Looking back over the more than 20 years that Juan Carlos Benavides has dominated the political life of Almuñécar, either as Mayor or from the opposition, there has never been a time when things have looked so grim for him.

At the beginning of the 80’s he left the PSOE in Motril, virtually persona non grata, and moved to Almuñécar. Those were dark days for him, but far from disappearing, he attracted a following that was destined to completely dominate the town, changing forever its physical appearance and political landscape.

Now, March 2006 he is navigating the Maelstrom again… what will we have to say about him in 20 years time? He and his followers have broken with their political umbrella, the Partido Andalucista and moved, en bloc, to the independent wing.

So, with enemies in Almuñécar, the provincial capital and the regional one too, he has not one friend in sight, and much less a safe port, as political and judicial storms threaten to take him to the bottom.

Nobody doubts that Benny can swim, but not even he has gills.

The Three Woes

Perhaps the first crack in the façade of the Mayor’s political fortress this month was the Zorra Incident. In a Town Council meeting the female opposition leader for the PSOE, Rocío Palacios, in search of an analogy to describe the appointment of a PA councillor to the post of overseeing the Tropical Fruits Affair, said, “It would be like putting the fox in charge of the chicken coup.” The Mayor, without really thinking about it, I imagine, quipped, “Or the vixen!” And that is when the excrement hit the fan…You see, ‘zorra’ also means ‘bitch’ (although some English press sources have translated it for Slut or Tart). Yes, the Collins does say Tart or Slut, but the Real Academia Española also gives the definition of ‘An astute and deceitful woman,’ which is more in line with the English secondary meaning of ‘fox’ and the Spanish masculine noun/adjective, Zorro. Furthermore, Zorra is the generic name of the Fox species, whereas Zorro merely refers the male fox. What I’m getting at, is that the feminists really don’t have a leg to stand on. But no matter; Benny copped it. Yes he meant Slut, without a doubt, but Rocío Palacios started with the analogies, which is playing with fire when you’re dealing with somebody like Benny.

This incident, however, was the straw that broke the camel’s back, as far as Benavides and the PA went. There had been no love lost between the party and their star player for a long time, and ever since he was passed over for provincial head, trenches had been dug and barbed wire strung. So, with the Zorra Affair, the provincial heads decided that it was a good time to get rid of a hot potato. How? By simply not backing him up. Benny hit a huff and left the party, his fellow PA councillors (who are all Benavidistas rather than Pata Pollos - PA), followed suit, as did 400-odd party members in town.

Does that mean that the Mayor has resigned? Not a bit of it, you see, because in the Spanish electoral system, you vote for the person; not the party. So, Benny simply left and took his votes with him to the Grupo Mixto, or independents. Nothing has changed, therefore, except the political denomination of the Town Council.

Which brings us to the Tele Benata Scandal. (Tele Tropical is Almuñécar’s local TV channel.) The Public Prosecutor is asking for a 30-month prison sentence for the Mayor for allegedly closing down the local, independent TV service (Costa Tropical S.L.) through coercion, and also for ‘abuse of power.’

The Mayor soon replaced the TV channel with one that - no one would argue - is little more than a propaganda outlet for his party. With the pretext that the private company owed a backlog of electricity bills, the Mayor cut off the electricity supply to the transmitting hut and then changed the locks. This happened in January 2004. The Mayor not only denies this, but claims that he had a court order to carry these actions out. He also pointed out that the TV installations have always been of municipal ownership and that Costa Tropical S.L. only had a service contract to provide local radio and TV programming. Furthermore, he claims that the company fell down on its contractual obligations on several occasions, which resulted in the Town Hall having to foot a 70,000-euro debt.

And now we come to Woe Three. The Mayor’s wife, María del Rosario González, is facing a demand by the Public Prosecutor for the regional high court (TSJA) for a five-year prison sentence for allegedly embezzling 26,757 euros from public funds during her time as the local Councillor for Tourism and Sport (1983-1991). Oops! The five-year sentence would be accompanied by a 15-year barring from public office. During 1991, the accused allegedly received a total of 96,760 euros via several cheques which was not deposited in the local tourist board’s (Patronato de Turismo) account, neither could she account for 26,757 euros of this sum. Furthermore the Public Prosecuter says that the Tribunal de Cuentas (judicial investigative body) detected in 1999 irregularities in the account settlement records corresponding to the missing sum.

And just in case you thought that he had enough woes on his hands, the Mayor is at present appealing against a court finding that has sentenced him and the rest of the directors of the publicly financed Tropical Fruits S.L. to paying back three million euros to the municipal coffers.

If Benny’s were the only shoes available on the planet, I would prefer to go bare-foot.

Wow! The Mayor’s problems generated a lot of news this month! There was a total of 15 full pages on his ‘Zorra Downfall.’ Consequently, my Almuñécar folder was bursting, but two thirds of its contents were solely to do with this subject. Anyway, let’s start with the other things that have been happening around town...

How many of you remember the old socialist mayor (PSOE) from the early 90s? Yes, it’s true; our Juan Carlos Benavides has not been the only Mayor of Almuñécar in the last 25 years, although it sometimes feels that way. It was on the eve of the municipal elections of ‘91 that Sr Benavides and his supporters were so confident of his coming re-election that they had already ordered dozens of roast chickens and champagne for a victory celebration in the town hall square. The socialist victory left a lot of mouths agape, and untouched cold roast chicken… Juan Rodríguez – a schoolteacher - was dully elected Mayor of Almuñécar and served until 1995, when he was trounced by an invigorated Sr. Benavides at the polls. Why this history lesson? Well, the said ex-mayor has been denounced by the Town Hall (i.e. the ruling party under Sr. Benavides) for allegedly misusing 150,000 euros (25 million pesetas) that were received by the then town council in 1993 for the setting up of the Escuela Taller de Almuñécar (a sort of municipal trade-training college). The previous mayor allegedly had the students working on private jobs, amongst other accusations. We did report on this last month, I think it was, because the INEM (national employment agency) had demanded to have the money reimbursed. But what is new this month is that the Town Council is seeking to make the previous Mayor’s party cough up, instead of forking into the municipal coffers.

