentioned this aquarium project a few months back, which is to be situated under Plaza de Kuwait (behind Radiovision). If you remember, the underground installations under the square was originally for an ice-skating rink, which never came about, principally because the ice kept melting… Anyway, these two companies will have 20 months in which to draw up the plan and build it. The Aquarium will have a 20,000sq/mt floor space, within which there will be two huge 'fish tanks' housing all sorts of marine life. There will also be a reception and even a restaurant included. Hmmm… What will the restaurant be serving? "Mummy, Mummy, I've found a snorkel in my paella!"

I had a chat with somebody once that complained about the state of the animals - the ostriches in particular - up in Peña Escrita. She had a valid point because when I saw them they were in a lamentable state. These things motor across plains, so they are little apt for gorse-covered mountainsides, even if they were let out of their cages. But this point is perhaps dwarfed by the inclusion of a female hippopotamus to the park, simply because it is a freebie from a zoo in the north. These beasties need a lot of water as a habitat - they're river dwellers, hence their name, right? Never mind! Yet, looking at it from a different angle we must take into account that this animal was born into captivity at a zoo in the chilly Cantabria, so it is well acclimatised to cold weather, and certainly colder weather than what Peña Escrita can offer. Furthermore, a lot of time and effort has gone into making this animal at home. We should all individually go up there and form our own opinions, based on what we see, shouldn't we? The park will also be receiving a pair of kangaroos and a few bears.

The níspora harvest kicked off 40% down, which is hardly surprising, given that Winter passed by so close that it frazzled the trees - Winter has never been a keen visitor to this part of the coast. 'Níspora,' you ask, what the hell is níspora? I mean, even if we could settle on a universal spelling for the damned fruit! In the dictionary, you might find 'níspolo,' and the local 'fisnos' (plum-in-their-mouths) will even raise their eyebrows in disdain at the mere yokel utterance of 'níspero.' So let's face it - this is where we live and this is what it is called locally: níspora is the fruit and níspero is the tree. Not convinced? Níspero (Mespilus Germanica also Eriobotrya Japonica, which is our local variety): the meddler plum (European) or loquat (Asian). However, both níspolo and níspolero are accepted, further along the coast (Murcia). Should anybody ask; it's a bleeding plum, mate, right? Furthermore, they're over-rated, finicky to grow and I've forgotten what I was going to say about the harvest, in the first place.

Some are saying - after the conference on the Greco-Latin world here in Almuñécar - that we have become the capital Andaluza de la cultura clásica, which doesn't take much translating, does it? It is certainly the opinion of Antonio Cantudo, who is the secretary of the organisation behind www.culturaclasica.com. Sr. Cantudo is also the Latin teacher at Almuñécar's IES Al Ándalus (secondary school). During the conference, around 130 teachers of Greek and Latin attended from all over Andalucía, as well as from other regions of Spain. Invited to speak was Professor Hans H. Orberg from Denmark, who is an international expert of teaching methods for Latin through 'induction.'

The Seventh Gastronomic Fair will be held next month, in June, between the 3rd and the 5th. We mention it now, just in case we are not out in time that month - we don't want you to miss it! The local hostelry trade has requested this change to the traditional date because it normally coincides with the Primer Comunion ceremonies of many children, making things difficult to organise. This year will see a greater covered area available. There will be a stand of a prestigious restaurant from the province, as 'guest of honour,' to show us how it's done! However, Sr. González Pavesio, who is the councillor-in-charge of the event, points out that this does not mean that the gastronomic fair pretends to be provincial in its scope - just purely local. The fair will count on 30 stalls, 'to avoid overcrowding,' he reasoned. Each participant must pay 150 euros to be included and provide a minimum of three dishes. There will also be two bars, instead of one, this year. The fair will be open on the appointed days from 12.30h to 17.00h & 19.30h to 23.59h, except Sunday, which is the final day, with the fair concluding at 17.00h.

