The Consejero de la Presidencia de la Junta de Andalucía, Gaspar Zarrías, made it abundantly clear, especially to Almuñécar’s Mayor, Juan Carlos Benavides, that the town’s PGOU (Urban Development Plan) is being scrutinized from Sevilla.

Gaspar Zarrías (pictured above) took advantage of his visit to Almuñécar to make the Junta’s posture very clear. As long as the PGOU is kept within the bounds of legality, then there should be no problems. However, the Junta will permit no abuse of authority (on the part of the Town Hall).

“As long as things are carried out correctly, respecting the law and that the project is environmentally 'sustainable', then there shouldn’t be any problems,” he said, adding, “on the other hand, if the PGOU is not kept within these parameters, then it will have to be rectified, if it is to be approved.”

Gaspar Zarrías took pains to point out that the Junta only seeks the well being of the townsfolk. He also pointed out that, besides the PSOE (his own party), there is an ample citizen movement, whose intention it is to stop somebody ruining Almuñécar.

“This someone might think that the past and present is in the hands of one person, whereas the future, in particular, belongs to the majority of the citizens of Almuñécar,” he concluded. Sr. Gaspar certainly wasn’t taking any prisoners, nor was he willing to return to Sevilla without making it clear that the spot light was on Almuñécar’s very controversial Plan General de Ordenanza Urbana (Urban Development Plan).

“I’m not saying that this is another Marbella (meaning the widespread corruption within the local authorities, with cases of bribes and rampant, illegal building developments, Ed.) but we are going to put into play all the relevant mechanisms to ensure that things are carried out according to the law.”

So, what did the Mayor, Juan Carlos Benavides, have to say about this visit from one of the Regional Government’s top figures? The Mayor totally rejected Sr. Zarrías comments and asked him for a little democratic decency. He also suggested that Sr. Zarrías might like to talk about the two pelotazos (scandals), corresponding to the PSOE’s time in office in Almuñécar, namely, Hotel Velilla Park and Al Mariote (two projected hotels that were turned into apartment blocks before they were even finished, Ed.)

“Suspiciously, these two pelotazos correspond in time to the PSOE’s acquiring its new party offices in Almuñécar,” he added.

He went on to claim that the old Cine Coliseo, (a listed building) was demolished and turned into another apartment block with the support and complicity of the PSOE. He asked how Sr. Zarrías could speak of someone controlling the town, when 17 of the town’s 21 councillors (PA 11, PP 7 and PSOE 5) approved the PGOU.

The Mayor made many more rhetorical questions - too many to list, but all along the same lines, i.e., who is the PSOE to point the accusing finger.

In conclusion, it is apparent to even the blind, deaf and dumb, that the battle lines have been drawn. The trouble is, the Almuñequeros are set to become collateral damage; pawns on the chessboard.

Judges appear to be like the captains of 18th century RN ships – gods, with the infallibility status of a pope! I mean, what do you think of the judge that didn’t consider it to be a crime, to have thrown away a lit cigarette butt, in the middle of August, in the middle of brushwood and tinder-dry grass, which in this instance caused a fire that erased 2,147 hectares – not surprisingly. The Judge said that it was OK, because it was an unintentional fire, i.e., an accident. Do you know which fire I’m referring to? It was the one in 1999, down at the Junta de los Rios, known amongst the foreign crowd as the Otívar waterfalls. The Judge sentenced that the culprit had been ‘unfortunate’ with his aiming, when he flicked the butt towards the river… and missed. Let’s get this right: middle of August, bone-dry undergrowth, high winds and you just lazily flick a lit cigarette in the general direction of a river. If you remember the culprit had been squatting to carry out his necessities, so he didn’t bother to stand up to make sure that the cigarette had reached its objective. OK, so it was not premeditated arson, but for God’s sake, at least it could be considered as an act of gross imprudence, no? Well, no… better luck next time, my good man, and see if you can brush up on your accuracy. What a bloody joke! The judge at the Motril magistrate court considered it to have been a case of ‘a flagrant lack of attention and care.’ Fortunately, the sentence is not final, as it can be appealed against, before the provincial courts in Granada. This summer, Spain and Portugal have burned as never before and even after cries for harsher treatment of culprits by every political party; from the PM to the Mayors of townships, a judge gives this sort of message to all those pyro-idiots around the country. God save us next summer.