News from the new dual-carriageway. The Ministry of Public Works maintains that the coastal highway (A-7) that passes through the province will be finished on schedule, i.e. the first half of 2009, despite the setback of the major accident on the Torrrecuevas bridge. Actually, before I go on, I should point out that the name of the ministry is in reality, Fomento, which translates as ‘fostering.’ You would have rightly thought that I was demented, drunk or simply hallucinating, if I had put, ‘The Ministry of Fostering.’ Anyway… back to the plot! The regional PP opposition party had put the delay on the construction down to the Central Government having diverted 10m euros to other projects. Fomento pointed out that “Owing to intensive rains during 2004, there have been several cases of earth movements (ask our Georg!), which required further study and correction.” Hence the diversion of 10m euros from the 2006 budget, which will have to be found in the 2007 one, as the La Herradura-Taramay stretch has been set back until then. Fomento admits, therefore, that this particular stretch is running behind schedule, although it will not affect the final conclusion date for the whole lot, i.e. 2009. As for the Granada – Motril road, it is envisaged that it will be completed in the first half of 2008. Personally, I couldn’t give a damn if both the PP and the PSOE spend 10m euros between them on condoms, Batman suits and The Simpsons complete collection of cartoons… as long as the bloody roads are finished on time!

Hands up those who are not impressed with Lumpy City? Where’s that? Jete, of course, with its 32 speed bumps! Talk about Operation Overkill! I mean, at the top end of the village on the road as it leaves Jete for Otívar there are even speed pumps on that S-bend on the bridge… Who in his right mind would be speeding on that bend? So, who are the worst culprits when it comes to speeding through the village? Bikers, of course, who, far from being dissuaded by these irksome obstacles, find them rather fun and ride full-tilt at them. I can only imagine that somebody got paid per speed bump on this council contract.

The CCOO (trade union) has decided to carry out its own investigation into the Torrecuevas Bridge Disaster and will be looking especially into whether a generator failure caused the accident. Incidentally and rapidly, Spanish grammar adheres to the Latin grammar practice of double the letters of plural abbreviations. Clear as mud, right? Look, if you want to write the abbreviation ‘USA’ in Spanish, you write EEUU (Estados Unidos) – you double the ‘E’ and ‘U’ because ‘States’ is plural… got it? So in the case of this article, CCOO stands for Comisiones Obreras. If it were singular, i.e. Comision Obrera, you would only write ‘CO’ Hey, man, is the Gazette a mine of info or what? Anyway, back to the bridge investigation… Just before the accident a huge generator failed: whereas the majority of the work on site gets its electricity supply from the mains, those working on top the bridge rely on a genny (generator). It is a fact that the union thinks it could be crucial because the manoeuvring of the platform on top is controlled right down to the last millimetre. There also appears to be a document missing, according to the CCOO, referring to the quality of materials on site; a document that is a requisite for all building sites. The CCOO admits that such a document for the Torrecuevas site may well exist, but that they have not been able to view it to date.

Amongst all the other goings-on in the town, news about the PGOU continues to crop up. Now, it has just been announced that the public viewing of the PGOU has been extended, yet again. Those interested will be able to view the plan in its entirety until the 31st of this month. Since the initial approval of the PGOU on the 17th August, this very controversial urban development plan has had its public exposition extended twice, the last ending on the 13th January. You will also have noticed that the PA have been setting up stands around the town for the collection of signatures in favour of holding a referendum on the acceptance of the PGOU. This is because both the provincial and regional authorities have told the Almuñécar town hall that it does not enjoy the legal competence to stage such a public consultation. Sr. Benavides, therefore, wants to be able to present the said authorities with a good handful of pages covered in signatures, testifying to the public support of his initiative.

You might not agree with all that Benny says, but there is one accusation that he often wields that could hold some water: The Regional Government in Sevilla, which is run presently by the PSOE, treats the townships under PSOE mayors very differently to those that are not. He cites the cases of urban encroachment in the municipality of Motril that appears to attract no criticism from the Junta, even though neighbouring Almuñécar under the PA is under constant scrutiny. Personally, I think that Motril should have the same level of scrutiny as Almuñécar, as opposed to Almuñécar having the same level of scrutiny as Motril. Well, the Almuñécar PP agrees with Benavides’ accusation. Juan Luis González Montoro – leader of the local PP here – points out that the Motril Council had no problem getting three dubious projects approved by the Junta in record time, one of which involves the reclassification of 171,000sq/mts of protected arable land into building land in the vega of Torrenueva. However, there are a couple of points to take into consideration, namely, that the Valle Río Verde has very different water resources to the Valle Río Guadalfeo. In other words, while Almuñécar would be considered unsuitable for a large urban growth owing to the scarcity of water down Río Verde, Motril stands at the mouth of the much more active Río Guadalfeo, with its Sierra Nevada thaw reserves. Furthermore, the Junta de Andalucía stopped 13 of the 26 projects proposed by a town under their same party, further along the Málaga coast.

But at the end of the day, politicians, you can be forgiven for thinking, are the bane of administrative efficiency, and only exist to counter each other’s efforts to attain a higher lifestyle by fair means or foul.

Hey, we’re famous! Almuñécar is going to be featured on the ONCE lottery ticket on the 6th April. The actual shot will be of the old town, near the castle, taken from the Majuelo park. It might be a good idea to buy one on the day, to keep as a souvenir… after all, it is not as if you were ever going to win anything with it… dream on!