The municipal astronomic observatory, which is/was on the top of a hillside, will be transferred to the old slaughterhouse. Did you know that we had one? Well, it was many years ago that it gave up that unsavoury activity. Quite a few years back it was turned into a sort of community centre, consisting of classrooms and offices for clubs. Our rock band had its practice place there for at least five years. It is also where Juventudes Musicales practises. You can find it on the San Sebastian road, leading up to Torrecuevas. Just after that sort of traffic island-cum-park, there is an indented parking area - that's the place. The Town Hall says that the move had been agreed because of its difficult access - owing to the motorway works - at the original site, above Taramay. It is hoped that its new location will make it much easier for school-groups to visit the installation. Both the Mayor and the Persa Astronomical Club consider that although the new location will provide poorer 'visibility,' this deficiency will be offset by its better 'accessibility.' I can't help wondering what will occupy the observatory's excellent and panoramically privileged building plot? A councillor's weekend retreat, perhaps?

Sr. Benavides, or Benny, if you prefer, is a happy bunny after the Regional Supreme Court (Tribunal Superior de la Junta de Andalucía) found that the Town Hall was justified in not paralysing the construction work on a building project, above La Marina del Este, even though the said buildings had broken several building regulations. Even so, the statistics that the Junta de Andalucía has to hand, demonstrate that Almuñécar is the town with the most court cases open against it for building irregularities, in the whole province of Granada. The Mayor says, on the other hand, that the local council is 'exercising a tremendous effort' to ensure that urban development legality is observed. The TSJA, the Mayor points out, found that the building licence issued by the town authorities was 'completely legal.' The neighbourhood committee for Abencerrajes I lodged an appeal against a court sentence that refused to revoke a building licence for 17 dwellings within Marina del Este, which is what the TSJA has rejected. Benny has taken the opportunity to denounce the opposition's efforts to 'smudge' Almuñécar's name, transmitting a subliminal message that to invest in the town is risky, and that it would be better to do business in the Guadalfeo valley (Salobreña/Motril). He pointed out that everybody knows that there are literally hundreds of illegal constructions there, but not one has been investigated by the Junta. This criticism was made to emphasis the point that Salobreña is governed by the same party as the ruling one in the Regional Government. If this is the case, then the Seaside Gazette could be reasonably included in this bracket, as it has faithfully followed and covered the continuing saga over the Jardines de Adnania scandal. The question is: is blind loyalty a disloyalty?

Water will be going up, with users paying on average 12 euros more a year… what a blow! Yes, 78,000 water users will be paying a spot more come September, but we can't complain, because prices should have gone up 18 months ago, but didn't. This 3.78% increase in your water rates (supply & disposal) is due to an increase in personnel expenditure and investment, says Gabriel Morales, who is the Water Boss for the Costa Granadina. We cannot complain, can we - compare these prices with what you would have to pay back in the UK. This 12-euro increase is based on a family of three or four members, with an average water consumption of 15 cubic metres per month. So we are only talking about one euro a month! Furthermore, if you only occupy your house during part of the year, you are only looking at about 5.40 euros a year. Excuse me whilst I slash my wrists in abject desperation! This 18-month delay has been devastating for the private water company, Aguas y Servicios, because it means that they have been operating in the red. Furthermore, this increase cannot be applied retrospectively, so they have 'lost' quite a bit of money, the poor old watery sods!

Two hundred experts on palliative medical treatment attended a conference on the 24th April at the Casa de la Cultural. This was part of the IV Jornadas Andaluzas de Cuidados Paliativos (treatment for terminally ill patients). It is hoped that within this year the equipment and personnel available for this department in Andalucía can be doubled.

Twenty families are getting very impatient, waiting for their VPO houses to be handed over. VPO means Vivienda de Proteción Oficial, or in other words, Official Protected Housing - council houses, if you prefer. The house, which have been built in a part of town known as Lo Colorao, have been built by the private building company, Visogsa, for the Provincial Council. The eager tenants-to-be are complaining that the houses are virtually finished and nobody seems to want to tell them why they haven't been handed over yet.