So what is going to happen to the old medical centre, once the new one comes into operation – whenever that will be! The Partido Popular has proposed that it should be turned into a civic centre, just as soon as it is handed over to municipal ownership. This way, there would be a room/office for just about every club or association in town. Not a bad idea, at all, is it?

Ecologistas en Acción filed an unusual complaint… Better said, a complaint about an unusual activity. According to them, the artificial grass in the football ground next to the municipal football stadium is being watered! Why artificial grass should need to be watered is one thing, but if on top of that we have a very serious drought upon us, it beggars belief.

And whilst on the subject of the aforementioned ecologists, it is worth mentioning that they have also accused the Councillor for Tourism of carrying out allegedly unauthorised work on Hotel Najarra, where he is a business partner. No response has been heard from either the man in question or the Town Hall as to the whereabouts of the necessary building permit.

It looks as if Juan Luis González Montoro, the leader of the local PP and ex-mayor of Almuñécar, has a struggle for party leadership on his hands. José María Sánchez Romera, like Sr. González, is a lawyer by profession. Sr. Sánchez says that although he is standing as a candidate for party chairman, he has no intention to run for mayor. All will be decided after we have gone to print, on the 30th September.

Lentejí is getting a new perimeter lane to the north of the village. The route already exists as a wide, unmetalled track but the Town Hall intends to tarmac this often-used lane, at a cost of some 54,000 euros. Most of you who know this village and Otívar will know which forest track we’re referring to: it is the one that starts off on the opposite side of the main access road to the village cemetery, and leads up and around to the municipal swimming pool. The track also branches off before arriving there to run above Otívar.

The ongoing saga of the new – but non-operative - hospital on the P-4 took a new turn at the very beginning of September. All the local press and a herd of curious townsfolk gathered in front of the building, when the Mayor, standing shoulder to shoulder with all the councillors (and three PP councillors), inaugurated the hospital. Well, better said, a speech was made and a ribbon was cut, but the hospital itself is without water and electricity supplies, as well as all the medical apparatus necessary. So why this ‘symbolic’ opening of the unfinished hospital? It was a thumbing of the nose at the Servicio Andaluz Sanitario, or in other words, the regional health authorities. The Mayor announced before the gathering, “From here on, it is up to the Junta de Andalucía, which has only put up 25% of the costs of the building, to furnish it. We are no longer going to accept excuses, postponements and sterile controversies.” No representative of the Junta was present for the inauguration. The Junta says that it has not ‘accepted’ the hospital into its service because the Town Hall has not submitted the necessary documentation (project etc). In the meantime, Almuñécar has to count on an ageing medical centre beside the town’s only gasoline station, with many patients having to make their way to Motril for any kind of specialised treatment.

At the Council Meeting on the 20th September, an underground parking facility for 420 parking spaces was approved. The car park will be situated between the Aquatropic water park and the Meson Antiguo. It will be on two floors, the first floor having room for 206 cars and on the second, 215. The parking area will have a total floor space of 9,100sq/mts. It might be worth mentioning that the whole of the area between Fuente Piedra (Las Gondolas) and the beginning of Velilla is reclaimed land. In other words, a little over 30 years ago it was part of the sea. I distinctly remember around the beginning of the eighties, lorry after lorry dumping building rubble and loads of earth on where the water park now stands… Just a thought.

You might have noticed, if you have passed by that way, that the bird park, Loro Sexi, is having a facelift. The reason behind this was more to bring the bird park into line with the laws that govern zoos, rather than a sprucing up after the broadsides of the 18 passing years of its existence. Space is too tight to explain what the changes have been, so best you pop around and have a shufty, if you are interested.