The Ecologists in Acción, which is the main ecologist group around these parts, has kept a constant attack on rabid urban encroachment. This has earned them a counter attack from the Town Hall, which will be covered later on in the Almuñécar section. Anyway, the group’s latest complaint has been the 51-house development that has been ‘inexplicably’ thrown up in the gully below the International School. I say ‘inexplicably’ because the area is a natural watercourse for rainfall. Have we not seen dozens of cases where housing has been allowed in such places and has ultimately suffered some form of disaster when the sky eventually opens and delivers a Biblical dose of deluvian reminiscence? This, however, is not the gist of the ecologists’ complaint, which is more centred upon what such a residential estate is doing in a supposed green belt area. Personally, I remember when the area only had a solitary riding school and a hillside of pine trees, which was much better, in my opinion, than the present row of chicken coups, nailed to the indignant banks of an inactive storm water gully. The Mayor was quick to respond to this accusation, saying that the planning permission was approved on the 14th January 2002, when the previous administration under the PP-PSOE coalition council. According to the Mayor, the Ecologist made no objection whilst the housing was going up, and that his party had opposed the project. He also said that the Ecologist might like to investigate the fact that there is a 166sq/mt property on the estate that belongs to the brother of somebody who signed the building permission. What the Mayor did not mention was that his administration signed the first occupation certificate…Finally, yes, I know – some of our readers probably have bought houses there and will be offended, just as the residents of Crimenes del Mar on the Cerro Gordo headland are not pleased when we point out that their brick & concrete attack on the border of a natural park is equally as abominable.

You will have noticed that the little square, la Plaza Los Higuitos (Little Fig Tree Square) has been fenced off and is undergoing renovation. The 70,000-budget for this belongs to the Centro Comerical Abierto scheme. The 300sq/mtr-surface area will be lowered and paved with brown tiles. The fountain remains untouched. The stone veranda will also disappear, giving greater access to the square. Finally, street lighting will be provided. All this was scheduled to take three weeks all told… luckily Semana Santa comes late this year!

The political slaughter going on between the PSOE and the PA is spilling over into every corner of municipal governance. The PSOE leader Rocío Palacios is coming out of it strengthened, whereas Benny seems to have his back to the wall. Anyway, a general analysis of this will be offered in a separate article. Just one of the battles going on along the front line is the one concerning Tropical Fruits. The inner council of the Town Hall – in other words, the governing party, has decided to take out criminal proceedings against Rocío Palacios for publicly stating that the Town Hall had been lax in its custody of paperwork concerning the Tropical Fruits scandal. More than a few of you are asking yourselves, “What the bloody hell is the Tropical Fruits Scandal?” The mere name conjures up misdoings in the Caribbean or somewhere similarly exotic… But, alas, Tropical Fruits was a company that a municipal council under Sr. Benavides had set up, using considerable amounts of public money. The aim of the company was to exploit the cultivation capacity that the local area has for sub-tropical fruits through an experimental farm up in the Barranco de Ítrabo. The company, some would suggest, tried to quietly disappear but was caught – so to speak – sneaking out of the door. There was a tremendous amount of dubious book keeping: a judged sentenced Sr. Benavides to returning three million euros to the municipal coffers, which had been lost due to ‘deficient managing.’ Anyway, according to the Consejal de Urbanismo y Turismo, Emilio González Pavesio – who appears to be the de-facto Spokesman for the Town Hall – Rocío Palacios is “intent upon throwing sh*t at anything that moves.” The actual comment that has sparked this conflagration was made by Sra. Palacios, when she was referring to an incident that occurred on the 19th September. She said that the chairman of the liquidation committee for Tropical Fruits S.A. had received a court order to produce a certain document. As he did not possess that document, he requested it from the Town Hall, who replied that such a document did not exist in their possession. This is what attracted her accusation.

Have you ever heard of the Puente de Noy necropolis? Well, it is one of the lesser-known archaeological attractions of Almuñécar and is situated behind the secondary school IES Antigua Sexi, which isn’t far from the Guardia Civil post. This necropolis was declared Bien de Interés Cultural, by the Ministry of Culture in 1980. However, it has largely stood abandoned since then, resulting in the deterioration of the metal and canvas canopy over the years. It is yet another of the minor skirmishes between the town and the Regional Government, that have not been solved, regardless of who is in power in the Town Hall. It is the responsibility of the Junta de Andalucía to maintain the upkeep of the site. The necropolis comprises of 132 tombs, dating back to the Phoenician-Carthaginian period and was discovered in 1979.

Nearly a hundred people gathered to protest outside the old medical centre by the petrol station, which, despite constant promises of closure and symbolic inaugurations of the new medical centre in the P-4, remains open and functioning. The Mayor had invoked the protest several days earlier, calling upon the people of Almuñécar to manifest their discontent over the seemingly eternal situation. “We demand of the Junta de Andalucía and of the PSOE something as simple as the carrying out of their duty,” said the Mayor to the gathered protestors. He claimed that the actual medical centre was ceded - as a new construction - by the Central Government to the responsibility of the Regional Government 25 years ago, and that for years the centre has been operating on a zero budget. This lack of funds, he claims, has resulted in multiple leaks in the roof, electrical cables left hanging out and rats & cockroaches roaming through the rooms. He also claimed that the medical staff had been threatened with administrative measures if they were to decide to back the protest. He finished off by saying that the new centre was only lacking medical equipment to be able to function, which the Junta should have already provided. To prove this, he said that the new medical centre would be open to the public for one week, so that they could see for themselves that this was the case. The provincial delegate for the Health Department in Granada, Celia Gómez, had the following to say on the subject. She explained that the Almuñécar Town Hall and the Regional Health Service signed an agreement that entailed tasks to be carried out by both parties. “Benavides wants to obtain the maximum political benefit, now that the day is approaching when the local administration has to have carried out all its obligations.” According to the provincial delegate, the Town Hall was to provide part of the necessary equipment for the correct functional running of the new installations. She pointed out that she did not attend the premature inauguration because the Town Hall had not provided any paperwork that supported the fact that they had purchased the said equipment – that was back in June, but even today, the local administration has still not provided it. Once the said documentation has been submitted, she claims, the Heath Service can legally provide the water & electricity supplies, as well as the telephone lines. The furniture and fittings that are destined for the new installations have been sitting in storage, awaiting this bureaucratic outcome.