Cotobro news: The council of the Entidad de Conservación de Cotobro (ECCO) has decided to go ahead with the renewal and/or new construction of the footpaths on the four main streets of Cotobro, and not await the reconstruction of the containing walls by town hall. Following the public announcement that last Friday the municipal budget had been rejected in the plenum by the opposition parties PP and PSOE, residents of Cotobro received a circular letter from Alcalde, Juan Carlos Benavides, regretting that the town hall works - just at the point of being commissioned to a construction company - had to be cancelled or postponed. The same fate has struck many other projects in the municipality, which were ready to be commissioned. For the past two years, Cotobro residents have been collecting the funds - as part of their annual quotas to the Entidad - for fitting out the thoroughfares of the urbanisation with footpaths. They will be done in red floor tiles in the same style as the Paseo de Cotobro, with several sections being widened to accommodate park benches for resting and enjoying the views of our green village. Once completed, they will offer pedestrians a safe and pleasant foot passage around and through the urbanisation, eventually connecting with the coastal walk leading to Punta de la Mona and Marina del Este. The costs are estimated to total some 80.000 euros. Works are scheduled to commence in the month of June and ECCO begs transiting neighbours to pardon any inconvenience caused while they are under way.

Although it has its critics - as does everything - the sub-aquatic park that is underway just off our beaches is a good idea. It's a good idea because, for example, the artificial reefs will provide protected breeding grounds for our near exhausted in-shore fish stocks. The fishermen have hit out at it, because they say it will damage their nets. Firstly, inshore fishing cannot be carried out above 30mts depth, and as the sub-aquatic park will be at 20mts, they have no right to be there in the first place. Secondly, they have just spent two months in port precisely because there are virtually no fish left! They should be grateful, therefore, of this artificial-reef initiative. Diving clubs and 'underwater' tourism will be a good source of income for the towns of Almuñécar and La Herradura. There are few places in Spain, let alone Europe, that can offer such a spectacular marine panorama as the Costa Granadina, rich in flora & fauna, as well as human history (wrecks, for example). A provincial political spokesman for a Green party has complained that European funds, destined for natural parks is being spent on tourism on the Costa Granadina, clearly referring to Almuñécar's sub-aquatic park. Well, I beg to offer that the conservation of our natural riches must, inevitably, go hand in hand with tourism - it is all about sustainable growth. Tourism invites wider knowledge of our natural parks and their wildlife, and a wider knowledge creates support for public expenditure to preserve them.

Well, it's quite obvious why there is so much 'motorised anarchy' in our streets, because there are only two municipal policemen to keep an eye on nine square kilometres of urban Almuñécar, with its 25,000 inhabitants. Of course there are more municipal policemen on the payroll, but only two of them actually patrol the streets on a daily basis. For this reason, the local police have raised their collective voice in protest - they don't want more money; they just want sane working conditions. Of the 36 policemen in the local police roster, 27 are available still available. The other nine have been moved to administrative jobs in other sectors. The police point out that in 1991 there were 42 policemen in the local force, so things have been sliding downhill since then. The same police source claims that the optimum number should be 70, but the town could still function with 56, which is almost 30 more than we have at the moment. When you split the existing force up into shifts, you are left with only three on duty at any given moment: one in the office taking calls and two out on the streets. That's the personnel side of it - the material side is just as bad. According to the national police union, SIPLA, Almuñécar has only two scooters - of all its vehicles - that are working properly. The rest are in and out of the garages, and have a nasty tendency of leaving them stranded when the policemen most need them. Another patrol car has a broken headlight, which has been that way for months… they had better hope that the Guardia Civil don't catch them!

Before I forget, Irene from Kasbah/Delfin Books, tells me that they are receiving some very good local walking maps, sometime this month. Pop in or give them a buzz, if you're interested (Tel: 958 634 120).

An Almuñequero went down for one year for habitually physically mistreating his wife. He will also have to find 3,220 euros, as well as not approaching within 500 metres of the woman. After a brief shouting match - according to the court finding - he grabbed her by the neck, and scooping up a few of her belongings, threw her out of the flat. When she broke down in tears, he thumped her several times in the face and kicked her. Neighbours alerted the local police, who turned up 'armed with a Guardia Civil presence' and scooped him up and whisked him away to the land of 'sole-beatings and anal intrusions.' She was taken to the local medical centre to be patched up.