Power to the People! Otívar – that swinging metropolis up in the hills – will have a social/cultural centre by 2007. Do you know Otívar? If you do, it’s easy to describe where. Take the first entrance to the village that leads to the Era. About halfway down on the left there is what looks like a bungalow-type building with three arches.. This house, which is to be demolished, is known as la casa de El Cantor. The new building will have three floors, containing a bar-cafetería, dining room, a conference hall, offices and a small ‘ethnological’ museum, in other words a museum for ‘traditional rural life’ or local history.

Talking of Otívar, the project for the Otívar Dam has poked its inquisitive head out of the burrow of ‘Projects Forgotten.’ Benny, knowing what noises to make and how loud, has proposed that the Almuñécar Town Hall should be allowed to carry out the project, as neither national nor regional authorities appear to have the slightest intention of doing it themselves. It might be interesting to note, that as of the 28th September the present drought passed from being the worst in 40 years to the worst in 120 years. Not bad, eh? The idea of building a dam near Cázulas, just below La Junta de los Ríos (La Fábrica Sierra, to be precise) goes back to 1974, when Franco was on his last legs. Because there had been extensive flooding in 1973, people up in Granada started mumbling about building a dam. Six years passed and the Town Hall requested that the Ministry of Public Works should carry out a feasibility study, draw up plans, and build the bloody thing. In 1983 it was announced in the BOE (Boletín Oficial del Estado or Official National Gazette) that the said Ministry had accepted the idea and would look into it. Three years later the Mayor reminded the Ministry about the dam and requested an ‘impulse’ to the project. Silence. The following year the Town Hall tried the Regional Authorities in Sevilla. Silence. In 1990 it was agreed in a council meeting to request that Madrid included the Otívar Damn in the national budget for that year. Six years later, the technical project for the dam was approved by the Ministry that governs water resources in the land, La Dirección General de Obras Hidráulicas, then silence again. September 2005: forget it; we’ll do it ourselves. It is, of course, an empty gesture because there is no way that such a project can be financed from the municipal coffers. It would be akin to the coastal towns of Granada telling Madrid after a 30-year delay not to bother with the motorway, because they would do it themselves during their lunch breaks and Sunday mornings. Where is Almuñécar going to find 36m euros? In one of our local politician’s weekend villas, under the floorboards?

The hotel that is under construction on the main road, just up from the Guardia Civil posts, has run into trouble again. Work on the Hotel Mediterraneo recommenced around the beginning of this year, after having been frozen for nearly a year for ‘encroaching onto public land, i.e., too close to the main road. Now it has been hit for ‘adding floors’ that were not on the Town Hall-approved plans.

As part of the - what appears to be - personal vendetta between Almuñécar’s ruling party and the environment authorities up in Granada, The 63 dwellings for young couples along the San Sebastian road (Laderas de Castellar) have been put on hold and all building work has ceased. The Junta de Andalucía - the provincial delegate, Gerarado Sánchez, to be more precise, considers that there have been irregularities in the reclassification of building land… Well, of course there has – this is Almuñécar, for God’s sake! Basically, the building developers, El Cercado de la Santa Cruz, received the go ahead to build the luxury complex on the hill above the Santa Cruz primary school – there is to be a five-star hotel and God knows how many posh villas. In exchange, the company had to cede part of the land to the Town Hall for ‘social use,’ in this case, for a mini council estate for young couples, where a 100sq/mts flat would cost only 90,000 euros. The plot for the council estate was classified as ‘industrial,’ (i.e., fruit warehouses) but the Town Hall saw no problem in reclassifying it as ‘residencial,’ without asking permission from the Comisión Provincial. And therein lies the problem.

Oh but the jellyfish won’t go away! The local Red Cross announced that they had attended 5,229 bathers up to mid September for jellyfish stings. They’re still there now… frolicking in the surf, as October looms. That figure, by the way, is equivalent to one fifth of the population.