Between April and June the Basque savings bank, Caja Vital, will be sending down some 1,650 pensioners to spend their holidays in Almuñécar. Basically, they have offered any customer of 55 or over, who has his or her pension paid through them, one week in Almuñécar for 400 euros, thanks to an agreement signed between the savings bank and Hotel Helios. Each year, banks like Caja Vital pack off their customers on pre-arranged holiday locations around Spain; this year it was Almuñécar’s turn, in the case of Caja Vital. The customers pay half the costs, and the bank pays the other half. I’m going to have to have a serious word with Miguel, the bank manager of the Caja Rural, to see if they wouldn’t mind packing Mary and me off to the Caribbean under a similar arrangement, because our combined age is over 55! Failing that, they could send me off by myself under the condition that I come back when I’m 55 – what could be fairer?

The good folk of the Valle Rio Verde (Almuñécar, Jete, Otívar and Lentegí) are not happy with their postal service. In Otívar and Jete the diminutive post offices (barely more than optimistically staffed cupboards) only attend the public during 30 minutes, week day mornings… which is a luxury compared with Lentegí which doesn’t even have a spare cupboard where the postman can brew a cuppa, let alone a post office! So, Otívar post office has to cater for the hordes from Lentegí – all 342 of them. Jete, not to be outdone, only opens for 20 minutes to cater for the 800 inhabitants and literate livestock. Meanwhile, back in the epicentre of human activity – Almuñécar – were the milling masses flood and ebb, the post office is keeping its eyes out for larger premises with access for motor traffic.

A three-metre-long pilot whale was washed up on San Cristóbal Beach at the beginning of February, but judging by the degree of putrefaction of the corpse, it had been dead for at least a week and had been drifting before coming to rest as an impromptu tourist attraction. Rumours that the local police tried to fine it for illegal camping had not been confirmed before going to print.

Many of you will probably have already heard about the tragic accident that occurred in Jete, around mid-February, which resulted in the death of a young man on a forklift. Thirty-three-year-old Juan C.S. was a professional crane operator who had decided to get some extra hours in on his day off, operating a fork-lift in the tiny Valle Río Verde village of Jete. He had been moving building material up the Calle Escuelas to a house that is being renovated. The street is steep and slightly inclined. A combination of a heavy load, a little water on the street surface and the irregular surface caused the machine to slide backwards, and at the same time slewing round. This caused the forklift to tip over, trapping the young man underneath. The combined weight of the forklift and its load virtually cut the unfortunate man in half. He bled to death before anybody could really do anything to help him. Even the presence of the village doctor could not prevent his rapid death. Juan leaves behind a three-year-old son. The fact that this job was not his habitual one has caused disagreement between two main unions as to whether this was a work-related death or not. The UGT (Union General de Trabajadores) considers that the task the victim was carrying out had nothing to do with his regular work activities and was not formally registered anywhere. The CCOO (Comisiones Obreras) on the other hand, considers that the victim was an autónomo (self-employed worker) carrying out some addition work with a couple of other workers in his charge. It’s a job to know what was messier: the accident or the union wrangling.

There was a hell of a pile up on the road between Taramay and Salobreña, near the Urbanisación Alfa-Mar, involving four lorries on Friday, 23rd February. Yet despite impressive destruction at the scene of the accident, only one person was seriously hurt – one of the lorry drivers. The road was cut off for most of the morning, with the traffic flow only be restored by the early afternoon. It couldn’t have happened at a worse time as that same day the bank-holiday weekend began (the 28th was El Día de Andalucía), with hundreds of cars heading down to the coast from Granada. Anyway, our Georg, who was on his way to Motril for a doctor’s appointment, will be overjoyed to recount his experience in the traffic jam to all who he encounters.

If you would like to see one of the thrones warming up for the Easter processions, you might be in luck. The Asociación de Amigos Cueva Siete Palacios de Almuñécar has begun rehearsals for the Pasión Viviente, which will be on Easter Saturday (15th April). The rehearsals are held on Tuesdays and Thursdays between 19.00h and 21.00h in the Centro Socio Cultural, Cueva Siete Palacios, which is up in the old town (Barrio San Miguel). If you can lick the lingo, phone 606 751 372 and ask Manuel Moral for more info. If not, just turn up and make a nuisance of yourself until they let you in out of desperation.

A 71-year-old woman was seriously injured when she was knocked down in the evening of the 19th in the Avenida de Europa, just in front of the Majuelo Park. Although it was a hit-and-run case, the driver was tracked down and arrested that same night. I’m sorry, but it was only a question of time, with the cars parked on both sides of this narrow but straight street, obscuring the zebra crossings. Anybody like to guess the age and sex of the driver? It seems that cars are either left stationary in gloating inconvenience, or racing around in Scalectrix ecstasy.

As you will recall in the last issue of the Gazette, we mentioned the chiringuitos and their relationship with the Town Hall in ensuring their survival. Well, funnily enough, our illustrious Mayor, Juán Carlos Benavides has been meeting in Madrid this month with Costas (who own the beaches, if you remember correctly) to analyse the coast precisely around the bay of La Herradura. Typically, hot on the agenda were the state of the chiringuitos and the construction of an adequate promenade or ‘paseo’ for our area. Benavides, according to the Town Hall, pointed out that there just wasn’t the space to accommodate both chiringuitos on the beach, as well as the paseo. As far as he was concerned, the options were clear: “You have a paseo, or you have the chiringuitos, or you do the reasonable thing and you just leave everything as it is now.” Of course, whether the current paseo gets upgraded or repaired, is anyone’s guess, but is sure doesn’t look likely to shift location. Interesting that the pier is still considered dangerous enough to be blocked off by a barrier placed there by the Policía Local. Whatever happens, Benavides clearly seems very much in favour (together with the Town Hall) of allowing the chiringuitos to continue business as normal. You can draw your own conclusions as to their relationship with him.