Locals and visitors to Jete had a great knees-up at the Bodíjar chapel, up away in the hills. Basically, the idea is to cart the Virgin up there, which is around a dozen kilometres away, for a quick Mass, by which time everybody is either dying of thirst or dead from the physical effort, which is were the wine comes in… bless them! The last man left standing, drags the rest out, switches off the lights and locks the door, before falling off down the side of the valley. It's all great fun, even though the chorizo & morcilla take no gastric prisoners - not to mention the spiteful, sol y sombra's post-event cranial crimes. Amen!

Looking for a job, great salary, plenty of holidays, company car and flexible working hours? Yes? Well, keep looking, then…

The Pozuelo Park in Taramay was duly opened on the 24th, giving the area a very practical attraction for the locals and visitors alike. This public park, with a kiddies' park incorporated, covers some 10,000sq/mts. It is also right next to the BMX cycling circuit and borders the beach - what more could you ask for? Many years ago, this area was occupied by a camping-site. Taramay, which had been long ignored by the successive town halls, has been spoilt wicked recently with an assortment of monuments. However, the installation of three sets of traffic lights within 100 metres of each other, just to the east of the Taramay tunnel, is going to cause traffic jams from hell, just as soon as the traffic flow builds up (at any moment). Needless to say, it will be a miracle if they are co-ordinated, seeing that no others are along the N-340, as it passes through Almuñécar.

Before we start with the habitual political wranglings that flow unceasingly from party spokespeople, let me tell you about something quite insignificant, but refreshing. I had been walking along the pavement and was on the point of over-taking a little, old Spanish man with two walking sticks. He was proceeded by his wife, who although suitably wizen herself, was shuffling along in front of him, leaving an ever-widening gap. I was about to swerve around him, when he shouted irritably to his good woman, "Joder, Mujer! ¿A qué viene esta manía de correr?" (Bloody hell, Woman! What's with this craze for running?). It destroyed me. It also left me contemplative about why I was walking at such a pace, myself - supersonic by comparison. Besides, where I was going was a fixed point; it was hardly likely to escape, was it? Ah! Unconscious rushing - the Clock's scourge! I made a mental note that if I were to live by the clock, I should try to emulate the pace of the minute hand, as opposed to that of the second hand - the hour hand's pace is not compatible with making a living, unfortunately. And let's face it, that's why we came here in the first place, wasn't it - to escape from the Anglo-Saxon Dash.

Passers-by were offered a little unusual entertainment when the Guardia Civil pounced on two men at the main entrance to the village. First reports stated that one was Moroccan and the other Spanish, yet the nationality of the 'Spaniard' was later changed to 'Italian.' The police had been following the drug-trading activities of these men for some time and had decided to arrest them at that moment, with several police vehicles being involved. The police searched the Volkswagen Golf that one of them was driving and found 21 kilos of hashish resin.

More than 160 kids from Las Gaviotas junior school participated in the Crece con tu Árbol scheme (Grow with your Tree), which was sponsored by the Junta de Andalucía. The children had a ball planting trees on the Punta. Some of the saplings were grown at the school, whilst others were provided by the AMA (Environment Agency of Andalucía). Pray, then, Ladies and Gentlemen, that building speculators don't get their way to turn the last green zones on the headland into construction projects. Because if they do, it will have all been for nothing.

The town's new super, stone-spitting, turd-impaling, sand woofer, was proudly shown before the passing public around mid April, next to the Peña Parda beach restaurant. It's like a huge atomic lawn mower, which will drag a terrified council worker around the smaller beaches, where the tractor can't reach. This Darth-Vaderian device, together with a new stone-sorting trailer has cost the Town Hall 30,000 euros and will produce better quality beaches for us to enjoy. It is highly recommended that tourists and visitors display D-Day markings in prominent corporeal places, so as not to be confused with normal beach debris.

The Andaluz health authorities have decided to ignore the two protests staged by villagers, which on both occasions during April cut the main road. The call for a paediatrician, therefore, remains unanswered.