What’s what most annoys you here? The noise! What type of noise most annoys you? The bloody screaming mopeds! You’re not alone! And if you’re interested in finding out who else is complaining and would also like to actively do something about it, then pop into see Oliver at Inter Coast real-estate agents, map spot 32. That’s the one on the left-hand branch of the fork in Calle Real. (The main street leading down from the town-hall square.)

A Twentieth Anniversary
Have you ever wondered about the statue underneath El Santo (the cross on the rock)? You know; the Arab chappy, whose hand is almost as big as his head? Well, that’s Abd al-Rahman I (734 - 788), or Abderramán I, as he is called here. The statue, by the way, is the work of Miguel Moreno Romera, a local sculptor, and was erected in 1984. Abby – to his mates – was a Syrian hot shot, belonging to the Omayyad Dynasty that governed Damascus. On June 25th, 750, the Abbasis decided to do some serious family culling, which left only Abby alive. Having a keen sense of ‘knowing when not welcome,’ he legged it pretty smartish to modern-day Morocco.

Once there, he just happened to mention to the lads in Moorish Spain that he wouldn’t mind holidaying on the Costa Tropical and after being given the nod, landed on one of Almuñécar’s beaches. Of course, if he had tried that stunt today, he would find himself on the next flight back to Morocco, armed with a Red Cross blanket and chease roll.

Anyway, finding the locals thoroughly bored with Sun, Sea and Sex, he decided to enlist the help of other like-minded souls and take out the Governor of Córdoba, i.e., the resident, cushion-squatting, hash & chicks connoisseur, answerable to Damascus. Having achieved this, he established the first independent Caliphate of the time, and was duly proclaimed Emir.

Now this is where Benny comes into the picture… not in 756, but in the early 1980’s, admittedly. Benny, sensing that the Middle-Eastern descendants – who are not short of a penny – might be pleased to find a small Spanish town paying homage to a seventh century Sand-Hopper, tells Miguel Moreno, a local lad, to knock up a statue, at town hall expenses, but not to allow it to go to his head. No doubt, this warning had some subconscious effect on the design of the statue… Who knows? Benny, also renamed a couple of squares around town: Damascus and Kuwait. And before you know it, Almuñécar was hosting the first Encuentro Hispano Árabe! Who do you think paid the best part of the restoration to the San Miguel Castle…? Yes, you’ve guessed it – Grateful Damascus.

So, here we find ourselves, 20 years later, celebrating the 1,250th anniversary of Abby hitting the beach at Almuñécar. This will take place between the 20th and 22nd of this month. The congress will count on the collaboration of the Syrian Embassy and the Syrian Cultural Institute in Madrid.

All my black humour aside, it is heartening to see these kinds of meetings and celebrations between two cultures, even though certain elements in the world seek to divide them.

You La Herradureños have got to get out there are do more newsworthy things. I know that you’re only a few thousand inhabitants, but there is a limit to how many times we can mention the Junior School Saga or the Paseo! Can’t you draw straws and rob a bank, or something? What about mysterious extraterrestrial images drawn on the beach? I suppose that I could always make something up…. Village bar owner claims, “My wife was kidnapped by aliens, ravished and turned into a geranium – they charged me 1,000 euros, but it was worth it. On the down side, I no longer speak to my plants… they’ve started nagging me.” Anyway; on with the news…

The village will soon be seeing new bank branches sprout, because the Caixa and Caja de Ahorros del Mediterráneo (CAM) will be opening new branches. These will be in Eucaplipto and Prieto Moreno, close to the seafront and other banks. Almuñécar will also see more banks. Cajamadrid will be opening its first branch there. Cajamar has acquired the old Yinch restaurant, just below the post office. Does somebody know something that our pockets don’t?