Well, the new children’s playground is certainly starting to take shape, clearly jollied along by the fact that the local fiesta of San José is imminent (the specific date is March 19th, but is likely to last about a week). Frighteningly enough, word has it that this delightful spot will actually house the pumping station for the submarine outlet for our part of the Mediterranean. (When we consider the contamination that goes on in this neck of the woods, it might go part of the way towards explaining why our water bill, at least, has almost doubled over the past year, in order to cater for extra purification). So, no points for guessing the smell factor that’s destined for this area. The reason given for the change of location is to remove the environmental impact of having this pumping station where it currently is, blighting the look of the beach itself (ironic, really). Just quite how the roots of the trees in this new park are going to affect said outlet, will be interesting to say the least.

Big changes are afoot in the Plaza Nueva (the main square of La Herradura, also called the Plaza de Independencia). Since the buildings surrounding the square were built, many of the ground-floor shop units have remained uncompleted and unoccupied. The downside of this has been that they have been something of an eyesore, with the plain, temporary frontages covered in unsightly graffiti. The upside of the vacant units over the last few years has been that during periods of fiesta (especially with San José in March and Las Cruces in May) these locations have been used as unofficial casetas (temporary village-fete bars) for the all-night ravers! It is some relief for the residents above, then, that work is finally underway to complete and open up a number of shops. Cards are being played close to chests. However, the latest information circulating is that in the near future, shops will be opening, selling footwear, kitchens & windows, and clothing (not all together!). Also there are plans for a new fast-food outlet in the northeast corner of the Plaza. Antonio (known to many of us from El Tinao) has been more forthcoming about his new venture, which is the creation of a fine new bar, also in the northeast corner of the Plaza. His attention to detail when dealing with customers is also evident in the fitting-out job he has had done on the new bar. We look forward to this new business opening during March. Such developments, if well managed, can be really good news for La Herradura. In most European towns, the main square is (and always has been) the hub of the town. Obviously, La Herradura has developed in a different fashion, as the main square used to be the Plaza de San José (where Sam and Marga have their language school, Idiomas el Mar). Those who bank with Caja Rural will have noticed the huge photo that they have of the village from the late 70’s, in which you can clearly see the old layout of the town. The church and main plaza were moved subsequently, better placed to serve the rapidly growing town. A few businesses have been operating very successfully on the Plaza de Independencia (including Margo’s language school, Jonathan and Amanda’s Ambiente and the Clínica del Mar). However, the opening of new shops, bars and restaurants will finally give the Plaza that ‘centre-of-town’ feel.

And just when you thought it wasn’t quite time for pancakes, it turns out that because of Día de Andalucía (the regional holiday 28th February), the period just before the Christian tradition of Lent seems to last about 3 weeks this year. Talking about the Plaza, those living in the vicinity were treated to a very noisy and colourful children’s Carnival celebration on the 21st February, when they paraded in classes from the Primary School, Las Gaviotas. José Maria’s legendary Califa post-carnival kids’ party was clearly missing. But then, a relaxing drink watching a spectacular sunset from Luciano’s bar certainly did the trick for many of the parents! Now we’re looking forward to further parades and fancy dress antics in the village on Saturday night, 4th March, where places such as Las Brujas and Luciano’s will be keeping the atmosphere alive.

Amongst all this talk of Carnival and parties, sadly there was a point at which the children in the Primary School, at all levels, were becoming almost hysterical about the possibility of two clowns appearing in La Herradura. The story went that they asked unsuspecting adults and children ‘Sonrie o corbata?” (smile or neck tie, literally). You were lost however you answered, since if you chose the former, they would slice your mouth at the corners, in order to extend your smile. If you chose the latter, instead, they would slit your throat. Nice, huh? Exploring the Internet, it appears as though this particularly choice tale has its roots further north in Spain, where underground crime activity (with links in Latin America and even the Mafia in Italy) use such barbaric methods to encourage co-operation from Jo and Josephina Bloggs. Just the kind of stuff that makes for serious nightmares. And then we wonder why so many children have a morbid fear of clowns. Unfortunate choice or psychological intent, then that the teachers of the Infants school all decided to dress up as clowns for the parade on the 21st?

(It’s what the Spanish call and Urban Legend or what is called a hoax in English. They are the equivalent to camping fireside horror tales and invariably involve South American or Romanian immigrant gang members. (The xenophobic undertone is worrying). A gang of youths approach a teenage girl and make her decide between ‘rape’ or ‘a clown’s smile.’ The victim chooses the second and has her mouth slit; hence, Clown’s smile. The other variation is ‘The Piano Smile’ which recounts the gory details of the victim having alternative teeth pulled out. As always, nobody knows personally of such an incident, but always has a friend, who has a cousin who… There are no immingrant gangs in most parts of Spain – only in big cities up north. Sorry for butting in like this – The Ed.)

El Ancla welcomes a new member to the team. Apart from Leonna’s efforts, together with the rest of the crew, this lady can really sing. So, get yourselves organised to join them for St Patrick’s night on the 17th March, where you’ll enjoy Leonna’s talents as a fantastic female vocalist, the cheapest Guinness in La Herradura and - as if that wasn’t enough - there are free Guinness goodies as well. Sunday 19th March of course marks San José (Spain’s very own Father’s Day) and what better excuse is there to indulge in one of the Ancla’s famous Sunday lunches? As with all Sunday lunches there, make sure you book your table now in order to avoid disappointment. Since San José really lasts just about a whole week, El Ancla has decided to celebrate with ‘Tapas Time’ 4-7pm and ‘Happy Hour’ 6-7pm every evening, with a two-for-one offer on beer, house wine and selected spirits. All pay per view matches are being shown, as well as the ongoing Six-Nations’ rugby tournament (go Wallabies!) and all you golfers around the village, don’t forget to collect your TAGS membership forms from the bar. Continuing the sports theme, regular late Friday night boxing is also being shown. Finally, thanks to the efforts of customers and friends (it’s a tough life, but somebody’s got to do it!) at the recent cheese and wine evening, a brand new wine list, compiled from favourites, is now available. Who said market research had to be hard going?

Whatever your excuse, you’re bound for a fun time and good food (not overlooking their famous fish and chips with mushy peas!) when you next visit El Ancla.