After months and months of discussion, building work and delays, we were relieved to see that the builders and the Ayuntamiento could finally come to some agreement over signing over the new infants' school. Although both sides seemed satisfied that the snagging problems had been sorted out, chatting with a number of parents, it was interesting to note some pretty obvious points which could be improved. For instance, even when on the 13th it came to the actual inauguration of the building (yes; the teachers have actually been threatened with moving into the new premises before this academic year is up!) it was clear that this was the first time children had visited it. I know it's always easy to criticise in retrospect, but surely it would have made things safer for our children, to avoid stones and sand outside, utilising, instead, some artificial ground cover that would be more durable and comfortable. All this loose earth, combined with the water fountain, is going to make for some really interesting mud baths each and every day. Then, of course, there's the issue of heating the school during our winter months - we appreciate the high ceilings for ventilation, but they are going to need some pretty serious heaters once it gets cold - why didn't they install some permanent heating and cooling system at this point, so that we're prepared for either extreme? And what about the fences surrounding the schoolyard? With the property bordering the base of the N340, it really would have shown more foresight to have placed a better barrier to capture any debris raining down. Time will tell, I suppose, but it's encouraging to note how many parents are taking an active interest and (perhaps even more importantly), verbalising their concerns. Let's keep an eye on how things develop, be positive and encouraging and see how our children comfortably adapt with their dedicated teachers.

Children and parents marched from the school grounds up to the N340 to voice concerns and push for an adequate level of medical support. Starting at 09.00h and comprising of at least 100 activists, this determined group managed to block the carretera (a national route) for over an hour, as a display of their dissatisfaction with current paediatric support in the village. Only available for less than half the working week, this restricted supply of a paediatrician can obviously mean the difference between life and death, given that you just never know the condition of the N340 between La Herradura and Almuñécar. And at a time when the village seems to be vulnerable to frightening diseases such as meningitis, this issue over paediatric support is more important than ever. Lets see how the authorities from the Department of Social Security in Motril respond to the parents' demands.

Spanish lessons are available for foreigners, provided by the Town Hall. Parents and others based in Almuñécar and La Herradura will be delighted to learn that the Ayuntamiento is set to organise Spanish lessons. For further details, you can call 655 692 627 and 655 600 742. Alternatively, you can pop into the Social Services centre, located behind the petrol station and right next door to the Centro de Salúd in Almuñécar. You'll need to make an appointment with Ana on phone number 958 634 050.

Heard any rumblings through the village? Were you aware that about 30 German Harley Davidson aficionados landed at the Almijara Hotel for four days during April? Part of a brilliant initiative by the Hotel to develop a wide range of tourist markets, I was astonished to learn that the group had even arrived, let alone spent as many days here. I must admit, I did have visions of Hells' Angels (albeit the middle-aged version) storming through the narrow streets and the beach front. Nothing could have been further from the truth. Preconceptions... moi? Well done on a successful visit, Maria-Luisa and Jorge, plus team!

Pepe is yet another successful wine critic in the village, with his restaurant and bar, Jannot, enjoying the reputation as a popular haunt among locals for some time now. Located at the eastern end of La Herradura's bay (just next to the guardería) it is a brilliant spot for hearty meals, as well as a casual drink. With a freshly authentic, homemade Plato del Día on offer every day, as well as a brilliant wine selection, sporting about 30 different quality wines, this venue can promise you genuine Spanish hospitality at an affordable price. And now, with recent renovations, which give you the option of a simple drink and snack at the bar, relaxed dining outside, or more intimately inside, there's even more reason to visit. Open every day of the week, except Mondays.

Yes it's official: Oasis is open for business. Located in the heart of La Herradura village (take the right fork immediately after the Hotel Almijara) this bar is being promoted with an international flavour. And, I have to say, with the efforts of Caroline, Mick, Naomi, Rob, Graham and Gaynor on the night of their official launch on the 9th of April, the Flamenco and paella, reasonably priced drinks and atmosphere generally combined very well. Let's hope that the popularity continues, since there's a lot planned for the coming weeks. Not only is the team encouraging amateur talent and general fun in the village by holding weekly jam sessions on Sunday afternoons (some hidden talents have already emerged!), but there's an 'All-you-can-eat, Curry Night' planned for Friday 20th May from 20.00h onwards (you need to buy tickets by Wednesday 18th at ten euros a head, including a glass of house wine or a tubo of Mahou). Many of you will know singer and guitar-player Russell Nash, who will also be appearing on the evening of June 4th. Once again at the end of June, the popular local flamenco group Las Corales will be strutting their stuff. So there's plenty to satisfy a wide range of tastes and cultures.