The Estación Náutica, which is the diving headquarters for the Costa Tropical, will be promoting the watery wonders and hydraulic highlights of our salty neighbour on national TV channels. Four eight-minute mini programmes will be aired on both the main state-owned channel, TVE, and the independent nationwide channel, Telecinco, come March 2006.

We shall now be left to the tender – better said, ‘inexistent’ – mercy of the local police, now that the summer Guardia Civil office in the municipal market/Centro Río Jate has closed down for the year. This police post operated from the 1st June, through to the 15th September, attending to some 300 ‘clients.’ So, the villagers will, again, have to traipse over to Almuñécar every time that they need paperwork that requires a Guardia Civil stamp.

The police came across the body of a man in an advanced state of decomposition, when they were busy trying to retrieve the body of a motorist, whose car had fallen down a cliff. A man from Granada had parked just a little too close to a cliff in the Maro area. This wasn’t a sudden fall, mind, because, according to witnesses, the driver had been trying for about twenty minutes to get his front wheels back on firm ground, before plummeting down 100 metres to the sea. Although the man was flung clear of the vehicle before it impacted below, he did not survive the ordeal, dying some minutes later. And this is where the second body comes into it. The Guardia Civil had sent a team down to retrieve the driver, when they found a second body floating in the water. The cadaver was dressed in trousers and a chequered shirt.

Sneaky! The Town Hall has proposed to the appropriate ministry up in Madrid and to the company that is carrying out the construction of the autovia (commonly referred to as the ‘motorway,’ whereas it is really a ‘dual-carriageway) that the municipal body should be allowed to ‘urbanise’ the area between the autovia and the old N-340, all along the length of the connecting road. The reason given being that this will allow the access road ‘to be adequately illuminated and furnished with a pavement and greenery.’ The Nerja/La Herradura section of the autovia is nearing completion, with the tarmacking and finishing touches to the access roundabout. The only heavy, earth-shifting work, left to be done is at the Maro end. In other words, Ladies and Gentlemen, the Town Hall would appear to have made the generous offer of providing a few streetlights, shrubs and pavements in exchange for being allowed to slip in six billion flats, no doubt. I am, perhaps, given to unjustifiable sarcasm – on the other hand, it is equally possible that the Town Hall shouldn’t be trusted in the dark!

La Herradura still appears to be able to pull the famous and the glamorous, with visits from top politicians like the Minister for Industry and Tourism, José Montilla, or the Baroness Thyssen, who kindly posed for our cherished Gazette photograph! Don’t forget that Spain’s PM (then chief opposition leader) José Luis Zapatero (known as ‘cobblers’ to his mates) also soaked his unspeakables in the fair, horseshoe bay of La Herradura! The Mayor of Madrid, Alberto Ruiz Gallardón, often spends part of the summer here… barging into queues and frightening the children. So, what with more and more banks opening up shop here, and the rich and famous parking their knocking barges just off our beaches, it can’t be all that bad, can it?

Just because the lads in the Town Hall are bent on sinking Looney Tunes galleons along the seabed in the hope of attracting window-faced bubble blowers from all over Europe, it doesn’t mean that there aren’t real sunken galleons down there already! A group from Granada has been hard at work in search of La Capitana, which went down in 1562 in La Herradura bay. History has it that on the 19th October of that year, 31 galleons set out from Málaga under Juan Mendoza, on course for Oran. The fleet was caught just off Cantarriján by a storm. The galleys, manned by slaves, sought shelter in La Herradura bay, but a sudden shift in the wind sent them crashing into each other, sinking them. Around 5,000 souls were believed to have perished and 28 galleons went to the bottom. Miguel Cervantes y Saavedra – one time galley slave himself and author of the universal work, Don Quijote – mentioned the sad event in his manuscripts. And if you did not already know it, the sculptures near the wooden pier depict the shipwrecks, as well.