The PP (Partido Popular) has been pushing for greater pre-school facilities as more families move into the village and greater numbers of parents need to work. The pre-school La Caleta, located on the beachfront, on the opposite corner to Jeannot’s has long been recognised as insufficient for the requirements of the village. The building is not exactly modern, seems to frequently be in need of repair, and certainly doesn’t afford the space, the staff, or the facilities to house the number of children who need pre-school care. Let’s see whether the pleas of the party result in any changes. I certainly won’t be holding my breath!

Marine turtle rescued locally by La Herradura’s Dive Centre. Just when you thought (and hoped, perhaps?) that nothing sizeable could survive in these waters, along comes a marine turtle within a mile off the coast of Cerro Gordo. Obviously in distress to find itself so far from home, this turtle (one of the species known as, boba) was delivered safely by divers to CREMA (Centro de Recuperación de Espécies Marinas), which is a scientific organisation that is specifically dedicated to the wellbeing of marine life.

Many will have seen (possibly in slight bewilderment) the works that are currently underway beside the Hotel Sol Los Fenicios, for the new Estación Náutica Costa Tropical. The appearance could certainly not be described as boring! In fact, some have been wondering if La Herradura was to have its very own mini version of Aqua Tropic! But from a brief tour the other day, the construction team has done a nice job and it looks like they are on target to complete the project (including the new retail unit at the front) prior to the San José celebrations in mid-March.

Progress or… As you come into the entrance of La Herradura, on the left hand side, when you turn down towards the beach, you may have noticed some clearing activity on the ruins that have lain there undisturbed for many years. Well, it turns out that, as usual, they’re bulldozing in order to build yet more living accommodation; more than 50 flats around a courtyard is the rumour. Sadly, the building that they’ve decided to sacrifice was actually the munitions point for the fortress or ‘castillo’ located down the other end of La Herradura. So, in fact, rather than restoring these ruins at the entrance to the village (something that various archaeologists in the area have been lobbying the Town Hall with for some time now) key players within the village, together with financing from abroad, have ensured that restoration is no longer an option.

Enough to warm us all up after what seems an endless Winter, the folk at La Tartana want everyone to know that during March they will be introducing a new American style ‘Martini Menu’ at the bar, offering several tempting varieties. Back from their own break and ready for a busy year ahead, with Semana Santa just around the corner, they have already begun booking their annual Easter Sunday lunch. So don’t leave it too late to book and run the risk of missing the Easter bunny American style!

Felicia Hall Art Gallery hosts another winning exhibition with Antonio Gracia’s oil paintings, depicting all the passion and expression of Spanish life on show until 19th March. The following week, Felicia, Andrew and Rosi will be working tirelessly towards a stunning new exhibition displaying the inimitable works of Rowland Fade and Ana de Jesús. As planned, each exhibition should last approximately one month and Felicia and Andrew certainly seemed determined to continue this philosophy of showing distinctive and contrasting talents from the Spanish world of art.

The Guardia Civil – bless their cotton socks – arrested a 45-year-old Salobreña man for flashing. Yes, our local now-you-see-it, now-you-don’t specialist was obviously feeling generous because he actually got completely undressed and threw in some ‘breast fondling’ for good measure (his victim’s; not his own) Unfortunately – and here we can drop the humour – she had her six-year-old kid with her, whom she had just picked up from school. This happened on the beach between the old sugar factory and the Peñon, by the way, at midday. He simply stepped out of the sugar cane field onto the beach in front of them. The man was later arrested, whilst he was shopping in a big store in town.

The IU (Looney Left) has accused the PP (Charlie Chaplin Moustache Brigade) of hypocrisy for governing with the help of a transfuga! If you stop cringing and come out from under the table, I’ll tell you what a transfuga is. No, it’s not a particularly nasty dentist’s tool or an omnivorous and rabid canine… it’s a rebel politician. A transfuga is a turncoat who has left his party, taking his council seat with him, and joined the opposition. And when I say ‘seat,’ I mean ‘political office’ and not a piece of furniture. And they have a point. You see, the Mayor, who is PP, is howling for Benavides – who abandoned his party, the PA – to step down as the Vice-Chairman of the Mancomunidad, yet… your illustrious mayor, Jesus Avelino Menéndez, is only able to retain the control of the Salobreña Town Council with a rebel from another party! But Transfugismo is rife right through Spanish politics, from municipal to regional level and not just in dear old Solid Brenda. (Thanks, Tony – it’s a gem!)

The Sole Tappers and Nipple Tweakers, more commonly known as the Guardia Civil, had no sooner scrubbed their hands after the previous arrest, than they were off again, brandishing kleptomaniac handcuffs. A Moroccan Gentleman had gone into the export business with Germany, trading in pupil-expanding tobacco, also known as ‘smiley smoke’ or ‘wobbly weed.’ He was intercepted in Barcelona but, having jettisoned the 10 kilos of ‘goodies,’ he heaved a Houdini, leaving some seriously undernourished handcuffs behind. Where did he go? Yes, straight to that den of wicked iniquity, Sally’s Beamers! He had no sooner drawn a breath of our wonderful sea air, when he was devoured by a herd of famished handcuffs.

Ángel Coello (IU) has accused the beset Mayor of partisan use of municipal installations (*audible off-stage sharp intakes of breath *) Incidentally, ‘Angel’ is a rather optimistic – perhaps, forlornly so - name for a politician, wouldn’t you say? Anyway, having given you time to recover from the shock caused by the accusation… back to the plot! He accused the Mayor and Councillor for Urban Planning of holding an informative conference in the Casa de Cultural, which was a barely disguised PP event for collecting signatures against the Catalan Statutes. (Don’t ask! Suffice to say: local political branch obeying head office national politics). As if this were not enough, claims, indignantly, Sr Coello, if you phone the municipal number to report defects in the maintenance and conservation of municipal services, you are told by the answering machine that your request will be attended by the ‘PP,’ and not, as it should, ‘by the Town Hall.’