At the west end of La Herradura's bay, Las Arenas has enjoyed a spectacular position for a number of years. What makes it different in recent weeks is that it has been operating under the attentive eye of Luis, who previously enjoyed great success in the Hostal, further down the beach. And now the delicious emphasis under this enthusiastic team (see photo where Luis is accompanied by Liliana, Ana and José) includes a wide variety of rice dishes, homemade desserts and good quality wines. Serving food from 13.00h to 14.30h and from 20.00h to 23.30h, Las Arenas will also be offering music during the summer. Watch out for the flyers in coming months.

Big moves to sort out the loading & unloading parking facilities around town are afoot. There was a meeting between representatives of stock delivery companies, the local police and the Councillor for Traffic on the 26th April. It is calculated that in Nerja around 150 vehicles are distributing goods every day, quite a few of which have to tackle congested areas. It has been agreed that existing loading/unloading spaces (zonas de carga y descarga) will have to be modified and that there will be a map issued that will show such areas. Perhaps it is about time that a central depot is brought into being, under Town Hall management, which will distribute to the various establishments during the night hours. It will be very inconvenient for business owners, but will cut down medium and heavy traffic within the town during daytime hours. A symbolic/cheap charge could be levied to provide this service. Something akin to the 'Tropical Train' could be used for this purpose. By the way, if you didn't know, that is what the yellow initials C y D mean - Carga y Descarga.

A German man, whose initials are T.M., was arrested for allegedly causing 'domestic violence.' He has been accused of Actual Bodily Harm and the illegal possession of firearms. He is accused of physically abusing his five-month-pregnant wife, as well as his own mother. At the moment of arrest the police found a loaded 9mm pistol in his car, together with a 151gram ball of hashish resin and 19.955 euros in a plastic bag.

Bar and restaurant owners down on Burriana Beach are complaining about the unwanted presence of stray dogs, some of which are quite vicious. Rafael Rivas, who is the Councillor for just about everything, says that the municipal stray-dog-catching squad have picked up about 15 already, in only one week. Sr. Rivas also pointed out that municipal regulations forbids the presence of dogs and other animals on the beaches for hygiene and safety reasons, but that many people pay no attention to this ban.

Nerja Mayor, José Alberto Armijo, has asked for a meeting with the Councillor for Public Works and Transportation, Concepción Gutiérrez del Castillo, to talk about the approved, but yet to materialise, Nerja Marina. The Nerja Town Hall is keen that 'Nerja's interests' are kept in mind during the design and construction of the port.

The residents of the Rio de la Miel and Loma de las Cuardrillas, just east of Nerja, will have telephone service, thanks to a new mobile telephone antenna for that area. The only option before this mobile antenna was fixed telephone lines, which did not always provide satisfactory quality communication. Lines would get damaged and residents would wait a long time before repairs were made. This has left the people of this historic region feeling completely 'incomunicado.' Between the tenth and fourteenth centuries, this area was an important seat of Arabic power, culminating with a small fort known as Los Castillejo, whose ruins can still be seen. Perhaps we should consult historic records to find out what techniques they used to insure communication!

The Central Government will invest 4.5m euros in the five Málaga-province Paradores. The Nerja Parador will receive 1,766,880 euros of this money. Amongst the Paradores in Andalucía, the Nerja Parador had the second-highest amount of guests, 19,331, during 2004. Only the Ronda Parador accommodated more people in 2004 with 32,505 guests.

The Junta de Andalucía has once again given permission, based on the large amount of summer holiday makers, for Nerja's commercial establishments to extend their opening hours over July, August and the first half of September. Traditionally, extended shop hours continue until mid October. Along with the extended opening-hours comes a reminder from the Junta that the Nerja Town Hall must continue to enforce noise controls including a Noise Control Technician to administer the sanctions against the lawbreaking noisemakers. One question? Will this law be applied to scooter bike owners or just music bars?