Congratulations to Marga and Sam! That popular couple who run the language academy Idiomas el Mar in the village are delighted to announce the safe arrival of a wonderful baby boy. Marc, weighing in at 3.64kgs, joined us in this world at 5am on the morning of Monday 12th September. Our warmest congratulations to the new family and Welcome, or was that Bienvenido, or Bienvenue, maybe Willkommen!

Oh no! Where do I get my caffeine fix now? Don’t panic, Isla de Capri in La Herradura want to remind customers that they are only taking a brief and well-deserved rest. Business will resume as usual on the 7th October.

British spiritual mediums will be visiting Andalucía from 1st to 13th November. Sally Richardson and Elaine Carter will be here for two weeks, offering spiritual support to those who feel the need for contact with a world beyond this one. They will be providing in-depth private readings at 40 euros. Alternatively, demonstrations of the mediumship will take place at various locations to be advised. These will cost 25 euro per person. Each consultation may be organised by appointment only, through Lee on 654 856 529.

The first stone has been laid for La Herradura’s new Pabellón de Deporte Thursday 22nd September saw a reasonable crowd of officials and notable townsfolk of La Herradura trudge their path down into what was formally nothing but a chirimoyo plantation. The new sports pavilion is going to be located (standing with the sea at your back) way behind and to the right of the land used during the summer, as temporary car parking space, just before the bridge outside Las Gaviotas. Whew - it gets complicated pinpointing areas when there aren’t the street signs in place - or is it just me? Anyway, it gives you some idea of the degree of infrastructure that is going to be needed to accompany this venture to access the facility once it is built. Oops … another slight snagging problem is that while Benavides and the technical architects were mumbling over the plans, it became quite evident that the drawings not only appeared to be missing a scale (again, I might not be an architect or designer, but that seemed a fairly fundamental omission to me!), but from the way the building was portrayed, the playing field was literally right up to the boundary of the construction itself. Oh well, I guess that’s one way of ensuring fewer fouls! Everyone in attendance, including Benavides’ representative in La Herradura, our very own Marie Victoria, seemed well pleased with the multi-purpose possibilities of this facility and the growth of the village which it heralds. Time will tell.

Recognising that the threat of Autumn is upon us, the team at Oasis is finding that the Sunday Roasts are a real hit. At only eight euros per person (including Irish beef and another roast which varies weekly), plus the chance for one lucky punter to win a free meal with a raffle drawn each week, it comes as no surprise that this Sunday tradition has become so popular. Not to mention the following that Russell Nash has gained. Normally starting about 21.30h, Russell will be performing on 1st October, as well as the 5th November and the 3rd December, so remember to mark these dates in your diaries! The guys at Oasis also want to remind you about the Premiership Plus they have playing, which means that all the major football league matches are shown. And, by the way, were you aware that the team can also source British speciality foods? A comprehensive list of goodies is available, if you ask at the bar. All you need to do is pay cost price plus a 10% handling fee up front, and subject to availability, items that range from full sides of Irish beef to horseradish and authentic British sausages to smoked kippers can be delivered back in La Herradura within a week. Finally, did you know that Oasis can also organise parties and buffets? Speak to Naomi, Bob, Graham or Gaynor, and let them know your needs, so that they can help you take the hassle out of organising that next special event.

A local bartender gains a coveted position in an international competition Matildo Nieva, esteemed bartender at the Chiringuito Marina Playa cocktail bar has finally been awarded international acclaim for his talents. At the recent competition of Barmanshow held on 15th September in Ibiza, this gifted chap managed to take 5th position out of a total of 32 contenders worldwide. So why not take some time out to visit Marina Playa at the Marina del Este? You know you’ve been looking for an excuse to sample one of Matildo’s exotic cocktails! And for afters, there’s a whole range of delicious options on offer in the Chiringuito to make your evening a truly memorable experience (mind that you don’t let the alcohol dull the memory, though!)

Finally... Oh well - they tried! La Herradura’s first-ever Sex Shop bit the dust after just two months. Who needs a sex shop when you’re constantly being scr**ed be the Town Hall? (Ed.)