The bounty produced by the new PGOU has permitted the largest municipal budget in history – some 26m euros, which is 36% higher than last year’s. The budget was described by the Town Council as ‘ambitious and balanced.’ Some of the projects that will see benefit from this budget are the ‘panoramic lift’ (escalator) giving access to the Castle, the pedestrianisation of the old town, the completion of the ‘Great Unfinished Bridge’ and a municipal car park, where the old market stands. “This is about a budget that firmly backs tourist development that intends to consolidate a series of infrastructures that serve as a salutary shock for a sustainable development phase in Salobreña, with quality infrastructure, and at the same time will serve as the basis for other investments from the private sector sphere,” said the Mayor – all in one breath, leaving nobody the wiser. What did that man eat for freaking breakfast, Guys! But wait! There’s more… “With this budget, the Town Hall of Salobreña places itself at the head of the new necessities of the town, backing solutions that conciliate economic development with the natural environment and alternative uses.” Overall translation: we’re going to build like buggery, spend as if there were no tomorrow, but don’t panic - we also hug trees in our spare time.

The said council meeting also saw the first real and legal steps towards Salobreña’s promised marina, according to those assembled, as the basis and statutes of the Actuación de la Unidad SUT1 were finally signed and approved. Everything is now waiting upon a reply from the Public Port Authorities of Andalucía.

Oh boy, has IU’s Ángel Coello been busy this month – and in this instance you might agree with him. He has objected publicly to the reclassification of the TH2 area (that area between the river and the Motril golf course) from ‘Hotel Only’ to ‘Residential.’ He claims that building developers are the one who are really drawing up the Salobreña PGOU and not Jaime Montaner and team in the Town Hall Urban Development Dept. He has termed the agreement between the Town Hall and the two majority landowners on the plot (Comarex and Alcaidesa), as the biggest urban development scandal in the history of Salobreña. Just to give you some insight, Comarex is behind a huge amount of building projects in neighbouring Almuñécar: the Carmenes del Mar brick horror on the Cerro Gordo headland, overlooking La Herradura Bay, for example. The owner of the company is also rumoured to be behind the controversial hotel project in Cotobro. Under the new agreement 60% of the plot will be residential use, including 800 chalets. Bear in mind, Ladies and Gentlemen, that the original owners of the plot sold their land at reduced prices because it was for hotel use only – had it been for residential use, they would have got a lot more for it. In other words, Comarex buys it up relatively cheaply as hotel land, then has it changed to residential use, and is ‘allegedly’ making a killing on it.

Further Information about Gangs of Thieves in the area. As reported in the last edition of The Seaside Gazette, on Saturday 7th January, my wife and I were the victims of a robbery at a supermarket car park in the village of Salobreña! The thieves stole my wife’s handbag and, when it was recovered by the police, all the cash, a mobile phone and a debit card from an English bank were missing. They used the debit card to take cash from our account on three separate occasions because, although the pin number was not known to the thieves, it appears they had an electronic device, which can ‘read’ the card and allow them to get the pin number or change it to allow them to use it, so your bank card is not as safe as you might think, despite all the current fuss over Chip and Pin! We are currently still dealing with the NatWest bank fraud department to get the situation resolved, even though two of the amounts stolen from our account occurred after the theft was reported to the bank! I have since received information from others who have had their bags, watches and wallets stolen recently in the area. One person had their bag stolen in Salobreña with three others telling me that their bags were stolen in Motril and in each case they were stolen in a supermarket car park from inside their car when they were putting their shopping away, exactly like my wife’s handbag was stolen. Another victim had her handbag, plus a briefcase containing bank cheques and important papers, stolen in Nerja by a young man on a motor scooter, who rode past her as she was opening her car door and snatched the two items from her hand, before riding off. Others have reported having their watch, wallet or purse stolen at open air markets in the region at a time when they were too busy looking at something to buy or after being bumped into by a stranger at the market. I am not saying that the area is full of thieves, but please be careful whenever you are about in a crowded place or in a supermarket car park!

There has been a recent accident on N-340. The accident occurred on Friday 17th February on the coast road, between the Salobreña entrance to the road and the Granada exit from it. A local man, thought to be about thirty years of age, was killed when his car was involved in an accident with a lorry. It is believed that he was in the act of overtaking another vehicle, when his car hit the lorry. This is thought to be because he did not see it, due to the sun being low at the time of the accident and restricting his vision, although the police are still investigating the accident. At this time of year the sun can be very bright and make it very difficult to see the oncoming traffic, due to the sun’s low position in the sky, so whenever overtaking, make sure that the road is clear and if you are not sure, do not overtake! It’s better to get there late, than not to get there at all.

Organ Donor Cards. On page 36 of the last issue of the Seaside Gazette, there was an item saying that Spain is in the number one position in the world, for Human Organ Donations and Transplants, for the thirteenth consecutive year. Well done, Spain! This current item is in response to emails, asking how anyone, living in Spain, can obtain a Donor Card and carry it with them. After all, your organs are no further use to you when you have died, but might help someone else to live a fuller life and a longer one. I know that none of us like to discuss our own deaths, but being able to help others, by donating our organs when we die, might be important to you. What you have to do to obtain an Organ Donor Card is to get an application form from your doctor, the health centre or the hospital, and fill it in. When complete, you send it to the address in Granada, shown on the back of the form and they send you the Donor Card to carry in your purse or wallet. You can also get more information and a form by contacting AEDOPAT, the organisation that deals with people wishing to donate their organs when they die, by going onto their website at www.aedopat.org. If you live in Almuñécar, you can obtain one of these forms from La Clinica surgery in Paseo del Altillo, which is the surgery where Dr. Axel Thieke and Dr. Wolfgang Piller have their practice. Thanks for caring!

The Spanish Postal system in Salobreña is not coping. The number of people living in Salobreña and the surrounding district is still on the increase, with more houses and flats being built all the time. However, the provision of new personal Post Boxes in the village post office, is not increasing at the same rate and people are having to wait in a system best described as Dead mans shoes! This is causing residents some problems, as banks, etc; require an address or post box where they can send you their mail. You might not know, but the mailboxes in the post office are subject to an annual rent and are, obviously, a source of revenue to the post office. You would think therefore, that the post office would put some more boxes for rent in their building, but they don’t have the room and providing some kind of extension to house the extra boxes, would be an expensive outlay, compared with the extra annual revenue the extra boxes would generate. More boxes are required, but how the Post office will resolve the problem remains a mystery.