According to the Nerja Foreigners Office, registered, foreign residents with the Town Hall will reach or surpass 5,000 this month. Not surprisingly, British citizens are the most numerous with 1,992, with Argentineans second with 615 registered. Germans, Swedish, Moroccans, Belgians. Norwegians, French, Italians and Chinese follow in numbers registered.

Now that you have registered at the Town Hall, how about learning Spanish? The Nerja Centre for Adult Education is offering Spanish courses and is planning to feature a classroom for foreigners. Juan Antonio López Roca, the centre's coordinator, notes that many foreigners start Spanish courses but that many drop out. For more information about the Spanish courses available, inquire at the Centro Giner de los Rios on Calle Diputación 6, which is just up from Plaza Cavana.

Despite the protests of Nerja's Tuesday-Market vendors, the market site will be moved to the Barranco de Traqueones next to the Urbanización Flamingo, according to José Miguel Jimena of the Nerja Town Hall. Unmoved by the numerous reasons that the market vendors delineated, as to why the venue should not be changed, Sr. Jimena claims that the new Flamingo site is ideal and points out that in Chaparil 'great chaos was caused in the traffic and the neighbours were constantly bothered.'

Thanks to the actions and investigations by the Guardia Civil and the Nerja Local Police, ongoing produce thefts at avocado farms and greenhouses in the Nerja area have stopped. The theory local farmers are telling is that the thieves must have been so intimidated by the highly visible police actions that they chose to stop stealing the 'forbidden fruits.'

With an investment of 100.000 euros, the Nerja cemetery, San Miguel, will be able to enlarge by 205 greatly needed niches, according to Town Hall engineers. The Junta will be asked to help defray the cost involved with the enlargement.

The Nerja Town Hall has agreed to a four-year sponsorship of local athlete, Alvaro Fernández. The athlete will receive 27,000 euros the first year, 30,000 the second, 33,000 the third and 35,000 the fourth year. In exchange, Alvaro promises to stay with the Nerja athletics club, Cuevas de Nerja, for the next four years. He also will feature NERJA on all his uniforms at the 'most visible' places and he promises to mention Nerja at all of his sports events, interviews and public appearances.

RSA 99.1FM will be featuring live interviews with classical musicians this month. Highlights include violinists Leo Payne and Sally Fenton will be on So Long Oolong May 19th at 16.00h, talking about upcoming concerts and playing live for radio listeners. On May 18th at 17.00h classical pianist, Daniel Fichera, will be interviewed. No word if he plans to bring along his 88-string guitar, I mean, uh, piano.

Local psychic, Cesar Eneldo, has reported his latest vision: Two enthusiastic extranjeras, one young and one - well, not - are on a tall mountaintop balancing a large antenna. What does this mean? You will have to hear to find out!

Tropicana being victimised: April 4th was the start of a baaaad week for the residents of the Urbanizacíón Tropicana. Let us start from the end: On Friday 8th April the roads were blocked for builders to access with big trucks, cement mixers and the like. Generally, the Tropicana roads are in a very bad state. It is not clear who owns them: public or private. When they need repairing, they are private. When some disruption is needed, they are public. It seems they are still the property of the original developer, who never maintains them. Builders who destroy the road just disappear and never repair them either. On the day before, April 7th, the water was cut off again. This is such a regular occurrence that the local committee has a direct telephone line with Aqualia to call them even in the night. This time the water cut-off was due to an event that happened the day before. On the afternoon of April 6th, a fire started in the green zone between Urbanizacíón Tropicana and Casablanca, where building works are in progress. Several witnesses have come forward to say that a few moments before, some British children were gathering rubbish from the local building site. Coincidence? A lighter was thrown over into a resident's garden. Coincidence? The fire started small but soon became fierce, as it consumed the canes and shrubs in the green zone. Fortunately, and to their credit, the Protección Civil, the local police, the Guardia Civil were there very quickly, worked very fast and got the fire under control.