News about Fiestas. In February, we celebrated St Valentine’s Day; you know, the day when roses cost a fortune and we men buy the wrong gift for the woman in our lives! There were lots of St Valentine’s events locally and one was organised by Alan Ibbotson and me to raise funds for a local church. This Dinner and Dance was actually held at the Al Andalus hotel at Maro, with people from Salobreña attending and staying overnight at the hotel. The music was provided by Michael Grace, a local entertainer, who sings all styles of song and is accompanied by backing tracks. Everyone enjoyed the food, music and dancing. The food was excellent, both in the evening and at breakfast, being provided by the hotel, which is a training school for chefs and catering staff, who produced puddings to die for! If you are looking for a place to hold an event, with or without overnight accommodation, then Alan and I would recommend the Al Ándalus hotel to you without hesitation. The staff was very attentive to everyone’s needs, including those with special dietary requirements and it was excellent value for money, both regarding food and the accommodation. If you want to make a booking, then contact Rafael Aragon at the Hotel on 952 529 600. Our event raised €600. Then there was Shrove Tuesday, when the British in particular, go crazy over some cooked dough covered in sugar, etc. This month there’s St Patrick’s Day on 17th March, when we all pretend to be Irish or claim Irish ancestry and wear green wigs and green clothes! However, this year the annual event at the Salobreña Hotel has been cancelled, for a variety of reasons, but it is hoped to run it again next year. Sorry about that! My wife, being Welsh, reminds me that I have to mention St David’s Day, which is 1st March. The most important day of all is, of course ladies, the 26thMarch, Mothering Sunday! So do the right thing guys, take your good lady out for lunch and buy some flowers on her special day, it could pay dividends!

SPJ Burgers re-opens. This popular Salobreña take-away restaurant is now open again, after recent refurbishment and Sue and Patrick look forward to welcoming all their old customers as well as any new ones. They don’t just produce burgers, but everything to take away and are open from 13:00h to 15:00h and from 19:00 to late every day. New customers can find them in Avenida Federico Garcia Lorca 6 and you can see some of what they can provide from their advert in this issue of The Gazette. Give them a try.

Summertime begins soon! The clocks go forward at the end of this month, during the night of Saturday 25th March and just like they will back in the U.K. So, when you get up on Sunday 26th, the clocks in your home should be one hour ahead of what they were on Saturday night. Don’t forget to change them, or you could be late for that lunch date, meeting, etc. So we lose an hour in bed, but we have those lovely summer months to look forward to, the clear blue skies, hot sunny days and warm balmy evenings, how wonderful!

Sitting outside Chiringuitos. Anne Eastwood, in her Herradura Whispers section, in last month’s issue of the Gazette, wrote, on page 74, about the expiration of the current licences for these beach cafes and restaurants next year. Anne explained the situation extremely well in her article, but by the emails I have received from residents in the Salobreña area, not everyone read the item! I would ask those who sent me emails, to read the article in last month’s issue and, if your favourite Chiringuito’s seating area outside has changed, or even disappeared completely, the reason is that the owners are waiting to see what the new licences and concessions, will allow them to do from next year. All the owners along the coast are unhappy about the situation, including those in Salobreña, but I dare say that things will be resolved in due course!

The Motor Homes are still here. However, they have been moved to the road one back and parallel to the beach, because the Town hall maintenance crews have been painting the parallel parking spaces along the beachfront. One day during February, there were sixty-seven of them illegally parked along the beach front.

The monthly car boot sale in Motril, which takes place every third Saturday in the month, is thriving and very popular with the Spanish and Foreigners alike. It is situated just off the road to Puntalón and near to the Mercadona supermarket. If you are not sure where to find the site, drive along the N340 to the Torrenueva side of Motril, then go up the road from the N340, called Carretera De Almeria and where all the car show rooms are situated. When you get to the supermarket called Plus, turn right, as if you were going to this supermarket, but go past it to the road to Puntalón and go straight across this road. The car boot fair is in the area directly in front of you. There are lots of things on offer for sale, from all kinds of household goods to houseplants and there is plenty of space to park nearby. The stalls are well set out and this gives pedestrians, plenty of room to walk round and see what is on offer. If you haven’t visited this morning car boot fair, then give it a try in March and make a note in your diary to go on Saturday 18th. The event is in aid of The Motril Cancer Association, so please make the effort and go and support them.

The driving range at the Los Moriscos golf course has introduced a new system of payment for using it. You now have to go to the clubhouse, where you normally pay for your round of golf and purchase tokens. Each token gives you about sixty range balls from the machine and will cost you three euros. The machine at the range has been changed and will now not take coins, so it is worth getting more tokens than you need on your next visit, so that when you need to practice again, you can avoid the frustration of the new system.

Motril is currently having a purge on filling in the holes in the roads and not before time, it has to be said. They have also changed the positions of the pedestrian crossings around Al Campo and McDonalds, but many people are still using the old ones and there have been some ‘near misses’, so take care when driving.

A Motril company, Grupo Alaminos, is pushing for the go ahead to build a macro-leisure centre where La Alcoholera now stands. Said leisure centre will cost around 18m euros to build. We will tell you more about it next month.

The emergency department of Motril’s Hospital Santa now has a separate waiting room for minors. The health department will pay for accommodation, full board, for parents with children under 14 in hospital. Within three years all rooms for child patients will be individuals.

Greenhouses are very fruitful, producing all kinds of product… hashish, for example. Yes, the police collared a greenhouse owner, after finding 15 marihuana plants, some of which had reached a height of three metres. Three of the plants had already been pulled out and were being dried, prior to being ‘marketed.’ The leaves were removed from the plants in the police stations and weighed: 24 kilos! This is the third successful raid carried out in the Motril area.