However, the ashes were still smouldering for a couple of days. It was reported that a British family decamped with their teenagers the night after, much before the end of their stay. Coincidence?

A description of the children allegedly involved, was given to the police. All parties, authorities, residents, gardeners, all agreed that British children from nearby Punta Lara were involved and they had been seen playing around before. Allegedly.

In conclusion, everybody who witnessed the events remarked that:

1) Letting children roam around building sites is not a very smart parental decision: accidents are waiting to happen and who will blame whom.

2) It's regrettable that some parents today don't seem to care or want to control their offspring: nobody here wants the anti-social behaviour order culture; rife in UK, to be exported to these shores.

3) The question was posed if a press campaign would be necessary to keep any anti-social British- and other nationalities- away, now that the tourist season is coming.

At the end of the week, the tranquil residents of Urbanizacíón Tropicana were wondering what they had done to deserve to be victimised in such a way.

Sam Taylor, one of the hottest debut novelists in the UK this year, has said that he may move to Spain, and possibly the Axarquía, for a years or so. Sam's revelation came when he was interviewed on the Words & Music, books and song-writing programme on Radio Sol de Almijara, RSA 99.1FM. His first novel, the Republic of Trees, has enjoyed much critical acclaim, since its release in March, and a film deal has now been struck with Little Bird - the Dublin-and-London-based co-producers of the Bridget Jones's Diary. Sam's parents, Keith and Pat, live in Nerja, and he himself is mulling over a break from living in France to work on a third novel, now that the first is published and a second one is nearing completion.

Despite its name, Nerja's Day of the Cross is not a seminar for malcontents but rather a fun fiesta when neighbours join together to design and decorate a cross with flowers. Traditional dress, food, drinks and music accompany the flower filled atmosphere. Pop by the Nerja Tourist Office on the morning of Dia de la Cruz, May 3rd, for a map highlighting the locations of the crosses. Last year saw outstanding displays on Calle Carabeo and Calle La Parra So, put on your polka-dotted dress or your bolero jacket and come join the fun!

Grupo Vocal Cantilena, after a successful season featuring early and other a cappella music, has decided to start preparation on the elegant and ethereal Requiem by Gabriel Faure. Interested? Call 95 252 0003

'Boredom is the root of all evil.' Kierkegaard. So, want to escape boredom and not be 'evil'? Try the Nerja Cultural Centre! They feature a variety of outstanding concerts on a regular basis. One music aficionado remarked after a recent piano concert that the level of performance was equal or better than any major concert hall in London. However, ticket prices cannot compare. Tickets cost as low as 7 euros. Now, compare that to London concert hall tickets!

The Lion's-Club-organised Sunday Car Boot Sale had its last hurrah at its Chaparil venue 24th April. Many of the regulars at the market were heard lamenting over the move and predicting doom and gloom. Now repeat after me, 'Change is good!' I am willing to give the new market site a try, how about you? If only we can find it….

What is it that attracts both music lovers and, well, music haters to Burriana Beach? Several of the bars and restaurants like to feature live music much to everyone's delight! However, evidently a music grinch spends one month a year at an apartment in the area, fulfilling their mission of squashing out music. The musicians offered to stop playing at an hour earlier of 23.00h, but that was not enough for the music grinch. Negotiations are continuing and we will keep you informed. One question - would it not be a thought for the Town Hall to issue more live music licences, but clearly delineating and enforcing soundproofing requirements? That could make everyone happy.

Manfred Hojer, the multi-award-winning, German, fencing champion, will be visiting the Nerja Fencing Club again this month. His enthusiasm for fencing is contagious - an hour with him and you will be inspired to swing from chandeliers or even fluorescent light fixtures. Interested in fencing? Call Paula 95 252 0003

Jose Manuel Cabezas, head of the English Department at the IES Sierra de Almijara, is up to his old tricks again - trying to foster understanding and appreciation between different nationalities and cultures. Last year, his students presented an outstanding exhibition on the United Kingdom. This year his students have prepared an exhibition about the United States. The closing day is always the highlight of these exhibitions, featuring speakers, musicians and dancers!